Hi All, New and Coming from the DARK SIDE!!
Hi,
I've posted some comments on other peoples blogs (no offensive comments I hope!! :? ) and figured that I should probably introduce myself and let you all get to know me and where I'm coming from.
First thing is that I'm not a step-mum (or mom as you guys in America spell it). I'm a bio-mum with a 4yo. I must admit that the first time I cam across this site was about 12 months ago and I was SHOCKED I was looking for a supportive place for my partner to come and talk about his experiences as a Step-dad but found allot of GGRRRRR stuff (please keep reading it gets better!!). I found that it was a little like a car wreck and I came back again and again out of curiosity, started reading backlogs of your stories and started to get a good idea of WHY there was so much GRRR going on!!
I would like to say that I hope that if I act like ALLOT of the bio-mums that you guys have to deal with even once that someone tells me to pull my head out of my ass!! In the time since I first discovered the site I feel I've gotten to know some of you, I cheered when Cruella got to adopt her kids (and I love the frypan!!) and again when October8 left her hubby (in fact I think I cried a little in relief) and have seen the trouble makers come and go and I promise I'm not here to criticise, blame or be a biatch!!
I'm also hoping that reading your stories will help me to be better about dealing with my own step-mum (who by the way I already think is a complete love) and my step-siblings who are amazing little guys and gals. I know now that there have been some things that I've done in the past, completely unintentionally that may have hurt her feelings but she has always been good to my sisters and I. She's more like a friend than a mum because she came into the picture quite late (I was 21 and out of home) and I respect her POV and opinion. I can tell you now that hearing about your adult step kids makes me wanna fly over some times and flick them in the nose and tell them to pull their heads in!
But the reason why I've finally decided to join is I suppose to get the devils advocate POV with our situation with my sons bio-dad (btw I didn't capitalise that on purpose). He has showed signs since I got pregnant that he may not be the best person to help me bring up this little guy, he was very uninvolved with the pregnancy and during my labor he basically was uncontactable and then once we did get him to the hospital just laid on the bed next to me and stared at me!! GRRR.
After we moved into the house we had built together I kicked his butt out after 6 weeks because he quit ANOTHER job without one to go to and I didn't want to have him sponging off me again for the next 6 months (at this stage my son was 6 months old and I'd already been working since he was 3 1/2 months old) he ended up paying bare minimum in child support, and not helping with mortgage or rates etc all the while bragging about how much better off he was now he had left, I let him move back in about 12 months later because he had nowhere else to go and was being kicked out by a friend of his, it was strictly a room-mates relationship, win win, he gets a roof over his head (master bed with ensuite and his own lounge) and I get some money to help with the mortgage,while in that situation he lived like a pig in his own section of the house, and I mean it was disgusting - rotting food left in containers ALL over the place etc. It got so bad that the smell was seeping out into the main area of the house through the closed door. I thought I'd let some potatoes get pushed to the back of the cupboard or something!!
I started dating my partner a few months later, he was very understanding of the situation and we were REALLY careful even though my son was young (2yo) that we either went out for dinner or I would stay at his place or he would stay over but come after my son was in bed and leave before he got up. My ex spit the dummy and wouldn't "babysit" so that I could go on a date (he wouldn't mind LO in the mornings or overnight so I was pretty much still a single mum, he could just see him when convenient which usually meant for a couple of hours before he went to work on the weekends), so my sister would come and babysit for me.
Then my partner and I got serious, there was talk of an engagement (which has since happened) and a long term future, my partner works in hospitality and so we knew we'd have to move, possibly interstate eventually. I brought this up with the ex and he seemed fine at the time, then about a week later started threatening suicide etc, he blamed it on us moving, which was not even in the works at that stage, I had mentioned it to give him an advanced heads up that it could happen!! After that he moved over 6 hours away from us by his own choice :?, and because we were doing reasonably well and we figured he would be unemployed for a few months (given his history) we said that until he got on his feet we didn't expect any maintenance. All was well for a while, he came and went, visited BS etc.
We've had a few spats just in relation to him being ignorant, like bragging to us about drinking Moet and how expensive and exclusive it was and then getting bent out of shape when we pointed out a bottle we had been given as a gift by one of DPs friends sitting on the cupboard }:)(we can't afford it ourselves but it was an engagement gift).
