You are here

I think it’s time...

100thestep's picture

Hey y'all I've been wrestling with a LOT of heavy decisions lately and I'm just not sure what to do. Okay here goes...

so recently DH and The Monster went back to court to reconsider CS payments. The judge increased the amount by $600. Fine we can swing that $750 a month is tight but not going to kill us... well DH decided he didn't like the way he workplace was taking COVID precautions so he quit!! WHY?!?! Now our children have lost their insurance benefits and his other children are not receiving any kind of support either. He has yet to find a new job. My patience and understanding is wearing extremely thin. I don't want to do this anymore... I'm tired of struggling and trying to keep this family afloat. He's always sluffing responsibility off onto myself and BM. He doesn't express and kind of appreciation either. He's always mad and refuses to do anything to help ease the burden. Everything is everyone else's fault... I'm so done I can't keep trying to build him up. I want out, I want a divorce. Help!

Comments

JRI's picture

Are you working?  How many in th e family, do you have your own kids?

Kes's picture

In your previous post and biog, you said that DH has 4 kids from previous relationships, and that you are seriously contemplating bankuptcy, yet he thinks it's OK to leave a job because he doesn't like the COVID precautions,  without having another job lined up?  Bless his little heart.  I'd divorce him.  

The_Upgrade's picture

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. My SIL was in a similar situation with her now ex. He wasn't carrying his weight while they were married and she wanted out. Now he only has to pay $39 per fortnight CS for the kids due to his jobless status. It's certainly not fair to the kids and would barely cover a meal a day. But SIL looks at it from a glass half full perspective. If she hadn't left him he would be contributing just as little, this way he's still contributing the same but there's one less deadweight for her to carry and she can move on with her life. 

Weigh up your options. Have a talk to your DH about how you feel. Don't just take his word, he needs to show in actions that he's heard you. And if he's not willing to show that he wants to work on your relationship then you can't keep propping him up forever. If you leave him you can't be doing more work then you are at the moment, you'll just have one less person to support. 

tog redux's picture

He pays $750 for FOUR kids, and was previously paying $150?!  No wonder BM went back to court to get more. 

My guess is that quitting his job had nothing to do with COVID and everything to do with sticking it to BM. But most courts order men to pay the same level of support anyway, to discourage people from quitting to avoid it.  So, he'll just be racking up arrears.

 

100thestep's picture

I printed out the divorce paperwork today... I think he has a sense that something is coming. He's been ridiculously sweet and waiting on me hand and foot... sorry buddy but that kind of high school bs ain't gonna cut it. I need safety, security, and him to hold up his end of responsibilities. Our children lost their insurance when he quit and that really is upsetting. It's been 10 years of let downs and I'm tired of picking up his slack.