I need to vent please and thank you!! I meet my boyfriend about 3 years ago. He has full custody of his daughter with the bio mother only be allowed supervised visitation due to neglect on her part. She has not seen her daughter since 2004 (the child was 2 years old back then) and will call her approximately twice a year.

After knowing me about a year, the little girl started calling me mommy. We didn’t encourage or discourage this and she honestly probably started doing it because I have two other children and we were (and still are) all living together. I know that I am not her bio mom but I am her “mommy”. I am the one who buys her clothes, does her hair, packs her lunch for school, does her homework with her, meets with her teachers, kisses her boo-boos, enrolls her in fun activities like dance and baseball, gets her to practices, disciplines her when she does wrong, teaches her how to cook, and kisses her every night and tells her how much she is loved while I am tucking her in.

Recently, her bio mom has started contacting the little girl after one year of no contact. Her bio mom honestly knows very little about me or our family set up because of her failure to stay consistently in her daughter’s life. Honestly, the little girl has no clue who she is speaking to on the phone. I have enrolled her in counseling to help the little one understand that she has two mommies. I never want to have the situation years from now where I have to hear the words “What do you mean you aren’t my real mommy!!??” The therapist has helped a lot. She has explained to the 6 year old (she is mentally on the age level of a 4-5 year due to the neglect) that she has two mommies. The mommy that carried her in the tummy and the mommy that loves and cares for her. The therapist and the 6 year old came up with the name Mother Carla for her bio mom to help the child differentiate the difference between me and her bio mom.

After approximately calling her daughter 3x she finds me on Facebook and sends me a message wanting to know if the child calls me mommy or any version of it. I have never met this women or even spoken on single word to her. The only thing she wants to know about me is if the child calls me mommy!!!?? What about is she happy with me? Am I taking care of her? Is she loved? I want to write this women back and tell her that it doesn’t matter what the child calls me…It only matters how she sees me!!!!!!!

I didn’t but it was tempting. I replied to her that if she had any questions, comments, or concerns regarding the child that she really should speak directly to the father. I don’t want to become the communication grounds between the two of them.

I was just posting this to vent and get opinions from other people who are completely neutral to the situation.

Thanks for taking the time to read.