She walked into my house uninvited and threatened me
This just happened. DH and I were taking a lazy afternoon nap when we heard the door open and SD came inside and started cussing her father because he was apparently supposed to have met her at 4:00 PM for something. It was 3:00 PM, and the stupid twit didn't change her clocks when the time changed. I said 2 words, "Get out." Then she said, "She told me to get out. I'm about to go off in here." DH rushed out the door with her and they've been gone for about an hour and a half now. He didn't take his phone so I have no idea what's going on. I'm so mad that she had the nerve to show up at my house I don't know what to do. I would love to call the police and report her for trespassing, but I'm trying not to. I've got to calm down before she brings him back or toys is going to get really ugly. Any wise advice for me?
Ughhhh, how old is twit and
Ughhhh, how old is twit and did she actually cuss at him? I know it is hard to write what was actually stated, but why does she just walk in your shared home anyway? Yes, I agree..these men have no courage at all, what the heck? No kid will ever cuss at me, mine or otherwise. I would not like that statement she made to him either, (about you), it was a threat--like you had no right to tell her to get out. Why does he wisk her away? Because he is a coward, like my husband and that is the reason he has created this serious piece of work with such wonderful manners.
. I edited this post because
. I edited this post because I wasn't comfortable reading all the profanity that she used, and I'm sure some of you wouldn't care for it either.
Amazing. While they are out
Amazing. While they are out call a locksmith rekey the locks. Give DH a key and tell him she will never have a key and if he gives her one he won't get a key if you have to rekey the locks again.
Wow, SD is lucky she did not get shot for invading your home. In my state that kind of thing can get you dead in a hurry.
This is YOUR home too.... You
This is YOUR home too.... You tell husband she is not coming over again (she is an adult), he can visit with her anytime and any place away from you... Then say, "I love you," and walk off or go somewhere...Make certain she has no key and a security system is helpful too. There is no excuse for the mouth on this young lady, who is a result of his and the mother's entitled parenting. She did threaten you in your own home. I would refuse to be around anything or anybody who acted or spoke to anybody this way, much less my husband. You married a doormat too.
He should be soooo proud!
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^
I've left him. I told him
I've left him. I told him that it's especially regrettable because it is not his fault or mine, but I can't live like this. I'm currently at my second home. He's come to find me. I hope she's happy that she's ruined his marriage. I am going to think on this a while, and see if I change my mind, but I am important too.
So sorry to hear this but
So sorry to hear this but can't blame you a bit. Instead of saying, "I love you" and running out to placate SD he should have have echoed your, "Get out." Your marriage may not be over yet, but DH needs make some changes as far as his priorities.
There are some things that are totally unacceptable in a person's home, and this is one of them. Rags is right - someone could have gotten shot. In a large city near to where we live, there have been several home invasions lately. Knowing this, I don't know how I would react to someone barged into my home with such hostility.
Almost 6 years ago my SD had a meltdown in my house, she and her husband yelling and screaming at me for asking them to speak instead of having constant mumbled sideline conversations. Like your DH, mine ran out the door, leaving me to defend myself. DH has never insisted that SD respect me in my own home so she is banned until he can find the courage. On the other hand, she is an adult and probably is just as happy to stay away from me as I am from her. DH HAS though, made big changes as far as how he values the marriage and me. This is where I hope you will be. Stay strong and do not allow SD in your house until she can grow up.
Sorry You are having these
Sorry You are having these awful issues. You are the only one who knows when you have had enough. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you.
*hugs*
Good for you. Stick to your
Good for you. Stick to your boundaries; it will probably work out with you and your DH, only if you set boundaries and stand your ground.
Let it all take some time. I've been where you are; I threw my DH to SD's house and stayed in our comfortable home. It worked.
(((hugs)))
I don't think this is
I don't think this is something worth getting a divorce over. I would definitely change the locks. She doesn't live there so there's no need for her to have a key. She needs to ring the doorbell like anyone else.
What amazes me is your DH's
What amazes me is your DH's reaction (or lack thereof) to the way she talks to him. I don't think you should be calling the cops on her just yet, but I do think you need to make it crystal clear to your DH and his little snowflake that she is not welcomed there anymore. Keep your doors locked and if she has a key then change the locks all together. Invest in an automatic lock where you can change codes periodically. We invested in one of those and it has paid for its cost ten fold over the years.
How embarrassing for your dh
How embarrassing for your dh to be spoken to that way by his dd, as if he were the child instead of the other way around. I agree with the others, take a deep breath and sleep on what happen. By tomorrow things might seem completely different. Look at this as a gift that fell right into your lap. You now have every right to ban sd from your home. I wish my ss had behaved like your sd, instead of using every passive aggressive tactic he did so that his df could not see what he was doing. Break out the bottle of champagne, the toxic sd is now out of your life and home!!! WooHoo!!!
Madhatter - do not let this
:jawdrop: Madhatter - do not let this little beatch win... you will not end your marriage because of her,
first things first, change the locks, she does not get a key and she does not have easy access to your house.
You simply tell DH if he dares handing he a spare key you will nail his sack to the back of the bathroom door and use it to polish your shoes with... she's an adult, she can knock.... and make it very clear if she ever does this again.. you will call the police and get an RO against her..
