My BF and I have lived together for four years, we are both content with not being married. I have a fear that if we are married that somehow his ex will find someway to use that against him, a little paranoid I know. There is SS who is 11 and SD who is 12, probably 50% of the time we get along pretty well and the other 50% of the time I am gritting my teeth trying to "fake it till I make it". The BM is a very crazy angry person, a bad combonation! BM is very manipulative with everyone in her life including the children. Constantly bad mouthing BF and myself and anything to do with us. BM has gotten several OOP and then after 3 months or so when everyone gets to court the BM says she wants to drop it or the judge says there is no findings. And when we ask how she can do that we get the response, well things happen like that all the time in these cases and most a great great deal worse, I understand that but how does it make it right. And the things they are over are the most ridiculious things one could even imagine. BM constantly harrasses BF with emails and nasty voicemails, constantly threatens to not let him see or talk to the children. About 6 years ago I was very niave and sheltered to what can happen to children in divorce and to be honest I want to go back to not knowing.