If you read my recent blog, you saw that last Saturday night, DH picked SD15 and a friend up from a party, and they were drunk.  SD was incoherent and throwing up, and her friend was draped around the toilet and slurring her words. (we called friends dad to come get her). This has really shaken DH up, and he seems to be doing a lot of soul searching.  In our talks, he has stated that he has not done the right thing as a parent, by ignoring certain things and allowing her to get to the point of feeling like she has no rules or consequences, like she is in charge.  He even said that he sees that things I have expressed worry about are happening, and that he knows now that I just wanted him to step up to try to avoid things like this.  It was nice to hear that, because there were a few years where he disregarded me and things were in a pretty low spot. But I never wanted to be right at the expense of pain.  And it is pain all around.  SD left with BM soon after she got up on Sunday.  He said they had a discussion with lots of tears first, and she even tried to crawl in his lap saying she was sorry.  He said he was pretty harsh with her.  Now SD has not come back over, she was supposed to be here Wednesday and Thursday.  She is using excuses, but I think it is probably that she doesn't want to deal with talking about it anymore, or maybe she's upset that DH was so angry.  Her punishment was supposed to be that she had her phone taken away and that she was grounded for a week, but when he has called or texted her she has responded so she apparently has her phone. I believe BM is going to be lenient on this, and probably side with SD as she has done before.  So this is leaving DH with his eyes open for what needs to be done as a parent, but fear that if he does, he will lose his relationship with his daughter.  I am not sure how to help at this point.  Ironically, earlier in the day on Saturday, I had been thinking that we had all come a long way in the last few months, and felt like we were in a fairly good place.  It feels like every time we move forward, we end up getting set back