Things did nothing but get
Things did nothing but get worse last night. He's defending her because she told him she was worried about where he was when he didn't show up on time. In actuality, she was worried about where is WALLET was. She needed him to pay the deposit for her wedding venue. When she was in my house cussing up a storm, all she said was that he was making her late. That doesn't sound to me like she was worried about his well being. I've told him that in order to fix things between us that he has to tell her, on the speaker phone in my presence, that she is to respect me or there will be consequences and that she must apologize to me for trespassing on my property and that she is never to do so again. He says that she apologized to him and that's all that needs to be said. Still no respect for me. I'm outta there.
This is exactly what happened
This is exactly what happened to me. No apologies from SD56. DH did apologize, but will not set his DD straight or tell her to respect me. Therefore, SD is not allowed in my home. It has been almost 2 years and SD is banned from being around me or our home, when I am home.
DH can go visit her and her family any time, just don't include me. DH is has never been happy with my boundaries; but no respect from SD, no going back. I don't think I could accept her apology now, because I now know it would be fake.
With all of this said, no more! DH and I have our life and she has her pitiful life.
Hang in there!
Just wondering what she said
Just wondering what she said when he informed her that she had forgotten to turn back her clock. I mean, if you forgot to set your clock back wouldn't you apologize if it caused such turmoil? Wouldn't DH expect you to apologize if you barged into SD's house and made a scene like SD did? Still, it's on SD and DH. You should never have to put up with SD's crazy, intrusive invasions into your home. Nor should you put up with DH's lack of concern for you. You deserve an apology from both of them.
Give DH the choice of acting like a caring husband or possibly losing his marriage.
I agree, Sandye21. I am owed
I agree, Sandye21. I am owed an apology, but I'm not going to get one. I have given him the choice, and he's made it. He's not going to make her apologize. He's not even telling her that she's the reason that I left. He's probably not going to tell her that there's an eviction notice hanging on the door right now that gives him 30 days to get out of my houses.He may insist that I get a lawyer, instead of opting for the uncontested divorce, because he thinks he might get something out of it, but you see, the houses and most everything in them are mine. They were mine before we ever met, and he's not entitled to one dime of the equity since we've both maintained separate checking accounts, and he's never even paid one red cent toward them. He has lived with me scott free for 9 years, and I allowed it because I loved him, and I was the main breadwinner of the household. He's used his paycheck to buy boats, cars, trucks, motorcycles, and of course, to keep up his precious child. The gravy train just ran out, and that means daddy's pockets are going to have lots more to do than dish out money for her once he has to pay rent and utilities somewhere. If nothing else, I can take comfort in the fact that he's going to be dead broke. He's called me every name in the book because I left him over this, but in the end, it's really his fault for never giving her consequences and for not insisting that she apologize to me now. He says that she apologized to him, and that's all that needs to be said. He can go live with her. Heck, he pays most of her rent anyway. Go get your money's worth. I'm still so mad that I can't even cry over this yet. I loved him, and I still do, but I deserve better than this.
Yes, you DO deserve better
Yes, you DO deserve better than this. Good you are putting DH on notice that SD's and his actions are unacceptable. Your DH's reaction to all of this is disappointing and low. If he tries to get any equity out of your house, you will be able to charge him 'rent' for the period he lived off of you. If he decides to swallow his pride and insist SD apologize to you, he should come back into your home with the understanding that he pays for his expenses.
It's actually moo. It's a moo
It's actually moo. It's a moo point, like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo. }:)
So happy you got it!
So happy you got it!
It amazes me!!!! My DH is
It amazes me!!!! My DH is the same with standing and watching his DD be a bitch and denying it. My DH never has had my back and he never will. That is a fact and it took me years to accept it.
If my SD56 walked in my house and said one word, such as yours did, I would hold the door open and tell her "Out and never come back". Then I would look at my DH and say "You too, if you don't like it". They know it too.
Never let her come back is the best way to rid yourself of that nonsense.
OK...You guys made me laugh
OK...You guys made me laugh over the "moot" vs "mute" vs "moo".
Last night, DH went back and forth between cussing me and begging. So, today, I got to talking to my sister, who has experience 5 stepkids, and she said that maybe I was asking for too much by wanting an apology because he has no control over if she apologizes or not, but he does have control over her feeling like she's able to show up at any time just because her daddy lives there, and he should tell her that, no matter what, she was never to come to our home. So, I relented quite a bit because she was making good sense.
I told him that, and his response was, "She's already got trust issues, and I'm the only constant in her life. I'm not going to hurt her feelings like that." I guess my feelings don't matter at all. Oh well, I hope she's worth it.
What???? Hurt her
OMGosh......hurt feelings????
^^^THIS!!!^^^ I agree with
^^^THIS!!!^^^ I agree with about expecting apology. It wouldn't be genuine anyway. Worried about hurt feelings after SD's inexcusable behavior? It appears your DH's highest priority is SD, not you. So -- make yourself your highest priority. He doesn't deserve you!!! Let him go - and all of the garbage that he brought with him. Like Sammy said, "Your life will be amazing."
"She's already got trust
"She's already got trust issues, and I'm the only constant in her life. I'm not going to hurt her feelings like that."
He is not doing her any favours, in fact he is setting her up for a terrible life. Sad example of very poor parenting.
This man is hysterical. Truly
This man is hysterical. Truly knee-slapping funny. I want to see one of the late night comedians take him on.
Your heart will break for the 9 years but that's temporary.
When you find your life wonderful this will become a closed chapter, distant, dusty, dead.
That guy will be living in some shipping container with his "trust issue" kid. Good riddance.