When we had to move interstate biodad's first question was if he would get a payout from the house seeing as we were moving and that if not then he would challenge for custody (I had been trying to get another loan to pay him out since he'd moved the first time but couldn't get approved due to not earning quite enough and the maintenance that I was recieving at first being sporadic at best, and the non-existent). We agreed on a payment of $50k which my lawyer was aghast at because I've been paying for the house by myself since 6 weeks after we moved in, and I provided all of the deposits for etc, his name is on the deed so he's entitled to something but not that much. But I saw it as a downpayment on being able to take BS with me. Since we agreed to the figure he has been fine with us going, so far he has recieved $20k of the money we owe him with the remainder due when we sell the house as per the written agreement. He called when the paperwork went through in December and basically crowed at me that we had a week to pay him the first installment "or else". Since we moved I have started claiming maintenance (first time in almost 3 years btw) which he is doing his best to avoid paying, first the payment he made "bounced", then the agency that we are going through (govt agency set up for this) screwed up the payment etc etc. Oh and the money we gave him, is already all gone and he's started asking over the next lot.
He barely talks to our little guy, not through me blocking (I have always done everything I can to encourage contact) but rather through laziness, he will talk for 5 minutes on the phone and then ask BS to give the phone back to Mum, this happens about once a fortnight. Most recently he called and told me that he would be going back to school mid-year and that the CSA (child support agency) would "cut me off", I'm assuming that this is the next phase in his brilliant plan to get out of paying child support.
My partner and I both wish that we could move home to a certain extent, we would like to be closer to our families and to be truthful we would like for BS to have more contact with his dad. We worry that he's not a great influence (his most famous statement to date is that he will teach BS when he's older how to take drugs "responsibly":jawdrop:) but we figure that he has a right to be involved in BS's life, I just wish that he would grow up a little and stop with the drinking and drugs.
So anyway if you've gotten through my novel 
and are still reading THANK YOU. Please know that I'm not here to cause issues. I'm not here as a representative of the enemy but rather so that I can be better at dealing with the ex. I figure that if anyone can give me a kick up the ass when I need it you guys would be capable, just as much as I hope that when he's acting like an ass and I'm beginning to doubt myself that you guys can confirm it for me, from a reasonable outsiders perspective.
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Comments
First I would like to say,
First I would like to say, Welcome. You don't sound psycho - but your ex seems to have all kinds of issues. How does your new DH feel about this? I do have a question about child support - if you don't mind me asking - (or any of us) - what does he give you a month for one child? And if he doesn't want to pay - he should just sign the child over, right? Give up his rights as his father. Is it you he wants to hang on to - or the child? I think child support NEEDS to be reasonable - as you will learn on this site that most of us as Stepmoms get screwed because the BM's take our DH's for everything they have -- leaving them nothing. Barely enough to feed the kids just on the weekends when we have them. Then the BM's have the nerve to call and ask for MORE money - yet they are somehow getting their hair and nails done while we look like crap because we are spending our money trying to HELP support the kids...most of them don't work or just work part-time, because they think only DH should have to work - and then because our DH's have to work 50 hours a week in order to pay the obsurd amount of child support (that basically says only the father has to financially support the children) - the BM will turn around and say they don't spend enough time with the kids and the weekends are not enough - crazy ladies - I have an idea - how about our DH's just go on welfare? Then they can spend all the real time they do want with the kids - instead of making money for you to blow...yes - that was a rant - and these are the things you should prepare yourself for on this site. hahaha.
I truly enjoyed your post,
I truly enjoyed your post, even though you can probably tell I am not a big bio-mom fan...
From my point of view your ex does sound lazy, does sound immature, etc...but as you also said, it's your son's dad and he should have some contact. Yes, he is ALL of those things, but I doubt he became these things after you had your child...therefore, your son has been dealt the cards that you also played...not just him. With that said, I believe that both parents should support a child, including the mother (which it seems you have no problem doing unlike other bms), BUT we also have to consider if the strain on the relationship between you, your ex and your son is worth whatever money he can give you. If the child support is not reasonable, then I think you need to make sure that what is being asked is reasonable...second, by going through the government, usually the amounts are not reasonable, and it also messes up the credit of the obligor, etc...if anything were to happen to him...whether voluntarily or not. So consider those things first. Now if the amount is 50USD a month, and he can't even do that, then maybe it's not worth your time and energy to worry and strain the relationship between dad and kiddo for that amount of money either. It sounds like a no win situation, doesn't it? It might be, but again, it is only the result of sleeping with man who was irresponsible all along. Now, where is your payoff you might ask? It is the fact that your child can never say to you "because of you I had no relationship with my father"...at the appropriate time, ie. when he's an adult he will also say, "wow, my mom and stepdad supported me while my dad didn't give me a dime to eat"...and thus their relationship at that time might become somewhat different, but you will no longer be liable for that.
