Exactly! Even though I love my stepmom (always have because she's pretty cool, treats me well and my dad is happy with her), I can't get past the fact that some stepkids treat their parents the way they do.

Well said, Anon2009. Being a step parent is not easy and you don't get a lot of thanks for it, if any at all. These kids don't realize how blessed they are when they have more bonus parents to love them and help them. Life would be easier if they would just gife the step a chance!

Agreed! I have never particularly cared for any of my inlaws. However, I loved my dh so I was certainly willing to tolerate, with a smile, their presence at holidays and a few other additional times of the years. IMO, it's what you do.

Unfortunately, they did not love my dh more than they hated me. They couldnt keep their mouth shut and had to push their agenda (to get rid of me) as much as possible that if finally helped to drive him away. It's not like Im loud, rude, and obnoxious. I'm basically fairly quiet, polite. Can make plenty of small talk. What would have been so difficult about "just getting along" in order to respect my dh?

Although I'd hate for it to happen to my SS, sometimes, when BM is being especially vindictive, I secretly hope that he gets someone preggo and SHE does the PAS thing with BM's grandchild! Maybe then she would realize the damage she has caused....but I doubt it.

Then I feel guilty for wishing such a thing on SS.

Well I'm of a slightly different opinion. I am not obligated to love anybody. I don't care how they are related to me. Of course I'm not a bio mother so I can't talk about the child part.

And I don't agree with hating people just because they annoy you. But yes I would have stopped loving even my mother (who was a saint that everyone loved) if she'd changed and started being a horrible, awful person.

I will not keep loving someone who is a liar, thief, molester, murderer, etc.

There are times to remove toxic people from your life no matter the bio connection.

Good kids dont realize what a good mom does because they dont have one. Most dont realize that most men are not that detail oriented.

I asked my husband to hold his ex wife to my standard of parenting which is highly comman sense. The simplist of parentong duties like a doctor, a dentist and an eye doctor. What a good mom should do. If it had not been this Mom pushing my husband neither girl would have ever went to the damn doctor. I dont have to care to parent, it is in my blood. Im a Mom.

This girl that lives here, has no idea how good she has it. Many times i have been her only advocate in this life she has had. She will never realize it. Ive given up on the fairtale of one day when she is old enough. Never happening.

That is really her loss. But a bigger loss is her father because i still believe in my heart that he is so disappointed in her actions and he recognizes that she is the picture of her bm that has he is completely disgusted with. He will always love her, but he is not blind.

Wowthisishard, I think my husbands daughter will NEVERfirgive him for leaving her mother. I think she hates him more than she hates me. I think she ignored, isolated and humiliated me to hurt him and make his life hard. Her goal was to separate us and tosee us both dead. She wanted to separate us and wanted me to be the one to keave so her father would know what it feels like to be dumped and to be alone and lonely. Now she hasn't seen her father in over a year, hasn't spoken to him in almost 5 months, and she has used this to set my husbands father against him. She is playing the victim card very well. It suits her to have no father as she gets a lot of sympathy. As long as she is getting all this sympathy and attention, and at the sane time destroying her fathers relationship with his other family members, it makes her feel she is vindicating her poor dead mother. People who hate like this will ultimately destroy themselves and everyone who chooses to stay in their lives. These people are not normal.

Your welcome, and they're not worth the angst they cause you. They are incapable of change. If you can, try to keep them out of your mind as much as possible. If you can keep them out of your home, even better. Your DH is aware of everything, trust me.. Hopefully, he will support you and keep the wolves at bay. I understand how hard this life is. But the reality is, it's not our fight to fight. We just need to set boundaries for ourselves. If these kids choose to alienate their father, well that's their choice. We did not bring them up, we did not make them the kind of people they grew into. If their parents are hurt by the way their children have turned out, then they need to sort it out. We just have to remove ourselves from the middle.