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Regrets from leaving?

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 8:47pm

Just wondering if anyone had regrets when they've left a relationship. I've only left a few, and no regrets, well, except for some nostalgia from my divorce d/t growing up with my ex and having my kids. Still, I know we're not a great match.

It's hard to reconcile loving someone and not being able to have a life with them...

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AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 9:04pm

Btw, I mean any relationships, not just step relationships...thanks.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 11/27/2010 - 10:13pm

I regret the end of my first marriage but I do not regret the end of the relationship with my XW. I did not marry to divorce. She was adulterous for most of our marriage and was surprisingly devoid of any redeeming character. My family loved her, her family were incredible. She was not what she presented herself to be while we were dating and engaged. Because of her issues I have no real regrets over the end of my time with her.

I do not regret the end of relationships that I have had. Every end was followed by a better relationship with someone with many of the last relationship's best qualities and many that were wonderful and unique.

The journey ultimately led me to my wife. An amazing, beautiful, intelligent, loving woman of impeccable character.

My only true regret is that she is not my first and only wife.

mom2five's picture

Submitted by mom2five on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 8:43am

I regret that I had to divorce my ex-husband. But I don't regret divorcing him, if that makes sense. I wish my kids hadn't had to go through the pain of divorce. I wish they could have grown up in a healthy, un-broken family. And I regret the pain in caused everyone.

But he was abusive. I had very little choice in the matter.

AlexandraL's picture

Submitted by AlexandraL on Sun, 11/28/2010 - 2:11pm

Hi Fabumom,

I told you in another blog I feel like you...I suppose that is why I am posting this question because my experience with my divorce is an anomaly also. My life situation has been exactly like yours. The thing a friend mentioned recently though, is that of course there will be some regret if you had a half way decent marriage with kids. I feel regret re my divorce, but I didn't feel regret until I realized that the blended family I had with my BF was less than my family life with my ex. All the gains I made in a partner were countered by the shit of SD, BM, and MIL. It caused me to reflect on my marriage and caused me to feel regret but the funny thing is I never felt regret until the reality of my situation with my BF became clear. I wonder if this is the same for you.

That being said, I've only left a couple of people, other than my exH, and ZERO regret. In each case, I feel I dodged a bullet.

This one is just hard because it isn't so much the person that is the problem (my BF) but the other half of his life. Very hard to reconcile loving someone and being loved but being able to only share half a life to keep your sanity. I do not want to be in SD's life and well, maybe there is another woman out there for BF who can be there. Frankly, I think it doesn't matter what changes happened/happen, I can't get past what I've been through with his unfinished business. I've been trying for quite some time now, unsuccessfully. I'm in my 40s and feel I can't wait much longer for the HOPE that my feelings will change.