I thought I'd take a minute to introduce myself.

DH and I dated & broke up. Fast forward 12 years - we're both single and reconnect. We dated for about 2 years before getting engaged. A year later, we got married in the Summer of 2012 and each brought a kid to our marriage. DS is 11 and SD is 9.

BF is living out of state with gf#3, who are too busy to be involved in DS's life. That is fine with DS and me! DS feels like he's never really had a dad and is very excited for DH to fill that role. My DH is doing a great job with that, but it's obvious that SD is still favored.

BM is a train wreck!! She and I used to work together so my initial views weren't positive. After being (forced) to be a part of her life for the last 3 years, my opinion has only gotten worse. She was unfaithful during her marriage to DH. She moved SD (when she was 6) 3 hours away to live with BF#1 (and his parents and his sister and on weekends the sisters 2 bratty kids). She "married" BF#3, but they immediately divorced. (BM is VERY happy that the marriage doesn't count so WHEN she re-marries, she will only have to list her marriage to DH.)This prompted a move back to our town. BM has introduced SD (now 9) to TWO new boyfriends in the past 5 months. She broke up with BF#2 on Jan 9th and began dating BF#3 on Jan. 21st....she took SD to BF#3's house for a sleep over last night..... great parenting!!
Aside from dating issues, BM only has SD bathe on Wednesdays. SD is with us Fri-Sun and bathes each day - she loves her baths!! We can never do anything on Friday nights, because SD's hair is dirty and oily and reeks of BO! BM's solution is tell SD "You smell." and to tell us to buy her deodorant. (When we finally did, BM doesn't even remind SD to used it.)
Finally, BM frequently tells SD that I (me, not DH and me, but me - personally) make more money that BM does. SD tells me this on a regular basis - especially when she wants something. This makes me so mad!! BM gets almost $1,000 a month in CS and food stamps. She only works 20 hrs a week (more is just too demanding!) so I'm sure her paycheck is less than $200/week. But that's still $1400 a month. I work 40+ hrs a week at my family's company and bring home $1600/month....but I get no CS or food stamps.