Disengaged, as much as I can be but DH still doesn't realise that him treating SD16 as "poor baby" is not helping. As a matter of fact, she's using it to her advantage.

Last night SD16 asks me (nicely) to show her how to make jello for a school project. I know, its not that hard. So, I had her start the water, explained the instructions, etc. She needed to put some things in it so I explained that she needed to check it often to be sure the stuff doesn't just sink to the bottom. Here's the conversation that followed:
SD: Dad, remind me to check it.
DH: Hey, don't forget to check it (joking)
SD: No, seriously dad, remind me to check it.

What happens? DH takes it upon himself to stick it in the freezer, check it himself, etc. I was kind enough to check on it myself and it still had a long way to go. Well, about a half an hour or so later, DH "God dammit, "wifey" you let it set up too much."

I was pissed. I ran downstairs and asked why he thought it was my fault. He said it was because I didn't tell him that I checked on it (like it was my responsibility in the first place). I then told him that it was not my responsibility nor was it even my project in the first place. Then he thew out some line about me using every excuse not to help DH anymore. Then I told him that I would never help again, and I was serious. His response, with my 8 year old in hearing distance, "FUCK OFF THEN". Whoa!

So last night we talk and he seems perplexed as to why I am pissed. It is so disrespectful to talk to your spouse or anyone like that. Not only was I hurt but extremely disrespected.

Why will he not realise that SD is just taking advantage of him because she knows he will take over and do it for her. I refuse to let her walk all over me. Why does he not see this? And why is it my fault now that I have disengaged for this reason? Honestly, if he wants to be walked all over by SD, then he can do so but he needs to stop trying to make this my problem or my fault. I'm so sick of it.