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shaping up to be a skid-free summer

Calypso1977's picture

so i definitely dont think SD14 will be around much this summer. she still has a bug up her ass relative to her father and this week's visits including the weekend have been canceled.

he saw her briefly for an hour last week. he came home practically in tears which made me feel terrible. she is so nasty to him. he had returned from a week away at a conference and said everyone there had been sharing photos and talking about the things they've done with their kids and the plans they had for summer with their kids (he knew most at the conference pretty well, its a regular group). I hate that SD14 is denying him the ability to be a father, with full support and backing of her mother. i truly have come to hate this child.

i wish i could find something to help him fill the void but it seems nothing will do the trick.

ocs's picture

I have nothing to add other than ((hugs)) and I feel the same way as you. Sad thing is the 'hate' has turned into apathy.

SD15 was around this weekend and I don't even want to look at her. Her and her mother have caused so much grief I have closed myself off. She happens to be all sugar right now... not sure why.

DH happened to mention some time off he had coming this year and she suggested staying with him for the whole time. No one said anything. Not even DH.

Even he will admit to himself it would be too much dramarama.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I know what you mean, but at the same time, our DH's had a hand in things turning this way. My DH could have put his foot down a long time ago with BM and HHB, but he didn't. He bent over backwards for their every command, and now he is paying the price for that! HHB doesn't want to come here because I'm too much of a b***h in her words...I'm always on her. Well, if DH had done his job as a parent and made sure that HHB respected me and our home from an early age (seeing as I've been in the picture since HHB was a year old), she wouldn't see things that way AND she would understand the rules of this house and abide by them so that I didn't have to be on her! That is just part of it. Let's not forget all those times that DH let BM and HHB get way with not doing visits because HHB just didn't feel like coming over. I'm sorry...unless there were some real issue (like in my case, my ex was a pot addict and an alcoholic), you tell the kid they need to do their visits. I get when HHB was really young, the idea of going to a different house was scary, but she was never put in a position to get used to the change. Add to that the fact BM never abided by the court order, and things were always on her terms, and DH had to jump through hoops to even see his daughter! He should have put his foot down and told her a long time ago, "The court order says I get her from 6 p.m. Friday to 6 p.m. Sunday every other weekend! Sorry, I will not bring her home at noon on Sunday because you got a hair up your butt that you wanted to go to your mom's. No I will not go out of my way to get her on Saturday morning, when your house is on my way home from work on Friday, and that is when I'm supposed to get her anyway!" Any of us who have bio kids and an ex have had to arrange our schedule for the court order! That is life, honey...deal with it!

But because DH let them get their way the last 15 years, and suddenly he has stopped playing the game, HHB no longer wants to see him...she no longer returns his calls or texts. No, she only calls when she needs to try to sweet talk more money out of our bank account! I can tell that it hurts DH, but at least he has finally started seeing the girl for what she really is!