As far as the 20K, believe me I understand how unfair that might be...been w/someone who paid so much in cs that all the accounts, bills, etc...had to be under my name...my stupidity and my child has suffered from it as well...HOWEVER, that 20K was his money to spend as he saw fit...Just like the money that you have invested in your house, or the money that you get when you sell the house...not the courts, nor the ex can tell you "that money you spend on the house you should spend it on your son, instead of buying a bigger house with your new bf"...therefore, I would not even mention that at all. It's different when you give CS to someone to spend on YOUR CHILD and they turn around and spend it on nails, but that money was his investment in the house (or at least what was agreed upon)...
As far as him talking to your little guy, my DH can be a great dad when I push him, but for years I have to remind him to TALK to our kiddo...because he might play frisbee with him without literally saying a word to him, I might go out to the store and come back and all they've done is sit and watch tv together, no real interaction or talking, etc...Yes, it's wrong, and believe me it ticks me off...at the same time, as I now know how uninvolved his stepfather was (he had no contact w/his biodad because of his mother and stepfather PROHIBITING IT), then I realize that is all he knows...so it's just a learning experience...What works w/my DH is when I tell him, "wow, our kiddo really admires you...it's so cute as he constantly talks about you and dresses up and says he looks just like you or how he can't wait for you to come home, etc..." it makes my DH feel good and in return, he spends even more time with him and does even more things with him...
Good luck to you...and your kiddo and even your EX...hehe...and just make sure that you and your bf allow him to have a relationship with his bio-dad...in the end, he will thank you for it and will see for himself what he is...but he deserves that right...
Thank you guys very much for
Thank you guys very much for replying!!
My new DP is VERY understanding, he is happy to support my son and sees him as his own (we were pretty sure that he couldn't have kids of his own so BS is considered to be a HUGE blessing by him, and his family). He takes a back-seat to my dealings with BD and only gives an opinion when I'm either in tears or when I ask. He really is wonderful and my son refers to him as "My best mate".
Ex won't give up his rights to BS. In his own way he really does want to be a good Dad, but his Mum is FUBAR and so the relationships that she modelled for him weren't exactly healthy. I understand this and so I give him allot of leeway regarding how he acts but there have been quite a few times that he has stepped over the line!
My partner and I are very active in helping BS have a relationship with his BD, and we are VERY careful not to infringe upon it (my partner isn't Dad in any way, he is G***** - his first name, and they are mates). We both have our doubts about his character but he is Dad to my son and that's a relationship that's important to a little boy! Even if just for my sons sake I'm not interested in severing that relationship, it doesn't matter how batty he drives me, just so long as BS is getting something positive out of the relationship I will perservere. We encourage him to call, we send pics to BD, we do our best to be positive about his dad (although sometimes the best i can manage is to be neutral), I have NEVER stood in the way of visitation, and have rearranged my work schedule to fit in with what BD requested (cutting a work day by 1/2 by talking to my boss THAT MORNING, and I did this repeatedly etc) or by getting my sister to do a pickup from him if she wasn't working.
Herewegoagain you're right in that I chose to marry the man, and to have a child with him (much to my parents horror, which at the time i think was part of the attraction! Oops!) and so I know I'm responsible for the fact that my BS's BD is an idiot. My defence though is probably the same as allot of the SO's on this site, I was young, and stupid and incredibly nieve and he snowed me. We were married within 5 1/2 months of him moving to town (after talking on the net for 3 months) and I was pregnant less than two years after that, still long enough to realise that I shouldn't be having kids with him granted, but short enough for me to still believe that he could change his ways (note to self that generally doesn't happen!). I found out later in the piece that allot of what he had told me was a complete fabrication and that I didn't really know him at all.
