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SS4 grabbed my boobs...3 times!

confusedsm03's picture

SS barely speaks to me. He usually just grunts when I ask him a question. So it's not a close relationship by any means. DH wasn't feeling well last night so I asked SS if he wanted to read a story with DD and me. I have one kid on each side of me as I read on the couch. I paused reading to explain the story line to DD (too complex for SS to understand). I felt him touch my boobs, then again...I thought it was an accident so I look over at him and he grabs my boobs again- hard! I said what are you doing? Please don't touch my boobs. He then runs away bc well, thats what he usually does when I talk to him. I finish the story and go upstairs to DH where SS is hiding. I explained to DH what happened and he said in a very mellow tone "that wasn't very nice SS". That's it. DH told me he was probably curious. I could understand that if 1. we were close enough that he thought even for a second that it would be ok to touch me there (I CONSTANTLY am reinforcing to the kids good touch/bad touch); 2. I was wearing a hoody and am very small chested...it's not like they were hanging out for him to see in the first place. Hopefully this never happens again. It made me very uncomfortable. I know he is young but I wish DH would have said something more than he did...He needs to learn that it's not ok to touch any female that way...maybe his mother allows this kind of behavior during story time?! lol

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That is pretty bizarre, and I can understand why you're uncomfortable. I can't imagine what he is thinking. The only thing I can guess is that he has been exposed to some sort of mature situation (a movie even) which showed breast groping. Or maybe he was around older boys who were joking about it.

My SS5 cuddles me all the time and it is not awkward at all. He has accidentally touched my chest before, leaned his head against my chest, etc., and it has never given me any cause for concern.

Do not doubt yourself on this. He is re-enacting something he has seen or heard about in other circumstances, and your DH needs to talk to him about it before he ends up re-enacts this with someone else or someone else's kids.

cant win for losin's picture

OMG this has happened to me. Except SS was older. It happened the first time when SS was 6. I bent over to give him a hug and he made a move to feel my chest. I was sooo frickin shocked that i was certain i was mistaking what just happened. Well the next time was when we were on the couch together, and i wasnt mistaken that time. I told him not to do that. THEN AGAIN when i went to hug him. I was pissed. I grabbed his hand a very firmly told him while looking at him dead in the face " you do not touch me, or any girl there. That is wrong and you better not do it again. If you touch me there again, i WILL tell your father"
I so regret not telling DH about it. I admit i was actually embarassed, and still kind of am, by it. I mean come on, i just got felt up by a 6 year old. Ugh!
Well the hugs stopped. I felt violated and gross. THEN the little bastard tries again when he is 8! I grabbed his hand soo hard, im surprised i didnt break it.
At present time i am disengaged with SS so there is no way it will happen again. BUT GET THIS....
I find out through SIL that SS has done it to grandma. (Grandma is raising him) and she just laughed it off!!!!!!!!

Ana88bac's picture

As a mom of a boy, I just had to pipe in. He did this too - to me and to a friend of mine. I'm pretty sure, at 4 and 6, it's just innocent curiosity. It's not a sexual thing, unless there's something really wrong with the situation. If he was 10+, I'd say it was weird. Otherwise, just explain (again) that these are private areas and we don't do that. They're little and they're boys. He's 11 now and turns beet red when I tell him stories of the weird stuff he did when he was little. Today, he understands, and if he did it NOW, we'd have a problem.

cant win for losin's picture

Yes i have heard at young ages there is a curiosity. Although 6 wasnt one of those ages i read about, i understand research varies.
i too have a BS and never had a problem with this.
While i was more dismissive at the age 6 incident. Age 8 to me, is inexcusable. IMO

confusedsm03's picture

Maybe I'm just taken back bc he's not my son. I'm sure if my DD or DS did this, I wouldn't have been so shocked. SS has done this before but he was much younger. Again, I felt very uncomfortable about it then too. I mean, I'm sure if his mother found out he was grabbing at my chest, we would have some serious explaining to do...and well, if my bios did it, I would have never have that thought. A lot more thought goes into situations like this (and many others) when you're sharing custody of a child that isn't yours and doesn't live full time in your home. Is it curiosity...or is something going on that we should be concerned about...is this a regular thing when he is with his mother, etc. Again, here's to hoping it doesn't happen again. I will chalk it up to curiosity this time around but if it becomes a habit, DH better put his foot down