how do you know when you've had enough?
I'm tired of feeling angry, irritible, and resentful all the time. I've been going to individual counseling. My BF and I have been talking about things...we've talked about going back to couple's counseling but I feel like I need to decide whether I want this relationship before we go back.
I'm trying, and my BF says he is too...although he says he thinks he can fix things then says "maybe it won't be enough" "I can't just change things (his parenting of SD) overnight" "SD is my top priority".
Has anyone just gotten to the point of just not wanting to try anymore out of simple fatigue? To just be free of feeling constantly frustrated and discouraged?
My feelings are partly d/t a situation that hasn't changed and also d/t a never ending internal monologue in my head regarding the situation.
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I am also working on
I am also working on boundaries...with people in general. I've had a hard time saying no to people in the past...it's played a part in the failure of this relationship and my exH. I am also working on trying to listen/heed my gut...as an adult child of an alcoholic, that is easier said than done.
Yes, I feel my health must be affected in some way given the level of irritation I feel 90% of the time...I wake up with an adrenaline rush at night...I wonder if I am having panic attacks.
I am living on my own so my finances are separate...however, I lost my job in Jan. and it has really added to my stress...
We are kindreds here. I am a
We are kindreds here. I am a poor boundary setter myself. I think...
That if you love him you should go to counseling with him. I would ask you do it for me, for the sadness I feel that my own STBX refused such.
It may not save your relationship, it may even bring you clarity on whether or not to save it.
But it is a good tool to use to find out, and will at least honor the relationship.
A man who is willing and ready to go to counseling with you is a man worth considering from where I sit today.
Hugs.
Sita, we did go to couples
Sita, we did go to couples counseling. I do love him but I don't know how I can ever be happy living with SD again. I am stuck in the past -- stuck back in my mind how things were when we were living together and we were miserable. I can't believe the dynamic with BF and SD has changed in six months...not when they've been at play for many years now.
I guess I could try again though. We are thinking about it. I just feel very pessimistic about the future. I can't see things changing enough with BM and SD and finances to be at peace.
I just am in a place right
I just am in a place right now where I wish everyone would slow down and not walk away so fast.
If you have tried to talk to him about your feelings, if you have told him you aren't sure you can stay married if she comes back, etc...
Tried counseling already, then you've done far more than my H did to let me know he was thinking we wouldn't make it.
It's as though he wanted the choice to be his all along so much, that he didn't want to tip his hand and give ME a choice of working things out or ending it.
That's how I feel on this end. If you have been communicating your feelings and setting boundaries and he isn't honoring them, that's different than my situation.
Don't stay where it's unhealthy for you. Perhaps I should have been better at setting my own boundaries.
For me, I know I've had
For me, I know I've had enough when I find myself crying for H less and less. When we have a heart to heart and I don't have a few tears of love,sadness,anger,frustration...then I know I'm done. I'm a sensitive person and will have a few tears over happiness,sadness,frustration,love...
I know that I've hardened myself to the point when tears aren't falling for ANY reason and if my tears don't come, he isn't in my heart anymore.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Are you going to be able to
Are you going to be able to turn that numb feeling around and go back to feeling things the way you used to? If you can't...that means you've had enough and it's time to think about your future plans. (((((rixchick)))))
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin