Finance responded to my email a day later that he would "talk to SD about the dresses". He didnt mention a word to me verbally about it and i let it lie.

I did respond to his email that part of me thought that we should ask SD to bring back the shoes and dress that i bought her for the funeral. He didnt respond at all to that, but i played snoops and checked his texts and he had one to SD that said "what did you do with the dress and shoes we bought you for the funeral". Her response was "why????"

This should be interesting.... if she even still has them anymore, i bet you the dress is balled up in a corner of her room, unwashed (the funeral was back in december). the shoes were the more expensive component, those might have survived. I hope he demands she bring them back. im keeping mum since of course im not even supposed to know he inquired of her.

But who knows, psycho BM might have thrown both away.

One thing i did think of is that the benefit of us buying a few "appropriate" things and keeping them at our house is that they will remain in good shape and we can then give them to SD's cousin - her parents dont have much money and she loves to wear nice things.