Need some crafty ideas on what to say.....

So I am "10 miles beyond done" with my SD18 behavior. She feels it is perftly appropriate to walk into the house with me sitting right there and not say a word - no Hi, Bye, Please, Thank You, or Kiss my A**. She also feels it is fine to walk right past me and not tell me where she is going -- really she doesn't say a single word to me.
She has been talked to about this with my DH - and told that there needs to be a certain level of respect in our house. So - since she decides to remain juvenile - I need some crafty "come back" / "childish" / "smart mouth" things to say to her when she walks in the room. Obviously she doesn't get it and doesn't seem to care.
I know it sounds stupid to stoop to her level; but I have tried everything. If she wants to treat me like crap and tell everyone that I am the most evil person in the world - she hasn't seen anything yet!
Any crafty ideas???

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"were is the rent check" "oh

"were is the rent check"

"oh you need to shop for your own food from now on"

"Cinderella here is your chore list, if it isnt completed by ____ time your electricity will be shut off (then proceed to the beaker box and shut off her electricity)"

Ooooh...I like that!

That is the thing...we have

That is the thing...we have sat down and agreed on what constitutes respectful behavior. He just chooses to let it slide all the time. When I bring it up to him, he comes up with some excuse for her. I definatly agree that he and I need to be on the same page on what is acceptable and what isn't -- but everytime we "agree" and I try to enforce what he says, it just gets swept under the rug. I just feel like it is always 2 against 1 and I never have the upper hand. I'm ready to take charge and if he doesn't like it then obviously we are incompatable.

let me just make sure is she

let me just make sure is she out of high school?

She is doing on-line high

She is doing on-line high school - whenever she feels like it. So if you consider maybe working on her school work 1-4 hours a week (if that) than yes - she is still in high school. She should have graduated last year; but she didn't do crap to work hard and chatch up on all her classes.
We pay for everything - car, cell phone, insurance....everything and she has no job and doesn't do anything around the house.

She needs to be cut off big

She needs to be cut off big time. If he can't get her to respect you by talking to her like an adult, it is time to treat her like the child that she is. She can't have anything without asking for it first. If she has her own car, then it gets sold. The money made off it can be used to pay for her room and board. Since she is 18, you can draft up a rental agreement. If she violates, you can kick her out.

This is all wonderful....but

This is all wonderful....but my husband will never go for it. Apparently he thinks it is perfectly fine for her to act this way since he won't stick up for me in any way shape or form.

Oh...hell to the

Oh...hell to the NOOOOOOO.....

First off..if she cannot even manage to graduate high school and she has to go to loser on line HS (sorry..DH and I are educators...I believe NO child needs and online education)...she cannot be respectful and has NO job she does not need a car or to be in your house.

You need to take charge. I would take those keys NOW...and until she graduates from HS she has no car. She needs a job and she needs to be paying for her life.

If you do not care enough about this kid...let it keep goignt his way and she will be on your couch until she is 40! If you care about her at all (and if DH cares at all) you two will jin forces and KICK SOME ASS.

She is way out of line. Of course she is acting like a total bitch to you. YOU ARE HER BITCH right now. You contribute to her bills? Hell NO! She needs to pay her own way. She is an adult. Keys are gone...car sold...and CNACEL that car insurance.

I cancelled my SD19's insurance when she didn't get a job this last summer before college. I sent her away to school too because of the same shit attitude. Fortunately my SD is a great student and has a goal. Your SD is just using you. Get tough and get her out...

Where is her mommy????? Time to change your locks!

It is so sad to hear of all these DH's who think it is perfectly fine for DW to work her ass off to pay for HIS mistake. I no longer do it. I refused and pushed back a while ago. My SD is on spring break this week...she is with her mom...not allowed back here until employed.

I agree with the online

I agree with the online thing....and it absolutly ticks me off when the school "skipps" lessons for her and replaces her final exam with just an end of chapter exam. I don't know how to bring this up to the board of education; but I know that this school is not preparing her for college in any way shape or form.

If I take the keys - that will piss my husband off. How do I cancel her insurance if she still drives the car but my DH and my name are on the car? It still has to be covered since there is a loan on the car.

I will check with my

I will check with my insurance company - THANK YOU!!!!!

