So. I'm not sure what to do about my SO. He's a bit distraught because he is fed up and frustrated with the way the visit is going on SD's part.

He told me last night that he can't wait for this weekend to be over so that the visit will be over but he feels just awful for saying or thinking that way.

He also said that he's fearful of future visits because he doesn't know how SD is going to behave towrads either one of us. It's stressful to him because he feels caught in the middle by SD's antics and by the fact that SD and I don't communicate with one another. I told him that the ball is solely in SD's court as far as opening up communication. If she doesn't talk to me, I'm not going out of my way to talk to her or let her walk all over me like she has, it's just not going to happen. I don't need to associate with her just because I'm in his life. I just need not stand in his way of associating with his own daughter. And the same goes for SD. She doesn't need to associate with me because I'm in SO's life, but, she can't stand in the way of our relationship. That's the bare minimum expectation on both of us right now.

I told him once that SD being the way she is now I can deal with as long as SO sticks to his guns and doesn't revert back to the Disney Dad bs of yore. I will just maintain my disengagement and do my own thing while she visits. Of course, I told him that I can understand why he's looking forward to her going home because we lead relatively relaxing and stress-free lives most of the time and SD has thrown a major wrench into our otherwise peaceful cohabitation. Now, I'm not saying there isn't stress or drama in our lives, but, we manage to keep it to as little stress and drama as we possibly can. But, it's also understandable for the fact that SO has not had SD for this length of time since he and GUBM split, nor has he ever been the sole parent in her life for a month at a time since she has been born because GUBM has been firmly up SD's backside from day one. Perhaps he should just give up on the idea of having her out here for a solid month over the summer and break up her visitation to a couple weeks here, a couple weeks there. It'll probably be less stressful for everyone involved.

I just don't know what to say to SO about how badly he is feeling about this other than to reassure him that I don't judge him nor fault him for wanting the visit to be over already. I just think he's going the same way I have, wherein if SD keeps on this upward trajectory of suck, she will eventually be disinvited from visiting us at our house and will only have sparse visitation with dad here and there when he can figure out how to do it without her infesting our lives with stress, drama, and negativity and without her using SO as a means to her own selfish ends. I know teenagers are not easy people to deal with, but, really? She's only 12. Shouldn't he have gotten at least two more years before she turned into the suck-beast?