O/T...sad news about a difficult man, my dad
So…my dad has had an off again/on again girlfriend for over 10 years. She is a very private person…I have only met her twice in all of the time they have been together…he claims that it’s because she’s shy but my sisters (2) & I think it’s because she just doesn’t like us. Honestly, none of us have ever even had the chance to be horrible & our parents have been divorced since FOREVER (25 years!) so I don't know why she would have an issue with us. He has 6 kids in total & we do make a lively bunch but other than that...I have no idea.
My relationship with my father has been difficult throughout the years, to say the least. He has been sober for 20+ years but still behaves like a dry-drunk on occasion. I believe that he also has some kind of mood disorder. He is a difficult man, for sure. He disowned me 5 years ago because he didn’t like my now XH…he started speaking to me 2 years later when X & I got divorced…I have tried to maintain a good relationship with him because he is the only dad I will ever have but he makes it really difficult for me.
My dad was diagnosed with tongue cancer last week…he told me that his GF was going to be with him every step of the way, making me feel like he doesn’t want me to go over there. He’s about 2 hours away from where I am, but I would have no issue making the trip…he knows it too.
I just don’t know what to think or how to feel at this point. He is really crappy at passing on truthful information (about anything, much less cancer!!!) & his GF won’t talk to me…I feel so lost.
I'm sorry that this is SOOOOOOOOOO O/T but this sucks!
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Comments
Be there for him. Even if he
Be there for him. Even if he makes it sound like it's no big deal if you are not. It will be important to you down the road to know you were there for him though this tough time.
Go there anyway. My dad had
Go there anyway. My dad had disowned my brother and when my dad was diagnosed with cancer it got real bad he ended up with a feeding tube and I was worried seriously worried we would lose him. I told my brother I thought dad was going to die, to come home, come see him regardless if the door was slammed in his face by our SM. He did and they patched up and our dad survived. If I hadn't made him come home they may still not be speaking, my parents may not know my nephew their grandson, but it took my brother coming home and being the adult and big enough to say "I'm here, I'm family, and I'm not letting you NOT accept my help." to get them there. You don't have to have a relationship with dad's gf, she doesn't have to have one with you, but just like strangers holding doors for one another and saying thank you neither of you should ignore common politeness.
Do what feels right for you.
Don't let the choices of others stop you from making your own.
Follow the golden rule.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses and thoughts. This is a scary situation for sure. I will be talking to him tomorrow...either way I will be there for him during this time.