can't shake the sadness
For those of you who read my previous post, my husband went on a week long Canadian fishing trip with the 2 skids. I sit at home because I'm 7 months pregnant and couldn't get off work even if I wanted to. The past few days have been horrible. I keep crying (I know it's probably pregnancy related but I hate feeling like this.) I feel like he abandoned me.
Last night he was supposed to send me a message from the lodge (where there is shotty internet), never did. I waited up and finally just went to bed. Then this morning I have several cheery messages like "Good Morning!" "Had a great day fishing yesterday." This is what I caught, this is what the boys caught, blah blah blah. I SERIOUSLY DON'T GIVE A DAMN! I told him very sternly that I was not really interested in hearing about it since I'm at home holding down the fort and working my butt off. I know he thinks I'm overreacting but I told him if things don' change with those boys I'm afraid of what will become of our relationship. I'm a very independent person and I will not stick around. He says to me "we really needed this, we have bonded in the short amount of time we've been here." This from the person who makes no time for me. I've had it... I told him just because they are bonding doesn't mean anything will be different around our house when they get home.
UGH! Sorry for anyone even having to read my rant. I just can't take it anymore.
Thanks for the kind words.
Thanks for the kind words. I'm not usually like this. I'm a very independent person. I just keep thinking of the skids smug grins when they return because they got to leave and I had to stay home. I'm sure it made their day.
As a man, I don't think I'd
As a man, I don't think I'd be willing to leave my 7 month pregnant wife at home while I'm out fishing for a week. That's just me though.
Thank you. That's sort of how
Thank you. That's sort of how I felt about it. To top it off there's no way to contact him. I'm more angry and upset the more I think about it. He always puts those boys first though. No matter how horrible they are
I agree with 'Step.tococis'
I agree with 'Step.tococis' at the top. He should be devoting more time with you in the upcoming months, but considering you'll be pregnant for the summer I'll respectfully disagree with 'frustrated...'.
The trip your husband is taking although may be disguised as a fishing trip its also an opportunity where he is with his kids 24/7 for the first time in a long time. Boys need a father figure at a certain age to see how a man acts, this is when they start to learn how to deal with the world in general.
I took my boys out on camping trips every year and often on weekends throughout the year.
If you're having a hard time with work and the home situation it may be time to take a pregnancy leave or just plain quit. The money may be short but your physical and mental health is worth more than a bill paid off early or a bigger TV down the line.
Nobody doubts your feelings or your depression please don't misunderstand me. It's very real as anybody who's been depressed well knows.
I hope you don't blame him further for he's trying to balance two situations which he has no control over. Your pregnant feelings and the unrelenting growing up his boys are doing which threatens to leave him behind with every day that passes.
I don't know the problem you're having with the boys but I wish you had considered that before getting pregnant. Try and make the best of the situation.
It takes a mother to raise a boy and a father to raise a man. You've got to give him his time with them or you may find him leaving sooner than you wish.
not everyone works for a
not everyone works for a bigger TV or extra money.
i know very few who can simply "quit their jobs".
I know that he needs to have
I know that he needs to have time with them but no time he ever spends does any good once they go back to their moms and are completely reprogrammed to act like a couple of a-holes. My biggest problem has been that there is little to no contact while he is up there. Last night our house phone rang at 1am. OUR HOUSE PHONE NEVER RINGS. I jumped up and answered it all disoriented and no one would say anything. I wouldn't have been so paranoid if I had actually been able to talk to my husband. So then I lay up all night worrying. To top it off he forgot one of his heart medications (he has had a heart condition since he was a kid) and tells me the 2nd day they are gone before we basically lost contact. So what do you think I was thinking the whole time? To be honest i was thinking he was dead up there and those "boys" don't have enough sense to call me. Guarantee they would call their mom. I feel so alone and haven't been feeling the best lately with this pregnancy and it seems like it's no big deal to him. I keep thinking, are they going to leave me here next summer too to contend with a baby by myself?!
Not they - HIM. At the end
Not they - HIM.
At the end of the day, this is between you and your husband. It is not up to your step kids to help you "contend" with a nearly one year old (next summer). It IS up to your husband to work with you in regards to how your home runs, and how his children behave while there.
And I huess I don't get the angst of his goimg away for two weeks at seven mos. My now ex) husband planned a biz trip spanning the week before and after our second was due, telling me to call his secretary if I went into labor while he was gone. Hah - I scheduled an induction for the day before (she was fully cooked). He still went. His loss. So I "contended" with a toddler and a newborn. My gain.