mediation didn't help over custody battle.
Mediation was a mess. SS10 has been with us since the beginning of Oct. and BM just handed him over like it was nothing. no agreement, nothing, just on the word that she would see him every other sat and sun. it went fine til my fiance went for child support. then she wants him 50/50. in my personal opinion is it so she does not have to pay child support (or at least the full amount).
Long story short, my fiance offered every wed and every other weekend Friday, saturday, and sunday. She said NO WAY. oHHHH and she wants SS10 to go to counseling. (for what?????) he is a good kid with some listening issues, but that is her fault for not having rules in her house.
she plays these games with him, "don't you want to see me everyday" "I miss you, i love you" all while the water works are flowing!!!! SS says it really bothers him. he doesn't like when she tries to make him feel bad. We have told SS over and over, it is his decision on where he wants to live. We want him to be happy, shouldn't she feel the same way?
and for 50/50 she would pick him up at our house every day (on her weeks) after 6pm. his bed time in my house is b/w 9 and 9:30. I don't think this will be the best thing for SS. He needs stability and a routine. not flopping back and forth between houses.
what a mess and frustrating!!!!!
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Hon- that's a lot of
Hon- that's a lot of pressure to put on the kid, telling him he can choose. Kids internalize that stuff and take on the responsibility of protecting the feelings of everybody involved. I always told my son that the judge helps us come to an agreement about what's best for him.
Why can't 50/50 work? It's only 5 more days per month than dad's is already offering. And maybe if mom is playing those kinds of games, maybe counseling is exactly what would be helpful to kiddo right now.
"The beauty of life is, while we cannot undo what is done, we can see it, understand it, learn from it and change, So that every new moment is spent not in regret, guilt, fear or anger, but in wisdom, understanding, and love." -Jennifer Edwards
his bm gets mad when he says
his bm gets mad when he says he wants to stay with dad, and his dad says its up to you. not that he has to decide who he wants to live with, we are trying to tell him that either one is okay with us. we won't be mad at him if he wants to be with his mom 1/2 the time. I am SOOOOO for having him see his mother. and i am being selfish in the whole thing, b/c 50/50 will change mine and my BS routine.
i feel that counseling might help him, but his father is dead against it.
maybe the court will say he has to go. who knows?!?! it just blows my mind that it has to come down to a judge making a decision about a child and situation they know nothing about. My BS and my ex had it worked out great, and i wish these two could just get on board. this is about the child, not them.