It's been a while since I've been on the forum. Just thought I'd check in and read some more, as stepfamily issues are never far from my mind.

I live with an enmeshed mother / son pair, or as I call them, sonsband and wifemom. There are things she does that appear to be done from a parental role, but are better explained as her being a helpmate to her son. It's beyond being a permissive and indulgent parent, though it involves that too.

The reason I'm back here is that SS17 will likely be going away to college in a year and a half and I'm wondering what changes this is going to bring to this situation. Not that I particularly have anything to say about that at the moment, but I think it's time to start dealing with stepfamily issues again, including reading the stories of others and telling my own story.

Best advice I've gotten from this forum was to read the book Stepmonster. The part about disengaging has especially been helpful. It's a must read if you have anything from mild stepfamily issues to a hostile stepchild in the house (my case), or anything in between.

I had some peace while DW was away for a few days at a conference and SS hid himself in his room the whole time. Now that DW is back, SS's constant bickering, bitching and begging for affection and DW's side to this song and dance routine is soundtrack of the household. The short break from it, and the return to business-as-usual, has only highlighted the strangeness of it, and caused me to think of StepTalk again.