BM away

gaviotas's picture

Dear all,
BM is now at Greece for 2 weeks with her BF. Good for her, but SD8 has selective mutism and other psychological issues, that are worse now.
SD peeped and pooped in bed last Saturday and peeped yesterday while we were having lunch at MIL´s house.
My DH asked me to babysit her this week and I said no (because I have 2 little babies, one is sick) and this is my last week of holiday of the year.
I did babysit her a couple of times, while my DH was working last week and could not take her back to her grandma. But this time I had to say no.
My DH realized yesterday SD is not OK, she has now eating disorders, does not respond -due to selective mutism-, has only 1 friend at school and enuresis & encopresis.
Also it´s been 5 days since BM has called SD from Greece, not my problem, but it seems to affect the child.
My DH asked yesterday for my support... What can I do, I am not her mom or psychologist. I think sometimes, he feels absolutely overwhelmed and blames me for the situation or quarrels with me instead of trying to help his daughter with a good treatment or finding a solution with his ex.
Any advice?

gaviotas's picture

thank you for your reply, yes I tried many times and in different ways to get him involved and find a new professional. We also went for some sessions of counseling to talk about this, but BM does not want to get a new treatment for the kid, so without her consent he can not move on.
I think he can do it on his own, take the risk of having an argument with BM, for the well-being of the child.
Meanwhile I completely disengage, it is very difficult to deal with this kid. I tried but I found no way to do it, it´s been 4 years and the situation is worse.
Hope my DH takes the time to work on this issue.

kathc's picture

If BM is refusing treatment for a child that OBVIOUSLY has issues that need to be addressed then he needs to GET the treatment for the child and file in court to have BM removed in medical decisions due to neglect.