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More Oldy But Goodies!! For You Newbies--Prince Hygiene Craps the Bed (Literally)

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 2:26pm

Literally!

Friday night, I get home try to have an adult conversation with GG. Prince Hygiene interrupts about 4 times (successfully, of course, GG LETS him!!)

So I just try to roll with it. Prince Hygiene doesn’t say hello; GG makes me a couple of vodka tonics to loosen up. GG has already taken Prince Hygiene to Walmart for a toy of his choosing and pizza. What does he get for rewarding Prince Hygiene?
At 4:00 am Sunday sounds of Prince Hygiene up and talking/playing to himself. Now mind you GG didn’t really put Prince Hygiene to bed the night before. I went to bed at 8 pm, because I was tired. Prince Hygiene fell asleep on the sofa and GG moved him to his bed at around 8:30 pm. ARGH!

4:20 am, Prince Hygiene stops playing in his room and walks in our bedroom to see me and GG just trying to sleep. He walks away again and back into our room again to glance as if to say “HEY, I’M UP now CATER to ME!!”

4:30 am Prince Hygiene starts crying. GG jolts out of bed to find that Prince Hygiene has crapped his bed ON PURPOSE b/c he wanted daddykins to get out of bed and play with him.

GG was SUPER mad at Prince Hygiene for this as he actually realized this was Prince Hygiene trying to be the center of attention. I thought it was the right time to bring up the fact that Prince Hygiene puked on purpose a couple weekends ago b/c he didn’t want to go back to bed!!

This was actually accepted (or so it seemed) by GG. GG made Prince Hygiene clean himself and bedroom up, then it was on to renovations (making our bedroom bigger and moving Prince Hygiene to the farthest room). GG actually said he’s making a new rule: that Prince Hygiene must stay in bed until a decent hour and amuse himself with books, quiet playing until we get up!!! I’ll believe it when I SEE it. GG also felt obligated to make up an elaborate story that Prince Hygiene wanted to get me something at Walmart. I don’t believe it; GG tries VERY hard to establish a bond between me and Prince Hygiene and it’s not going to happen. Sorry! I see Prince Hygiene going down the same lane as his older siblings! A Behemoth bot. He asked to talk to the Behemoth twice and WENT HOME EARLY!!!! THERE IS A GOD!!!

Anyway I thought I would lose it Saturday with Prince Hygiene’s constant tuneless whistling, his saying “GA GA GOO GOO” about a 1000 times and his new trick, woody woodpecker laugh which he did about 10 times in a row before GG told him to stop it. He tried it again and did his classic convulsing. I spent the entire day spring cleaning!!!

P.S. the Behemoth bought Prince Hygiene a new pair of VELCRO shoes!!! So she doesn't have to teach him to tie!!! What a waste of womb!!!

Comments

red flags's picture

Submitted by red flags on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 4:15pm

How old is Prince Hygiene? Btw... I love the nickname and may have to steal it for the little miss princess hygiene that I deal with at home.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 8:48pm

What's wrong with VELCRO shoes? Did you know that the kid that starred in all those Harry Potter movies could NOT tie his shoes? My son could not tie his shoes until he was 10...he wore diapers until he was almost 5!!! It was a nightmare. NO MOTHER does this out of laziness...it's a heck of a lot harder to have to dress a kid than to have them dress themselves. Some kids have developmental delays or other delays that are NOT obvious to everyone. I don't know of ANY kid that shits on the bed because they LOVE to shit on beds...there is a bigger issue here and it is obviously not being addressed.

stepmomto3bioto1's picture

Submitted by stepmomto3bioto1 on Thu, 02/09/2012 - 9:53pm

Hmmm. I absolutely DO believe some kids WILL shit themselves or their beds and also make themselves puke JUST to get attention. Ive seen it with my own two eyes. Wasnt out kids but it was my ex hubbys nephew. At first and for abt a year everyone was very concerned thinking he jad a physical problem. Nope!! They got him some counseling and his poor parents heard him reveal the truth. He flat out admitted he did it on purpose. And his reason?? Because his mom & grandma would feel bad for him afterwards and buy him a new toy (grandma) & his mom would make him his favorite blueberry pancakes " to make him feel better". The therapist suggested that they never ever reward him for it again!!! He quit once he was made to clean it all himself as well.

So yes! Some kids do it on pupose. Sad really.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Fri, 02/10/2012 - 8:41am

My own SISTER used to play sick to get attention or when things weren't going her way. I'm so SICK of people "diagnosing" kids who are merely showing CLASSIC clever, manipulative childhood behaviour. The sad part of it is that parents are letting their EXTREMELY SMART children get away with it under the guise of pity, or some sort of "disease" or syndrome.

Parents you really SHOULD give your children more credit!!! They are not just a bowl of quivering brainless one-celled amoeba