The reason why the $20k came to mind for me is because he didn't invest a dime in the house outside of 1/2 of 6 weeks worth of loan repayments (which at that stage would have been about $540 (deposit - me, repayments since - me, rates - me), trust me I know it's his money from the house (man I wish I could get that kind of a return on my money!), that I have no claim on it - my call of unfair comes from him knowing since before he got the money (2 months before to be exact so plenty of time for him to SAVE the money from his pay) that he was expected to start paying child support, this wasn't something that was sprung on him, he has known for MONTHS yet he couldn't put aside $135 from $20k to pay a month's worth of support when it came due, ever since he's been hashing about paying. I'm not asking for an extraordinary amount of money. The terms probably sound different to you guys, I forget that your minimum wage takes into account tipping etc so it's really low but that doesn't happen here (I'm in Australia) the child support amount is set here using a calculator that the govt provides and takes into account other kids from the payee, incomes of both parties but NOT step parents etc, his rate for 1 child is approximately 1/14th of his take home pay, so about 7.5% (if my calculations are correct). And we haven't seen a cent from the house, it hasn't sold yet, the 20K came from DP selling his house so that we could pay him so that he would let us move - that was his sole condition for the move that he get payment for the house, nothing to do with BS. Don't get me wrong when our house does sell we will get a nice payday but that money will be going into savings so that we don't NEED money from him EVER again. My ultimate aim is to have any money he does pay put directly into BS bank acct. We were adding $40 pw (so more than we get in CS now) before we moved but since then we've had to stop that altogether, I'm looking forward to starting that up again.
The system here seems to be fairer than the American system. I don't want to bankrupt him, and up until now we have taken the high road, I didn't need the money because I earned a great wage, but even then I can count on 2 hands the number of new clothes that I bought in the 2 years or so that he didn't pay a dime (with a mortgage, child care etc), but every time he came for visitation (about once a month, which was ENTIRELY his choice) he was wearing new clothes, new shoes, had a new bag or a new phone. I didn't resent it at the time because i figured he needed the clothes etc and he would pay us when he could but because I'm now a SAHM we do NEED the money to help out, not with clothes for me (although some new shoes for BS would be nice) but with bills etc. And next financial year the amount that he has to pay will drop because I chose to become a SAHM which I'm perfectly fine with as well but my POV is that we tried being nice, we tried saying do it when you can and just give us what you can and it didn't work, he took complete advantage (he would actually brag to me when he dropped BS off about the $60 bottle of burbon he had in his bag that he was going to take to a party that night, it just happened to be a coincidence that EVERY time he came up for visitation there just happened to be a party either the night before or the following night...).
Not only that but now he's trying to do it again. I got a call a few days ago from him saying that he was going back to school mid-year which I was genuinely happy about, I'm all for improving your prospects etc. But in the next sentence he said that he would be deliberately earning under the govt's appointed self-support limit (and living off the profits from his share of the house, the followup $30k) and so "CSA will cut you off" and so DP and I should "consider" going back onto a private agreement with him - which basically means that I tell the department to back off, they close their file and all backdated CS that he owes is forgotten (which at the moment is nnominal due to us only filing a couple of months ago, but mounting slowly due to him not paying) and they no longer enforce collection so if he doesn't want to pay, he doesn't have to (and if I want to go back to enforced collections I have to re-apply and they will only backdate payments for 3 months MAX). I don't want to bankrupt him, I don't even want him to be uncomfortable, I just want him to live up to his responsibilities, the minimum that he will have to pay is $6.50 per week, if he goes back to school. THAT'S it, but he's scheming to get out of paying even that.
Sorry that got a bit ranty there didn't it.... :)I guess part of me venting here is that I feel like some of you guys in that my BD is a PITA. He does fruitloopy things (at one stage he was going to use the money to buy a big plot of land in the middle of Western Australia - which if you've ever been there is basically dust - and start a seed bank and learn to make bows and arrows and hunt things because he was determined that a meteor was going to hit the earth and a huge tidal wave is going to obliterate anyone near the coast, I kid you not this is REALLY what he was going to do!)and can act like an ass. The only thing is that I don't have the ONE advantage that allot of you guys have - I can't say that I didn't marry it so it's not my problem - that right belongs to DP.
