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I over-stepped…I admit it.

cpreston's picture

Submitted by cpreston on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 9:43am

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Parenting Issues

My Bio-daughter is 15, she had a boyfriend who very unceremoniously dumped her…this has been a back and forth thing… they talk, he schmoozes her, she takes him back, I get mad because she is otherwise this strong minded, independent person even for 15… she’s fiercely loyal to her friends, but if any of her girlfriends do her wrong, she’s done with them, so why not this boy? Why does she allow this boy to come and go at his own leisure? It infuriates me…

So fast forward to yesterday when he tags her on facebook on several posts saying how he misses her and after a conversation he understand what he’s done to her and then he puts a heart <3
REALLY?

This is where I overstepped
(I monitor everything that my DD does online, I don’t believe that is overstepping, I have passwords to her FB and her cell phone, it’s what we do)

I overstepped because I commented on the last post with the heart
I said something to the effect of I’m SO happy you finally understand…
Well, the little creep then started messaging me asking to sit down and talk with me

Um, no

I apologized for posting on his facebook, I tried to delete it but then couldn’t, so I edited it to something innocuous
*Palms forehead… there, I said it
I know that I should have NEVER commented on his facebook post.

cpreston's picture

Submitted by cpreston on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 10:32am

my daughter says it's because I as accessing on my phone
(Every morning, I take five minutes to check out her FB stuff before I go into work, I usually do it in my car in the parking lot)
the boy wound up deleting it, I'm actually thankful that he did

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 12:51pm

Ahhh...yeah. I hadn't thought about that, but I know there are several FB features I've tried to access by phone & couldn't.

Well, at least it's gone.

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 11:00am

I don't see this as overstepping. You are her mom, you are allowed. I had to tell a little boy on DD11's instagram the other day "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". He proceeded to get lippy with me, so I called his mom. I refuse to allow my kids to be treated poorly via the internet because stupid little kids grow mighty big cyber balls... End result, the kid is now grounded. And the rude comments are deleted.

cpreston's picture

Submitted by cpreston on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 1:07pm

I'm glad I'm not the ony that has a teen with an Instagram
she's on tumblr too, which I've been told is 'shady' but I have total access to her online stuff and I've seen nothing shady about it
(maybe I'm not looking in the right places, but I don't think that DD is either)

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 11:04am

I would've done the same thing. I have a 15 yr old DD that was in a similar position with her last boyfriend. He'd lead her on only to break up with her when the next chick came along, only to go crawling back to her with a sob story and reel her back in again. After my abusive ex husband did that to me several times and I got my strength back - I told her NOT to follow in those footsteps and to always put HER happiness first.

cpreston's picture

Submitted by cpreston on Thu, 06/27/2013 - 12:43pm

* always put HER happiness first.*
amen to that!

I also told her that there's nothing wrong with being 'single' at her age! lol, she doesn't ALWAYS have to have a boyfriend, sometimes NOT having one is more fun

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 8:03am

No worries. You did nothing that was toxic.

Learn and move on. Hopefully your DD-15 will do the same. Particularly the move on part.