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This might be off topic however I'm in a quandery...

LadyG's picture

All of you know about my SS and prison and so forth. However, my older BIL gave up parental rights to his son because he could not pay for child support. The BM had more issues than the US government however, BIL wants to invite his son to his FOURTH marriage to a lady no one has ever met.

Now mind you, I don't care who he invites however BIL has a notorious track record of marrying dingbats and women who use him for a year then dump him. He got a vascetomy a long time ago but that is neither here nor there. To me, he has no business inviting a child he doesn't know however it's not my wedding.

Another thing that is off topic is that I'm Pagan. The church that I'm going to is a pentecostal church (and that's fine) however, my beliefs have changed and I don't want this pushed down my throat. I used to be pentecostal until politics got involved and I said, "I'm outta here." With my sinister in law's belief that I'm going to Hell because of my second divorce and so on and so forth, I dumped religion as a whole and just went spiritual. I'm happier being this way however I guess I'm saying I don't want to go to the wedding for many reasons. He's a crappy father, his track history with relationships and his religious beliefs.

I am at a stand still because DH wants me to take time off to go and I don't want to go. How should I handle this?

Thank you!

Drac0's picture

Maybe you can seek some kind of compromise? Like instead of going to the wedding, you go to the wedding reception? Or you go to the wedding and skip the reception? I know how tough it is to tolerate relatives you have little respect for. When I get dragged into these things, I do so purely to humor my wife. She knows how I feel and she is extremely thankful for me going. So my thinking is this wedding ceremony lasts what? One hour? Two hours? I can sacrifice a few hours to get a lot of "Thank yous" from my wife KWIM?

LadyG's picture

Remind me to use the Exorcist's "pea soup" as a prop and to eat the chocolately Exlax all day. I'll say, "...and I thought it was chocolate brought in by someone in the office..."

Then I'll sh** myself laughing...

oldone's picture

Does "take time off" mean that you would have to use vacation or not get paid to attend this wedding? Is it local or does it involve travel. The old "I have to work" excuse is always good.

As far as your beliefs being different - that wouldn't mean anything to me. Going to watch others take vows in another religion in no way constitutes participating in that region. My Jewish friends have attended many a Christian wedding with no harm done to the Jewish beliefs.

I don't particularly care about how many marriages either. A close friend had 5 marriages by the time she was 40. The last one now has lasted over 20 years. And I wouldn't care who he invited as long as it was not your pervert SS.

If you really, really don't want to go - just don't. Don't try to justify thru these reasons that people can argue with. "I'm not available." is enough.

LadyG's picture

You know I could say, "Sorry! I'm rolling yarn balls all day." My Goddess, that will p*** him off to no end. He thinks my life consists of yarn all over the place.

We got into an arguement about that last night. He said, "Yarn is your life." I said, "No, it's not my life. You don't b**** about making you a blanket, do you?"

He shut up after that.

LadyG's picture

Actually, Sinister In Law is something I made up because she's a sinister and downright evil entity that has nothing better to do than to cast judgement on those who aren't Biblical right according to her "psychiatric" knowledge.

In other words, it has said through many exorcisms that the Devil speaks the words of God but does horrific things to mock Him. People on ghost hunts get scratched with three claw marks to signify the mockery of the Holy Trinity. She uses the Bible in her own interpretation to tell you that you're going to Hell for divorcing your abusive partner, to respect the parents who have physically and emotionally abused you and that she has "all the knowledge of the Bible" and was becoming a Christian psychologist.

Next time I see her, I'm dowsing her with holy water. She is that evil.

LadyG's picture

Go ahead and use it, everyone. I mean, if you have a sinister in law like I do, hell join the club. Just bring your holy water, your burning white sage and a jet stone.

Be prepared, I say...

LadyG's picture

I wanted to give you an update: Because I don't have the time off and my boss wishes for me to build time, I cannot go. Although I should be going, I really don't want to. The family drama has been too much for me and I just want to relax after a long week of working, you know?

I bet the new Mrs. will be coming here on Thanksgiving with the whole family in tow.

It makes me want to hide in the office all week and catch up on work..or crocheting, either one.