Well, hallelulah!
I think SO had a come to Jesus moment yesterday. He is a Disney dad and has trouble saying no to either of his kids, but particularly Princess SS15. However, he has never admitted it. On the night before New Year's Eve, SS15 calls him up and says that she is going to a party on NYE but BM wants a drink and so wouldn't be able to pick her up, so was Daddy planning to drink. I'm mouthing at him like the furies - hell to the no, do not do this. And I heard him agree to pick her up. WTF??!! It's not our night with them, she is 15 and running our adult night out!? :jawdrop:
SO, by the way, did not have a car as he started a new job yesterday which comes with a car. So it would be my car going out on NYE.
Well, I blasted him out and he agreed that it wasn't right that she had asked (and expected a lift) and he would tell her so. Anyhoo, she messaged him the next day to say she wasn't going to the party, but thanks for offering anyway. He then felt bad because he was going to say he couldn't pick her up. I told him to get over it, he's now Dad of the year and didn't have to actually do anything. So we went out and both had a few sherberts.
As I said, SO started new job today, and the company delivered him a hire car on Saturday so he can get to the office and pick up his new company car. He's been out of work for last few months so has had to rely on my car or shanks' pony.
SS15 calls him yesterday (Sunday, and not our weekend with skids) and asks for a lift to the train station 10 miles away because it is cheaper than going from our local station. My god, the cheek of the girl. SO obviously said no, then she called back 30 minutes later and asked if SO wanted to go with her. SO said no again as he had to get ready for his new job, etc. That girl is so lazy and won't walk anywhere. Now that SO has a car again she will be phoning him for a lift all the time. However, that evening SO said "I find it really hard to say "no" to my kids, but it might do them good if I did". Well, halle-bloody-ullah! Obviously I agreed with him and I am hoping that this might be the start of a new phase...... fingers crossed.
I know this dilemma all too
I know this dilemma all too well! HHB (short for Her High B***hness...SD15's new nickname), moved back to BMs after getting in trouble at our house for sneaking out and getting popped by the cops on a curfew violation! Naturally, she wanted to get into color guard at the new school. Immediately, it starts that BM doesn't have a car (or a driver's license for that matter)...how was she going to get to and from guard practices and such! BM's husband has to go to work early in the morning, and doesn't get home to around 7 p.m. They seriously expected DH to take time off of work to play taxi to HHB!!! Our house is 20 miles away from BM's house, and HHB's new school!
Now, DH and I already had this conversation about him having problems saying no to HHB! It was a bit of a touchy subject for DH, but after much arguing, he finally admitted it.
When HHB threw her little fit and moved out...treating everyone like total crap in the process (she still will not even return my MIL's texts, and regularly ignores DH's calls unless she wants/needs something)...DH's eyes opened up a bit!!! The transportation to and from color guard stuff? DH refused to do it. I still think he was too nice to make the suggestion that they ask BM's friend who happens to have a daughter in color guard in the same school. I would have made them figure it out themselves! HHB also tried to get DH to buy her color guard stuff on top of the child support (yes, she is at an age now that she expects the child support to be her money, and thinks she can dictate to her mother how it gets spent...she she was trying to get more). DH quickly put his foot down and told them that is what the child support is for!!! If she needs dance shoes or anything, it needs to come out of that!
So he is getting better...at least for now. The sting of the betrayal is still there! I don't know if it will last when that sting wears off. I'll be with you in praying that this is a new trend for these dads...that they finally learn the value of the word NO!