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DH's SD....what do birth kids call her????

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 6:00pm

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Blended Family Issues

Hi there, DH has 2 sons. He also has a SD (19) from his previous mariage (so I guess is now technically his ex SD...).

DH's SD has a baby (and another one on the way). DH is Granddad.

SD asked when we are going to make her a brother or sister. Technically any children we have will not be her siblings. And to be truthful I dont want them calling her their sister...

There are 2 reasons I dont want her to be their sister. 1. She is not biologically a sibling/ she is not a step sister, 2. She is not someone who sets a good example for small children to follow.

Is anyone else in this situation and how did you/do you deal with this?????

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 6:27pm

Ok she's 19 but mentally she is about 11. So yeah will be hurt her........ maybe a biology lesson is called for.

She also wants me to be Nana to her kids (cause DH is Grandad) but I am not their Grandmother (I havent even had my own children yet.... so Nana is way out) ...... Sticky situation. I mean of course I look after the baby when she comes to stay and stuff but being called Nana by a kid that is not even near being my Grand child is just plain weird.....

Am I getting a bit to carried away......is it only a name????

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Sun, 07/10/2011 - 7:13pm

leahmcc311 - So you called them your step-sister or step-brother when your Dad was married to their Mum and then when they divorced they were no longer your step siblings???? Can I ask what age you were when they were married??

My husband's son are to 2 different women. So his SD is only actually half sister to one. But then she grew up with DH's other son (who is no blood relation to her) and so I can see why she still calls him her brother......

CONFUSED1020's picture

Submitted by CONFUSED1020 on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 4:34pm

I was in the same situation
my husband had a sd19 also and I have 2 bio daughters. One day at dinner one of my daughters asked my husband (boyfriend at that time) that once we get married what will they be to his sd and DH answered "sisters" well sd got upset and told DH not to say that they are sisters until we were married, when he told me this I said "how about they dont ever call her sister because shes really nothing to them nor to you". She was/is a very disrespectful person to him and tried to break us up whatever it took to the point of acting very sexual towards him. When we finally got married she stopped talking to him and wants nothing to do with him (I thank God every day for this). Hs now sees how evil she was and never wants her back in his life and he also says she is not his daughter she never was nd never will be. So no, once they divorce the mom they get called by their first name. Im just glad we dont have to deal with the snake on our side.

inneedofanswers's picture

Submitted by inneedofanswers on Thu, 07/14/2011 - 8:51pm

Thanks CONFUSED1020. Did DH bring his SD up from birth or early age??

My DH has been the only Father figure in his SD's life since she was 1. She still at 19 calls him "daddy" (ehhh).

We also had a horrible period where we didnt have anything to do with her. DH said he no longer wanted anything to do with her.... that was until she got pregnant.

He said he feels a responsibility to the baby as she has no other Granddad figure. Now the second one is on the way.