*not equalization that was sexualization

My heart is breaking for DH. This Saturday morning he was a bit off, I was outside working on some project in our camper and he comes outside, barely saying a word and continued that way until I asked "what seems to be bothering you, you seem a bit off today"

He woke up to a text sent by SD at 2:30 in the morning saying "Why don't you love me, why do you hate me, why don't you support me, why is alcohol more important than me, I am going through so much right now and I should be able to rely on my father" and then he mentioned she sent one a couple days prior at 2:30am also asking "Why did you have to get divorced"

All of this at a time when she should be sleeping but obvioously in a place of emotional distress. We have no idea how much BM is saying to her, all I know is that until a few months ago she was in our home 50% of the time and didn't have her mother yapping in her ear 24 hours a day everyday. We were able to seperate her from the craziness.

DH has been in constant contact with her, he messages her, he tries to call her. He tried doing something for her birthday but because he was sticking to "what is best for my daughter as far as schooling went" she decided she hated him and didn't want to see him. While she has not been in our home he has NEVER stopped being her father. He messages her every few days and says "I love you, I want to see you, I hope your day is going good" and if she replies it is nasty and crappy. It would be better if she just didn't respond at all.

So the other day he sent a reply "Of course I love you, of course I support you, if it bothers you that I drink (while you will not dictate what I do) I won't drink around you (although this isn't an issue, this really is something BM has fabricated to be an issue) I am always here for you."

No Response from her yet. I think a lot of this was because the meeting at the school to discuss the initial evaluation results, IEP info and school placement is today. I think she was hoping to guilt him enough in order for him to just cave. He understands by doing what is right and speaking up for what he believes will be the best for his daughter will make his daughter turn away from him. He will always go on the side of what is the right thing to do.

I just wish she would be away from BM long enough to clear her head. She knows nothing she said to her father is true, she knows her mother is a pathological liar, she knows all of this but it doesn't seem to matter at this point. It's as if everything he has ever done for her is forgotten, again he was the primary parent for 11 years while she flew off to work all over the place. It's all so messy and so sad.

So the meeting was yesterday.

SD will start her school year in the therapy school, they will conduct a 40 day evaluation and meet again in October to see if she will continue there or return to the high school.

When DH arrived at the school he got there at the same time as BM and SD, she was polite enough to him and he asked her for a hug and she did- she has a BIG mouth when it comes to texting.

The minute they got into the room, BM was 100% combative, she was trying to throw the school under the bus for their decisions or lack of evaluation during the summer, she stated that this school was filled with kids who cannot dress themselves and its not a place for her daughter then proceeded to say that DH said it was a"school for retards" and that his daughter was "a bad seed". She kept claiming that "she knew the law" and that the school system did not know what they were doing. She brought up the letter from the therapist and the schools response was "that is great that she has improved over the summer, but she has not demonstrated that in school" she went to the therapy school DAY ONE and then DAY two had her mother pick up her up because she had her period. BM went after every teacher or admin in the room telling them what they did wrong.

The school (Special Ed, High School, Middle School Teachers, and the Therapy school personnel) had already made the decision that she would begin at the therapy School. SD started listing her demands, one being she goes to the regular high school and the other that she has time with the guidance counselor every other day. The principal at the high school looked at her and stated "You will get counseling at the Therapy School, the High School is not equipped to handle that sort of demand from students, so you will get that at the therapy school"

SO! When SD figured out they wouldn't let her go to the regular High School she LOST HER SHIT. She started swearing at BM, calling her by her name and saying "You promised me you would fix this, you promised me in the car that you wouldn't allow them to send me to that school" she continued to attack every adult in that room. OMG doesn't' she know if she wants to try to manipulate the school into believing she has grown up and will act accordingly she maybe shouldn't go crazy in the meeting.

This was all very painful for DH, it's all so real and he worries that it may not work. And SHAME on BM for promising her this, the last day SD was in our house it started because she got mad when I told her that her mom cannot just take her out of this school and that if the town makes a decision then that is the decision. What a god-damn psychopath BM is!

Needless to say DH didn't need to say much at all, he just watched his crazy ex-wife and crazy daughter sink themselves in the meeting. BM doesn't want this because these schools demand a lot from the parents too and she wants to be primary parent she will be kept in line by the school too. If SD screws this up the next step is the county residential school that kids with behavioral issues attend. DH will be in contact with the therapy school this week to get a meeting with the principal to let him know of the current dynamics with regard to his daughter and make sure that he is kept abreast of what is happening.