so upset!!!! i need advice please!!!!
bf and i cannot communicate! i try to explain how i feel and he takes the defensive!
i tried to explain how our whole relationship hasnt been a relationship at all, just been fixing sd and it being about sd all the time! i told him how everyone plays the "poor jami" card and she uses it to her advantage! i told him how i wish it could be that we have a relationship but we cant! its so hard to explain how i feel but i dont like his daughter and i really wish she would go away for good, she is an aweful little bitch and things were so much better when she was gone last year to bm's. now she is back and horrible as she was before.
i need some help. i need to explain to him that i dont want any responsibility of her and i dont want to spend time with her. he lets her get away with shit and i cant stand it!!!!
Hmm...
How old is she?
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
sd
is 11. i became her 'step mom' when she was 6, a role my bf just kinda put on me. he and i are not married, but i feel that he may just be wanting someone to take bm's role b/c bm is in another state.
this child has physically and verbally abused me. she made a fake cps report on me. she steals, lies, and is a total bitch.
So does she go back and
So does she go back and forth each year? How does your BF feel about all of it?
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
no, she stays with us
full time. last year was a one time deal. besides, bm may move here to fl in a few weeks. i doubt she will want eow or 50/50. i doubt bf would want that either. i would just love for sd to go away!!! how do i do that?
Unfortunately, its you that
Unfortunately, its you that would have to go away, especially with a BM that is not involved. The kid has nowhere to go. What does your BF say about the things she does? Does he not parent her?
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
Run
You will never be happy in this relationship and the other two will never really be happy with your around. Its a lose - lose - lose situation.
Listen there's a billion guys out there. You can do better than this. Find a guy without kids.
*********************
There's an exception to everything I say.
i'd like to leave
but bd2 will miss her father terribly. she has some disabilities and big changes are not good for her. i know that she would get over it, but she and bf have a good time together, she loves her daddy. why make her suffer when sd is the one causing problems?
i see posts on here about people who make the skids leave or not visit anymore due to behavior disrupting families. why should the sp have to leave? we didnt do anything wrong. i feel that skids are given too much power and people feel sorry for them too often. i agree that having parents split up must be hard but damn do they have to act like both parents got blown up in front of them? most skids act as if the world owes them something.
idk, but sd11 is a terribly selfish child and while bf tells her he doesnt like how she acts, it has no effect. punishments dont either. rewarding good behavior doesnt make a difference either. she is hopeless.
Evilbitchstepmom08
What about counseling for SD11? If you can't afford it, you can look up free clinics or something. I think there's ways to get a child help with low income.
She's got severe behavioral issues and needs help.
Evilbitchstepmom08
I answered this without looking at your past posts and just guessed based on the above that SD needs help.
Then I read some of your back blogs.
Please - this girl needs help. She is emotionally disturbed. You said in another blog you are concerned she was abused, physically or sexually. This girl is crying out for help and will only get worse. In my opinion, there's no bright happy ending here without professional intervention.
And that includes if BM moves away and SD continues on her same path. You may end up with even worse problems... or SD trying to come back and live with you after horrible things happen to her.
Can you try Catholic Charities, or some local troubled children's society? Even that action, if you can do it and get your DH to agree, will at least give you some sort of control back in this situation. And if BM argues... screw her. She's pretty much not helping to raise her properly, right? How can she argue with getting this girl some help?
Best wishes to you and your family...
Sounds like you need some help and a break, too...
Sounds to me like you, too, could use some help. Parenting a kid with real problems requires support--from your partner, from professionals who can help you understand what is going on with the kid, and who can help you to develop skills to work with her in ways that do not make you feel awful, and help learning how to take care of your own needs in the midst of this.
You do not need to stay, but your mate does need to be a good dad to a troubled kid. She needs him, and to be a real partner to him, you need to support him in being there for her rather than wishing it was different and trying to get him to abandon her. There is nothing wrong with wishing things were different, but it is not okay to act on that wish by encouraging a parent to abandon his child. You need to take care of your own child and self first, so if this is not working for you, you can leave, but it may be that getting the resources you need will make it possible to stay. Good luck.