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2young4this's picture

Submitted by 2young4this on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 2:30pm

Hey ya'll! I am 21 almost 22. I have a BF that I have been with for 3 years. We are not married yet but we are talking about. We love each other and are very serious. He has a little girl. Cute little thing. She is 11. I love her. She lives with us full time. I hate his nasty ex wife. She looks like the dog draged her in from the barn under the horses feet. haha. I hope ya'll can help me work through this. LOl

Comments

Princess's picture

Submitted by Princess on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 2:48pm

We're definately in the same boat! I feel 2young4this too lol, but like I told BF "when you find 'the one' you do whatever it takes" WELCOME Dirol

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 2:53pm

Umm you were 10 when this girl was born.

What is wrong with the mother apart from her looking bad? I mean we can't tell you to close your eyes when you deal with her.
How much does the little girl see her mother and why doesn't the mother see her daughter?

We don't know the dynamics but one thing you have to remember. It is likely the daughter loves her mother, warts and all. Being ugly does not preclude you to motherhood. I mean there has to be more than the judge thought the mother was too ugly to be a mother bfore placing the girl in her father's care.

2young4this's picture

Submitted by 2young4this on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 3:01pm

HAHA. No she is ugly so the courts took her rights away. HAHAHA. JK. She is a drug addict. LOL. FSD12 loves her mother of course but doesnt see her maybe like a few months. Her mom is not in her life.

Synaesthete's picture

Submitted by Synaesthete on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 3:33pm

Welcome! Smile

Hopefully you can come here for venting and advice in the future - Skids *can* be wonderful and I'm glad that you're committed to taking on the responsibility. I hope I'm not patronizing (and I shouldn't be, I'm young for this myself!) but just make sure that you really understand the gravity of becoming a SM. It's a lifelong thing. Bad mom or not, BM will always exist and you will have to interact with her. SD as a teenager may be more difficult.

They're just realities. Smile That doesn't mean, "Don't do it" because, like I said, skids can be wonderful and if this man is the one for you, it's part of the deal. Just know what you're getting into.

Best of luck!

BoutToBreak's picture

Submitted by BoutToBreak on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 3:55pm

Wink Welcome, I am only 9 years older than my oldest SD, I guess I don't see it as a big deal since her mom is 15 years older...I have to say it seemed harder when I was younger just bc I was immature, can't speak for you though...but it has gotten better as I get older. But it's good that you and your SD have a good relationship, that helps.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 4:04pm

Welcome to the community. I hope you find it a good place to vent, contribute and pick up some useful advice from others who are dealing with the challenges of blended family life.

My wife was 16 when she had our son (my SS). I was 28 when he was born. I met them when my wife was 18 and SS was 15mos old. We married 9mos later.

Our 16th anniversary is in 7wks.

Regardless of how despicable your Skids other BioParent is the kid will always love that person. My SS's SpermIdiot is a waste of skin and has no character or redeeming qualities at all beyond not being an axe murderer. My SS knows his BioDad is a looser scumbag and he and his three out-of-wedlock half sibs bad mouth their BioDad to each other all the time.

He still loves the guy though.

Best regards.