My chest got a little less tight and now I might actually be able to breathe
So I think my S-O FINALLY gets it. I am so frustrated with her and her ex's habits of ignoring their oldests grades. SS15 has 5 D's and 1 B+. And now after all this time they are finally seeing that there is a problem. This is his 2nd year in high school and he is already on track NOT to graduate on time because there isn't enough summer school left for him to make up his F's.
So after all my pleading for them to take action and them looking at me like I'm an idiot they are finally waking up and giving this kid some friggen consequences. He's been lying (but if I say that I'm an asshole of course...however now that they see it with their own eyes its a HUGE problem...HELLO ITS BEEN HAPPENING FOR 3 YEARS!), he hasn't done any friggen homework/classwork in 3 months. And now the shit is hitting the fan for him and truthfully I feel like I'm watching a witch burn at the stake...and I don't feel bad about it. I'm loving it! (Is that wrong?) This kid needs some serious correction. Correction that I desperately wished I COULD provide because I felt like someone had to do something....but I waited and waited. Truthfully the damage is probably already done though. The kid has shit habits, doesn't bathe, doesn't wear the deoderant he begged us to buy for him because he saw a fucking commercial on TV. Doesn't eat anything we cook because he's the pickiest eater in the fucking universe.
People don't believe me but I have this nice little crystal ball in my head that tells me things...and it's never wrong. And when I told my SO about the writing on the wall she just thought I was a jerk and "didn't love/care about" the skids. Bullshit! If I didn't care I wouldn't say anything! But do I get credit for any of this? Do I get an acknowledgement that they should have done something months ago when I told them to? NO. But I am happy to see something starting. I just hope they don't give in and take the punishment away after a day like they normally do.
Their youngest isn't far behind...SD10 is lying and hiding her HW and not doing it already either. AH!!!! All in time I guess. But it's just sad to watch these two get swept up in a hurricane of shit parenting.
SKIDs...can't live with em...not allowed to live without them.
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Comments
In instances like yours you
In instances like yours you speak your peace once and then let the card fall where the bio parents let them. You can't control it, you can't fix it. It is the shittiest place to be in and be able to see exactly where the train wreck is going to happen but can't stop it. Just make sure it is known that once the kids are 18 and their 1st Senior year is over, they can't live at home with you!!
See...that sounds good in
See...that sounds good in theory but...I'm the guy in this relationship and lets be honest...I am not going to be able to tell her to kick her kids out of my house. She's already made it clear "I'll never choose you over my kids".
Yes you can. Absolutely get
Yes you can. Absolutely get rid of deadbeats as soon as possible. As for the you over my children BS- she chose you above all others in your vows when you married. You aren't kicking out children, you would be making adults grow up! My kids already at 6 & 8 years old know that when they get out of HS they have 2 options-- A) College/Trade school full time and work part time
Move out.
Yep. If the parents don't
Yep. If the parents don't care and won't do anything, you can't care or do anything. If the kid doesn't care, you can't force her to.
I get this ALL.THE.TIME.....I
I get this ALL.THE.TIME.....I sooooo get where you are coming from, Andrew.
My crystal ball is also amazingly accurate, which my SO does not appreciate one tiny bit. I SEE these things unfolding and try to forewarn him, usually to no avail. I'm just "being negative" or "picking on his kids" or "I don't like his kids." ARRRRRGH....it is frustrating.
It is so HARD to sit back and watch a train wreck in progress, knowing that you could help prevent it if they would JUST LISTEN once in a while and quit being so damn defensive any time the topic of the skids come up!!!
Sigh....
Glad you relate to
Glad you relate to this...makes me feel like I'm not alone or crazy.