Bridal shower with SD19 and SD13....?
DH has one sister, and her family are the only relatives that DH has left. DH has a niece and nephew by this sister. They are good people, very generous, loving, very close with DH. DH's niece is getting married and her bridal shower is in a few weeks. I thought the shower would be at his sister's home, but instead the parents of the groom are hosting it at their house.
We received the invitation to the shower this week. My name on the first line and the two SDs on the next line. So my DH will not be around, will not be watching football in the basement with the guys....I do NOT want to go anywhere with these two SDs and I absolutely refuse to have SD19 drive me anywhere. I came to that conclusion two years ago. SD19 is rude and will probably just be texting on her phone the entire time. That in itself will make me livid. She texted during my wedding a few years back! She will be at school and make the entire event an excuse to come home for the entire weekend. SD13 is a weird space cadet who just said this week that she doesn't want to look like a girl. So, I dread even trying to buy her an outfit for the shower, much less the wedding later on. I just don't want to invest my time anymore where these SDs are concerned.
So, do I turn down the shower for DH's niece altogether and just see everyone at the wedding? What makes it even more difficult is that DH's sister hosted my wedding with DH at HER house a few years back. On niece's birthday! LOL It was our second marriage and we kept it small, but still SIL prepared all of the food and we had our wedding for 25 people at her house four days after a huge blizzard. DH's sister is such a kind, gracious person. But she has no idea what HELL these two girls have put me through with disrespect, especially with the difficulties that have gone on this summer.
What do I do? I think I'm going to put myself first. I will be at the wedding. I didn't have a shower. Who needs a shower? I'll be at the wedding. With bells on. With DH. Where I don't have to handle the Skids on my own. Right?.....
~ Moon
You can go alone and the two
You can go alone and the two sisters go together. The19 year old can to take the 13 year old shopping for an outfit for the shower and the wedding.
SD13 is better mannered than
SD13 is better mannered than SD19! I'm becoming more and more convinced that SD19 has Borderline Personality Disorder. SD13 is just starting puberty and is very awkward, acts more like a little boy because she hasn't found her way yet, I guess. Ugh....
DH would have a hissy fit if I RSVP'd without his daughters. I almost WANT him to let SIL know that I refuse to be anywhere with them, esp on a weekend. We see DH's sister's family maybe 2x a year, we are all so busy. I can just see everyone at the wedding. Funny thing is, if I don't go, the SDs won't want to go. SD19 gets weird social phobias. This shower will be at a house she's never been to before. Each SD is about 6 years behind where they should be mentally. So, I have a rude 13yo (SD19) and a doofus 7yo (SD13).
Duh-uhhhhhh.
~ Moon
ETA: Yes, Disney I was considering that as well, but I am SPENT after this summer. DH keeps traveling and I just want my time back, SD19 goes to college 45mins away and SD13 will start 8th grade. All. This. MONDAY!
A texting 19yo and a awkward
A texting 19yo and a awkward 13yo will hardly be noticed. EVERY 19yo texts and 13yo is awkward.
RSVP for yourself. Give invite to 19yo and tell her she and kid sister are on their own to do as they please. Suggest to Daddy, if they choose to go, that he take both of them shopping for clothing, girls do the picking and Daddy the paying.
Then make it clear that you've got a different schedule and other things to do on the day of the shower so the girls will have to find their own transportation. I'm assuming the 19yo has a license and if not a car she can use Daddy's.
If anybody looks at them funny and then at you just say "I don't have anything to say about them" or similar words. Make "washing my hands" gestures.
Yes, separate sounds good. I
Yes, separate sounds good. I would only go because SIL's family has always been so kind and gracious to us, and it's the right thing to do.
Or I could just send a gift. My health hasn't been well lately -- can't imagine why -- and who knows how I will be feeling when that day rolls around. I never feel like going anywhere lately. Just want to stay home with my pups relaxing on MY weekends. I want MY weekends back. Life with Skids and Disney DH has drained the hell outta me. I'm disengaged now, but mentally it still takes its toll.
~ Moon
RSVP for one. End of
RSVP for one. End of issue.
Enjoy the shower for your Niece.
"What makes it even more
"What makes it even more difficult is that DH's sister hosted my wedding with DH at HER house a few years back. On niece's birthday! LOL It was our second marriage and we kept it small, but still SIL prepared all of the food and we had our wedding for 25 people at her house four days after a huge blizzard."
YES, I think you need to go, even if it means the SDs also go. This is one of those difficult step situations just to be endured because it's the right thing to do. The funny thing is, this SIL is probably so nice that she would not be upset if you didn't go, but I really think you should because it sounds like she has so little family, and she deserves your support and attendance. It could be worse. The invitation for the shower could have gone to BM & SDs.