Hey! I like your rant,
Hey! I like your rant, that's what this place is for...you ranted, I replied...hehe...you ranted again, I reply again...no offense I hope either way...Believe me I understand what you are saying to a great extent, wow, it would be great to be able to make some of these idiots understand reality and fairness, but I just do not feel like it's worth it...now if you lived on your own, had a min wage job & or were sick, I'd say teach him a lesson, but that's not the case...so I honestly still believe that although he is an idiot in many ways, he is the idiot you had a child with...which means, no, you couldn't change him WHILE you were married, but someone STILL are trying to change him AFTER...does that make sense? He's not going to change, and you attempting to get the courts MAKE HIM change is STILL not going to change him...what it WILL do is get him out of your child's life...and I do believe that is a bigger issue than the money or teaching him a lesson...in the end, again, your BS will thank you for it, will see what YOU and your new BF have done for him and that will do wonders for his self-esteem vs. trying to teach the crazy ex a lesson and him disappearing to avoid having to pay...
You are saying EXACTLY what
You are saying EXACTLY what my Mum, Dad, StepMum and DP say!! No point in trying to change him it won't work. He will never WANT to help!
It sounds to me as though
It sounds to me as though your ex is emotionally blackmailing you to get what he wants.
http://www.angelfire.com/biz/BPD/blackmail.html
Document EVERYTHING, especially when he says that he'll remain deliberately underemployed to get out of paying CS. Try to make him email you as much as possible so you have everything on record. Do you have a legal agreement with him? If not, I would suggest getting one. What kind of visitation does he have?
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
He's trying his best at
He's trying his best at blackmail. We know what he's up to because he's done it before (used to tell me when we first broke up that he would "force" me to sell the house if I made him pay CS). And so before we moved we went to the lawyer and got the paperwork drawn up which basically lays out what is expected of both of us, he gets $50k from the house, we get the rest, we have BS living with us but must keep him updated etc. I presently keep a diary of all contact, SMS msgs, phone calls emails etc (I learned that from here!!). I also called CSA to enquire about the cutting me off thing (i've found the best way to stop him pulling stuff is to be informed) so they have a record of that conversation.
He has visitation as and when agreed between us. But I have NEVER and will NEVER stand in the way of him seeing BS - I don't care how far behind in CS he is, that's between me and him and doesn't involve BS in any way. He wanted it worded that way so that there would be no set schedule. Even when we were literally living 15 minutes apart (he moved back to town after being away) he would come to see BS MAYBE once every 3 weeks. Even then it wasn't regular.
I would love to hear ALL of
I would love to hear ALL of your opinions about my situation. I sometimes feel lost, and until I found this site (today) I was in desperation, as I have been searching for answers for about 3 years - please see my post below (my first one on this site).
I should probably start by saying I just signed up for this today. I feel a little uneasy about posting, and unsure about etiquette, but here we go. Forgive me if I am all over the place.
I have a BF who has a daughter 16. We have been living together for about 2 1/2 years, but there are still some erks. He has done a great job raising her on his own - BM bailed when she was less than a year old. She has had some contact with her growing up, but that has halted in the last couple of years due to the BM remarrying (2x) without even letting my SD know until afterwards (Facebook posting). Obvious woman issues here. He has raised her to be very intellegent and focused on school, and she excels all of the time.
At the beginning I found myself (and sometimes now) trying to buy her affection, and buy myself into the family. She is now 16, and is growing up quickly. At the beginning she would (and maybe still does) go into our bedroom and take my stuff without asking (woman products, razors, etc) which was extremely exhausting! I was used to my own space, my own things, and no invasion of privacy. That has ended for the most part, and she asks for things now.
We had boy issues in the beginning (and still now somewhat) and there were times when I felt really close to her. I always had to deal with my fathers gfs growing up, and I know how hard it can be to live with one (let alone one that doesn't want to be a part of your life) so I tried (and try) to make it very comfortable for her. I am super close to my nieces (no children of my own) but I love being a part of their life, and wanted to share that kind of bond (maybe closer) with my SD.
There have been shopping days and fun girl days occasionally. She mostly has been in her room, with the exception of the dance in front of the bedroom door when she needed a ride somewhere, or the appearance for food/drink. There have been occasions where I have been able to express that I love her, but very few and far between. I don't want to overstep mothers boundaries or make her uncomfortable by pushing myself on her, but I would love to have a closer relationship.
