Just a little background, I was raised by two very hardworking parents. I didn’t grow up rich, but always had whatever I needed and a lot of what I wanted. They really pushed getting good grades in school and instilled a lot of morals in me and my siblings. Fast forward to years later, I’m 23 and my parents are still the first people I run to when I’m in need of advice. My husband, on the other hand, was raised by a single mom who lived off of the government her whole life, raised in poverty, and basically looked up to him to be the man of the house as he’s the oldest of his siblings. I feel like the culture difference has caused some complications in our marriage. As previously stated in my other posts, he doesn’t do the best job at disciplining his son (clearly something he didn’t learn as a child) and he has issues setting proper boundaries in general. My mother in law is a fifty year old woman with no husband, boyfriend, friends, nothing. She comes to our house to hang out - which is actually sad. But fine, she’s a nice person so I could maybe deal with the excessive company. But it doesn’t stop there. She comes over unannounced, walks into the house (if it’s unlocked) or bangs the door down at any time then gets mad if we don’t answer it immediately. She is constantly asking for favors, literally asks my husband for “a few dollars” EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SEE HER. She eats our food, or ask so us to buy food. She has no car so is always asking to borrow my husbands or have him take her here or there. Now she has two other kids but all of the pressure is put on my husband because she helps out with their son A LOT. That’s one great thing about her is that she’s a great grandma. So I’m assuming my husband feels like he owes her in some ways. Now to get to the unstable part: A few years ago before my husband and I were married, she expressed that she didn’t think I was the one for him. When he asked her why she said that she thinks that I secretly know his BM and have been plotting against him for years. (Crazy, I know) Where did this theory come from? She found my SS’s leap frog in my trunk after they had been looking for it for months. She said that she knew she gave it back to BM. Literally delusional. I left my husband for a while after that and told him I wouldn’t return until he instilled proper boundaries. So, things got better as far as she never spoke on my relationship ever again. But still, the amount of time she spends with us and the constant reliance on us for friendship, company, finances, etc is just simply draining. My husband says she’s not completely well because of her depression and lack of relationships so she needs him to be a little more attentive than my parents need me to be. Would you consider this behavior that she displays to be normal by any means? If not, how can I make changes that doesn’t disrupt the family dynamic that they’ve already built?