So - my DH came home for

So - my DH came home for supper and I asked him what he thought was socially acceptable with her walking into the house and not saying a word to me. He turned it around on me and asked me if I talke to her when she walked in the door. I SHOULD BACK UP - I was given an ultimatum about 4 months ago and told that I needed to tell her hello when she walked in the door - I needed to attempt to talk to her - and I did just as he asked and never got anything in return from her. I told him how frustrating it was and how upset it made me so he told me not to "try" anymore. :jawdrop: So - I really need some smart, savy things to say to the both of them.

Change the locks so she can't

Change the locks so she can't get in. Make her sweat it out.

Put locks on and lock up everything she shouldn't have access to unless she starts to contribute (toothpaste, shampoo, food, etc.)

Make her start paying her own way.

That is what I would like to

That is what I would like to do....but how???

I feel for you. My FDH's

I feel for you. My FDH's daughter (almost 23) tried all last summer to move in with us. Little did she know, I would not move in with him until he promised no kids would ever come here. He also has 2 sons, almost 19 and almost 20....all 3 of them are horrible. There is NO way in this world I could ever live with them.

His daughter walked in here, ignored me, plopped her butt down and just sat here with a smirk on her face. She did that several times. One time, she came over with a BAD cold and hacked phlegm all over my backyard.

When her constant hints to move in did not work, she showed up LATE one night with her belongings, banged at the door and wanted in. God Bless my FDH, he did not bite. So, then she went on a rant on Facebook about him not being a good dad and me being a whore/bitch.

That was the night I figured out what got a reaction from her (previously, she ignored me along with sneers and smirks). I simply said LOUDLY and clearly to my FDH that this was unacceptable, I would not tolerate her behaviors, and she needed to leave and leave NOW. I ignored HER, and directed my words to him. She said many foul words, sped off in her car....She has not been back since.

I am lucky that my FDH has pretty much given up the guilty daddy syndrome. I know he has some misplaced guilt, but he has made tremendous progress. His kids mentally abused him, and still occasionally try to manipulate. He never sees them, bc he stopped giving them cash and things they demanded.

Your DH better wake up, bc at the rate your SD is going, she will NEVER leave your house. She has no reason to....it will only get worse.

You are lucky that your DH

You are lucky that your DH has stepped up to the plate - I don't know how to make mine do that. I don't know how to convey to him that her being here - and us paying for everything - and her doing nothing is eating away at our marriage. What words can I say to make him work towards progress? He has been divorced twice - I am his third marriage, so I feel deep down in my heart if I say I am leaving, then he would be helping me pack my bags instead of trying to work on the things that need to be worked on.

It is soooooo reassuring to

It is soooooo reassuring to have others tell me the same things that I think in my head! Lets me know that I'm not crazy
I feel that too - that he is only part-way into the marriage. At this point - there have already been soooooo many conversations on how horrible I am and how mean I am that it is about time that I start living up to all these things that I have already been portrayed as. Might as well - at least what they complain about now will be the truth!

Can you change the locks on

Can you change the locks on both of them? Tell him that unless you start getting respect from the both of them, neither are allowed back in the house? I don't know how well that would work. I am a newly wed with an almost 5 year old ss, that we only see on weekends. I would hope that if you showed your frustration in a way that it truly effected (affected?) your DH, maybe a change would be made. I don't want your marriage to end tho. Ugh, you are in a tough situation.

I have tried the killing with

I have tried the killing with kindness. Yeah - can't do the bear hug - I might puke.

Maybe you should try striking

Maybe you should try striking up a conservation with her. I know she is 18 but you are older and the adult. Try to find common ground. My SD 13 has acted like that too, not quite as bad, I just say hello and she speaks to me. Her father has talked about giving me a hug good bye when she goes back to her Mom's. Luckily for the most part my SD is a sweet girl, smart and artistic, like me. We do art projects together, painting and srap-booking. And I am letting her help me cook too. She loves being involved in projects so that's nice.

Yep - I've tried this and she

Yep - I've tried this and she just walks off. I have tried to be the "bigger better person" but it seems to get me nowhere.

You are so right!!!! Piss

You are so right!!!! Piss poor parenting. He had nothing to do with her when we got married - she didn't even come to our wedding. I was the one who contacted her and began a relationship with her and then my DH and SD began to speak again. I know that I am the reason that she is a part of his life now.

Someone recently told me that maybe that was my purpose (I hate to throw the religious thing in here because some people don't flow that way) but maybe that was God's purpose for me - to help build their relationship. Now that it is done and I constantly feel it is 2 against 1 that I hve done my job and it is time to move on.

Meanwhile start socking your money away just in case. If he would rather get divorced than parent his kid, let him!!!! Imo