Hello I am new here but SOOOO GLAD I found this:)
I am new to all of this but so Happy I found it. I have a 5 year old SD that Most of the time I cant stand. She is a only child that gets away with everything. She makes me so mad. I have been married for a little over 2 years now and just this past year things have been really bad. She get's me to the point that I feel like I just want to punch her in the face, }:) and kick her down the stairs.. }:) ..I mean I would NEVER do that I do love her but my god!!! I feel bad for feeling like that, I went to church today and i prayed and prayed that these feelings will go away. I have the grandmother , my husbands mom that lets her do what ever she wants, my husband that i have to constantly yell at to do something with his BRAT, corner time, spankings something. He dont do it so there for I have to lay down the law in my HOUSE. So now im the bad guy. She pockets food in her mouth will sit there in fronof the TV for like 2 hours not eating i have to yell at her at least 50 times to swallow her food and eat I shut off the TV but then that pisses the husband off. I go out alot when she is around. O god she throws fits I used to take her in the bathroom and give her a talking to but these days what is the use I am the one doing all the punishing and its BULL Sh#%.
I asked my husband for a divorce this morning Im not going to make him choose between me or his kid he can have her. I think I would be just fine being on my own. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! are things going to get worse??? go I hope not...O ya my husband wont give me a divorce. 
I guess that is a good ting I do love him a lot.....just some times I wish he Never had his kid. I know I should not think that way but I do and im not sorry about it.Well if you got any advice for me please let me know. there is so much more but I didnt want to over whelm any one 
- AshleyG's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
It sounds like the you & your
It sounds like the you & your DH need to sit down & have a serious discussion about acceptable behavior and dicsipline. Does your SD live with you?
It's not fair for you to be the "bad guy"...I've been thrown into that one & didn't appreciate it. We (SO & I) do our best to discuss things out of the Skids earshot & come up with who's going to deal with what as things come up...this ensures that we are BOTH fighting the same battles.
We don't eat in front of the TV...if SD7 insists on eating at a stupidly turtlesque rate, she ends up finishing her meal alone due to the fact that neither SO or I have the patience to sit with her for 1 hour plus while she takes bites consisting of 1 grain of rice at a time. My SO threw a fit about it when I first put this one into action. Also, I started taking snacks away from her if she was "not hungry" for meal times like she claimed.
Fits...that's an easy one...don't bother talking to her during these times...reiterate your answer, advise her you aren't going to change your mind then send her to her room (or the bathroom) until she can "compose" herself. Some kids take FOREVER to sort themselves out but that's OK. I just let them know that they can come out when they're done.
My MIL is also very lenient & spoils the Skids...she's doing better but when they return from visiting her house, SO & I know that we'll have to remind them of what's OK & what's not in our home...I understand how frustrating Grandma's can be though
I think you'll be beating your head against a wall though unless you & your SO are on the same page. Figure out which behavior you aren't willing to accept & let him know he HAS to step up & back you up...My SO & I have to reconfigure what we do often, just to ensure that we're on the same page about things.
Good luck!!
Is it her you really can't
Is it her you really can't stand, or the way she's being parented?
I have asked myself this about my own SDs in the past. I hated being around them, but they were only behaving based on what they were taught. That certainly wasn't much. I think kids sometimes know they should be acting better, but I also think that it is the job of a parent to make positive changes in how they parent so the kid will start acting better. How can we expect these kids to change their behaviors if their parents don't change how they parent these kids?
I think it's one thing for Grandma to spoil her grandkids but Dad shouldn't be doing it unless it's a holiday, birthday, or event celebrating an accomplishment of hers. It's a parent's job to prepare their kids for the real world. Going to Grandma's/spending time with her in some way should be a nice, fun break for the kids, who need to know that this is exactly that, a nice, fun *break*.
I think your DH really needs to get on board with some sort of agreement with you regarding the parenting of SD. Maybe that can be done with the help of a professional, neutral family counselor.She is really powerless in this situation. The person with the power here is DH. He center choose to make decisions that may be temporarily difficult for him but that will benefit SD (and you) in the long run, or he can let this spiral out of control, resulting in a bitter wife and out-of-control teenage daughter.
Welcome aboard, and keep venting and seeking advice here. It's a great place!
I am like you....I just found
I am like you....I just found this too...so far I love it... I am like some of the other people, we eat our meals together as a family when all the kids are around. I am lucky my husband does back up a lot of the rules...if the kids refuse to eat dinner or they are just taking forever we tell them they have 10 minutes to get done or they will not have anything else the rest of the night... if they do not eat a child porsion of food or they refuse to try the peas or whatever, then fine, done eat it....but no desert.. parents are so busy trying to win a popularity contest with their kids that they forget they still need manners and consideration for others and they need to learn to adapt to different places... otherwise, what kind of adults will they be?
Your DH and the granny are
Your DH and the granny are the problems. DH needs to step up to the parenting plate and give a little lecture to granny about spoiling. That it's doing a great disservice to SD!!
If your DH does not want to discipline and set boundaries, but on the other hand wants you to do all the grunt work of parenting, then you must disenegage. Of course he doesn't want a divorce b/c he gets to look like the GOOD guy wherein you are the scapegoat and disciplinarian. Plus you provide the maid, nanny, financial backing services as well! WHAT A DEAL for DH!!!
Check out this link:
http://www.steptogether.org/help.html