I am a stepmom of 2 sons ages 15 and 17. I have 2 children of my own a daughter 19 and a son 16. I have been married for 11 years and blending a family for 11 years. I have full custody of my kids and my husband has 50/50 custody. The blending of the family has been fine except for the 15 year old stepson. Since day one when we began the blending of the family our relationship has not been good. He is a very jealous child and was always fighting for time alone with his dad. When moving the families in together I noticed he was taking toys from my son who is just 14 months apart. Or he would go to his moms and have her buy toys just like him or shoes like him and then come back with them at our house and brag and show off. As he got older he started doing this with his friends. You always knew who his best friend was because he would dress just like them. He was stealing clothes from both my kids such as athletic shorts, shirts, etc. My son loves sports and always wanted to have a bball hoop in our driveway. Where we live, it did not work to have one however my stepson who does not play bball got one for Christmas at his moms just like the one my son wanted. That same year at Christmas he stoled $200 (Christmas gift) from his own brother and denied it until his mom found out in his bedroom.
Through all of this time I have told my husband about the stealing and sneakiness but not once did he ever get in trouble. He lies constantly and when approached with stealing clothes he denies it and makes excuses.
Now that he is learning to drive his best friends are driving and because of his jealousy he has stolen his mom's boyfriend's car and drove it. He says he was going to drink but spit out the beer cuz it tasted awful and he has been accused of stealing $220 at his moms. He admitted to everything except stealing of the money. His mom has pretty much given him the silent treatment and setting his punishment pretty high. This is unusal as he never got in trouble all of these years for lieing, stealing, cheating, bullying his brother, etc...
He has now decided to not live with his mom as much and with us more so it makes it very difficult to live with him. He has done a lot of bad things directly and indirectly to me and I have a lot of resentment. I also have some issues with my husband as no punishment is ever done. Whenever I bring it up I get accused of targetting my stepson and it's because I don't like him. My husband says all of our kids have their problems but I just don't like this stepson and that he is loud and arrogant so I single him out.
I seriously do not know what to do and how to live with him more now. I love my husband dearly and love being married to him but totally dislike being a stepmom.
Any advice would be great. This is the first time I have used this so excuse my long blog.
Thanks