My BF has gotten any/all affection from her, which I guess is normal. She totally has issues with women due to the shortcomings of the BM. I continue to try to find my place in her life, but have somewhat given up on pushing so hard.
She's now 16 and driving. She has a bf, and to our surprise is now sexually active. She was very honest with her father (as she has been her entire life) and we addressed the situation accordingly. I know (and we all know) you can't stop this stuff, you just have to help prepare them for the consequences as best as possible. She seems to appear to be okay with me in the house now, and we all have dinner every night with each other during the week, and partake in the nightly Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.
Her father brought up the possibility of marrying me in a conversation between the two of them, and apparently it sent her into tears. She doesn't want to "share him" with anyone "not just" me. Of course talking about this, sent me into tears. How could she be so ungrateful of how close I am to her and the things I do - especially when she has no other female figure even remotely close.
Worst thing is that we never talk about these things together. I think the only family talk we have had is when she had boy problems at 13, and the occasional light-hearted talks at dinner (where she reveals almost nothing without a purpose). He always talks to her and says it's best because maybe she feels like she can't say things around me and hurt my feelings. I feel the opposite, that by not being able to say things to me, it hurts my feelings more.
So back to the marriage issue - I am now (as I have briefly throughout the relationship) having thoughts that this will not work out. I crave a close relationship like I have with my nieces, and I don't see it happening. I constantly feel like it's either "SD and BF" or "me and BF" and there is little "family" in there. Don't get me wrong, I am totally laid back and not pushy with this - I only struggle internally. I am young, and maybe he's just too old for what I want, right? But what to do when you feel such a strong connection? Or maybe I should just enjoy the now, right?
I know she will be off to college soon and is becoming independent and will be out of the picture, but I always struggle with the day to day now. I really don't want to be someone she is nice to but hates behind my back. I don't want to be someone she tolerates but really despises.
The two of them don't really spend much time together - on her account not his. But it also seems like she is made because "they never spend time together" but she is never home or never wants to come downstairs. Of course he spoils her to compensate for not having her mother, but she also does well in school, so some of it she really deserves. She takes him for granted sometimes, and is very selfish in that she doesn't want to "share him with anyone" yet she is off dating and having sex with her boyfriend. She really expects him to sit at home and wait for her to come home, just so she can hug him and go in her room. It's frustrating! He sometimes asks her about these things, and then they get brushed under the rug.
She has had some issues with lying and seeing boys, or lying about other issues, which he briefly punishes for, and gets over it. She is very helpless, and has only been doing chores since I moved in (all she does is vacuum and dishes). These are all normal (i guess) and I just deal with it. I usually just try to be there for guidance (without lecturing or talking down) and there as an extra set of ears to give a different perspective.
She is really close with her BFs mom now (probably due to Mom issues) and I am jealous. I am also wanting more of a family with us 3, but I may be asking too much. He works like crazy to support her habits (and our new house) and I work hard and am putting myself through another degree in college.
I am kind of all over the place, but I need someones take on all of this. I guess I am unloading 3 years of pent up feelings about it all - wish I found this site sooner.
I guess I am asking if these are normal feelings. I see a lot of angry step-parents on here, and that is not me. She is overall a great kid, and I really want to improve our family and bring us together. I am not overly smothering or anything - I just don't want there to be a divide. Naturally she will be tied to him with a much stronger bond. I just want to stop the feeling of the two pairs (her/him and me/him) instead of the group of 3 as a family.
Uhh, you could have just
Uhh, you could have just linked us to it... No need to hi-jack someone else's post with an issue they need help on...
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.
I don't know how or what it
I don't know how or what it is to link in. I wanted to have her opinion as a BM. I even admitted I didn't know the etiquette.
I'm not being bitchy, I know
I'm not being bitchy, I know you didn't know :). But when you post such a long comment in someone else's blog, it makes people see all that typing and not want to read it.
Just copy and paste the URL into the message portion.
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.
I apologize - Just looking
I apologize - Just looking for a little patience as I learn my way around this stuff.
Honey, we are stepmothers.
Honey, we are stepmothers. All we have is patience. LOL... Welcome!!!
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.
::giggles:: Can I clobber
::giggles::
Can I clobber my SIL's too?
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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.
LOL I Like it!!
LOL I Like it!!