New Year brings a Family Court success story!
First of all, let me just thank all of you who posted on my prior blogs about the holidays for your support & advice. It really helped me get through those stressful weeks leading up to our court date.
Now for the good news! Our hearing to modify custody/current CO was yesterday & it worked out so well for us that DH was practically crying! Basically, we have been dealing with a very vague CO for the last 3 years that allowed BM to manipulate exchange times & locations, withhold visitation, ignore boundaries & wreak havoc on our family. No more! While we went to court to try to change custody to DH being primary (based on multiple counts of contempt by BM, child abuse charges on BM, DUI on BM, history of mental illness on BM, etc) we knew that probably wouldn't happen as we are in a very pro-BM state. But what we were hoping for & what happened was that the judge recognized what we were dealing with & ordered a change to the CO so that we basically NEVER have to see BM at exchanges again & put in place very firm, non-ambiguous dates, times, & locations for exchanges & visitation. He also changed our visitation schedule so that DH gets more time, more QUALITY time (ie weekends, holidays) & less driving!! It wasn't everything we had hoped for but it is still huge for us, especially as when we went to court ordered mediation a few months back, BM wasn't willing to negotiate at all, forcing us to go in front of a judge. Now all the things she refused to give us in mediation were granted to us in court & then some. BM would have been much better off settling in mediation as DH was giving up a lot there to get her to compromise. For instance, DH was giving BM EVERY Christmas, now we get every other Christmas. Woohoo! All she had to do was act like a normal human being & compromise, but nope - she wanted to control our lives & have face time with DH too badly to do that.
As for the juicy details in court, judge told both attorneys in chambers that he "could see this woman was going to be a problem for the next 13 years"!! Therefore he recommended the much tighter CO. BM had kept a smug smirk on her face the whole time, constantly looking over her shoulder to shoot me dirty looks, but when we reconvened so that the judge could read the new order into the record, she just looked down at her feet with such a pissed look on her face that I wanted to do a happy dance in court.
Because I was a witness, BM's attorney asked that I leave the courtroom (I knew this was going to happen, no big deal, I was happy to comply) but BM threw a look over her shoulder with a big smile like "haha, I won." Whatever bitch. Later, our attorney decided he wasn't going to use me since things were looking so good for us, so he had the bailiff tell me to come back into the courtroom (excellent move on his part - I love our attorney). When I entered, BM was testifying. She actually interrupted her attorney, pointed at me & asked "what's she doing here?" Her attorney was visibly perturbed & said "She's not testifying - their side is done. May I continue now?" Haha - not a good idea to interrupt & argue with your own attorney, dimwit!! Clearly, my presence rattled her & her testimony did not go well.
Then of course there were the multiple lies & BS that spewed out of BM's mouth, but the judge saw right through it, thank god. Plus we got all her dirty secrets exposed in court. It's a small town, so you can bet people will recognize her in the grocery as that lady who beats her daughter.
So, all in all, a good day for us. It's been crickets from BM & it will be months before we have to see her fugly face again! And the new CO starts this weekend, so DH gets SD for the WHOLE weekend (never happened before) so he's a happy camper.
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Comments
CONGRATULATIONS!
CONGRATULATIONS!
I'm so happy for you. I can
I'm so happy for you. I can only hope that our court case goes as well this month or next month (you know how that court calendar thing goes!) I'm really happy for you guys! It's great when a sick woman who just wants to inflict pain on someone she has perceived as "crossing her" is put in her place. The high road is always the best road to take; and it sounds like you personally are doing a wonderful job!
well with the judge saying
well with the judge saying that he can see her as a problem say a lot. and if you have to go in front of him again look out bm! Congrats!