Trying to figure out what is going on
DH cousin who we are very close invited to come to New Years party at their house. It is about 4 hours away. They are having it on DEC 30th. I really want to go. I told DH with all the stress of Christmas with is daughter and the. His birthday 3 days later that she always makes stressful also. I have never been allowed to celebrate with them. Let’s go to this party and have fun with fun people. Our work schedule will work out fine. He refuses. He won’t really say why. He just says it won’t work out.
so I told him I really need this escape after all the stress. I work 55 hours a week ,He works 12.
They always have dancing at their parties which we both love.
So he gets mad and says “you just won’t drop it will you, what’s the matter is little S——-(my name) not getting her way?. So he is putting me down and literally belittleing me. By calling me little.
what is he saying to me? Is he telling me he is bigger and better than me? What?
He's telling you he's a
He's telling you he's a controlling jerk. Go to the party without him.
He's still pissed and instead
He's still pissed and instead of putting the blame where it belongs for you all to be a happy blended family (or even a cordial one), he is blaming you. He either cannot see through his daughter's narcissistic bullshit, or he doesn't want to. He expects you to bow down to her feet, like he does. Since you don't, he's being an ass.
If he thinks it is "little" of you to want to keep his daughter out of your life, he is wrong. If he thinks it's "little" of you to not accept her apology, well, she has not given one, so again, he's wrong.
Of course, I'm just guessing and saying what first comes to mind when reading your post, so I could be completely off base.
I wish I could. I don’t have
I wish I could. I don’t have a car right now. The insurance totaled it Got sideswipedturning left in a double left turn lane. Other car went straight instead of turning left. His insurance gave me money for totaling it. I am waiting for the car I want. So I am at DH mercy.
How long will
How long will it take to get the car that you want? If you have the cash you can have it in a day. Frankly, even if the car was not exactly perfect, good enough would be better than being at the mercy of someone who would be exploiting the situation!
It’s a new car. I have saved
It’s a new car. I have saved up to get it. It will be about a month more.
I wish I could. I don’t have
I wish I could. I don’t have a car right now. The insurance totaled it Got sideswipedturning left in a double left turn lane. Other car went straight instead of turning left. His insurance gave me money for totaling it. I am waiting for the car I want. So I am at DH mercy.
Rent a car?
Rent a car?
Go and have a good time!
On the eve of my 50th birthday 30yo SS informed DH that he has an elective hair transplant plastic surgery scheduled for the following day and needs to be accompanied to procedure that also involved an overnight stay at a nearby hotel. We currently share a car with DH because I let SS borrow mine and he completely destroyed it. I was absolutely stunned hearing the news, - especially as DH was requesting my "permission" to go, - but decided that I will NOT let either SS or DH ruin my day. So I have scheduled activities that did not require travel beyond a 2 mile radius. The next day my sister called to wish me a happy birthday, and when she heard of what happened, hopped into her car, drove to my house, and we had an in promptu sisters day out. It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had. Go and have fun! Try to make lemon aid out of this lemon, you never know what gifts the day may bring for you!
Don't stay at home
Sounds like DH is having a 'little' snit / temper tantrum. Get out and celebrate. If it means renting a car or getting someone else to drive and go to the party with you do it. You deserve it. Have fun!!!
And when you get back home please see a counselor by yourself to gain enough strength to set boundaries with DH.
Definitely time for a exit plan
You are supporting both of them and he can not go to a party because you are not kissing SD A@@. Time to take your money and his car that you are paying for and go to your party. Tell him to take his DD and get out and support the both of them on his 12 hour job
Quit trying to understand.
Quit trying to understand. There is no understanding toxic. He is a dick. Nuff said and nuff understanding.
Inform him you are going with or without him and if he whines at all on the way there or home he can call an Uber from the point he whines and can get himself where ever he wants to go.
smh.
He doesn't want to play fair,
He doesn't want to play fair, he's a jerk. Four hours away is not an easy task alone.
My DH enjoyed spoiling our holidays with the presence of his grown kids. I changed that 3 years ago. I hold an open house for family, and friends, pot luck, for Christmas, or anytime I wish; DH is included always, his choice.. My SD57 hates my family and friends. She is jealous of anyone that even visits with me. So...she doesn't come to our open house, or other gatherings. I solved that problem.
Maybe try something at home you like. It is work, but so worth me taking control of my own happiness. My DH and SD57 are narcissist. They have to be in control, I took that away from them on an every day necessity.
It is difficult and should not be happening. I'm sorry you are going through this. I totally get it .