Selfish adult SD close to pushing my final button
SD (27)who lives with us just started a new job so now we all need to leave the house around the same time. Last night around midnight, she took a shower and we could hear her every move because the shower is on other side of our bedroom wall. So today DH asks her (a little too soft I might add) to take her showers early in the evening or in the morning. I then chimed in and told her we could hear the shower door sliding open and close, and the water running and it disrupts our sleep. Since DH doesn't have the balls to actually tell her why we we're bringing up the issue. In the meantime I've been exhausted all day because of the lack of sleep.
At this point, moronic SD starts going on about how she decided not to take showers in the morning anymore, and she'd rather take them at night so we don't clash in the bathroom in the morning, blah blah blah. Now we just told the stupid B that we can hear her taking a shower. So DH then tells her again . . try to take it earlier in the evening. She looked at him like . . I can't promise anything . . .then retreated to her room and closed the door.
If this becomes an issue again I'm going to snap. This is the reason why adults need their own space so they can live on their own terms. I have a feeling this is going to get ugly, and I don't want to live in a war zone. But I don't trust myself to keep my temper in check on this. So we're supposed to walk around exhuasted because she doesn't want to take shower early in the evening or get up earlier in the morning and we're supposed to deal with it? This is the nightmare my DH created . . a selfish, self-centered little twit with absolutely no common sense.
Has anyone else had to deal with this type of foolishness?
That's exactly what I'm
That's exactly what I'm afraid of. . . . she'll comply for a week or so and then go back to the same antics. I was thinking the same thing. . .maybe I should give her a taste of my temper (she hasn't seen it yet and she's been lucky). If I go off, maybe she'll move in with her boyfriend because DH didn't teach her self-reliance. Thanks for your insight.
Shannon61 I say turn off the
Shannon61 I say turn off the hot water at 9pm and keep the cold water on so that you can flush the toilet and then turn it back on at 6am she will get the message and when she said she can't promise anything she drew the line in the sand and you need to walk right over that line and tell her this is how it is - I expect to be respected in my own home and if you can't there is the door - and may I ask does she pay rent and if not then I would tell her you live here rent free - this is my house my rules you want you own house your own rules there is the door - are you getting the theme of there is the door - lol Good luck!!
Can you put another shower in
Can you put another shower in the basement?
Why would she do that?
Why would she do that?
I totally hear you on the
I totally hear you on the banging around. SD22 lived with us for a few months recently, and she has no clue how to turn a doorknob to close the door. Every door she touches she slams, every time. Cabinet doors, interior and exterior doors. Sometimes the house would shake. No clue. And it didn't matter what hour of the day or night or whether someone was sleeping. And that's only part of the overall disrespect. So annoying. So ecstatic that she is moved out. Wish she were much farther away.
put a lock on the bathroom
put a lock on the bathroom door, keep/hide the key in your room, move tooth brush and any face cleaning products to the kitchen sink and have dh tell her she will no longer have a choice... }:)
if she doesn't want to stink, she'll HAVE to take a shower in the morning
i'd find some way to lock her
i'd find some way to lock her out, and give her no choice, ok so kitchen sink would never work, just lock the bathroom all together at YOUR curfew for it.
That's the problem with
That's the problem with living with "other adults", especially when you can not stand to live with them. I had the same problem with my SD (19) when she lived with us. I was a basket case. Everything she did was selfish and lazy and didn't care about anything that had to do with picking up after herself, etc. I kicked her out last summer and I am soooo happy to have my household back. And YES, these self-entitled bitches believe it is "their household" even though it is you and your DH that march off to work every day and pay the bills.
My SD will NEVER EVER move back in with us again. My DH tried to bring it up recently, and I FIRMLY said ABSOLUTELY "NO, I do not like your daughter, I do not want to have a relationship with her, no, she is not moving back in".
She IS an ADULT, no longer a CO-DEPENDENT. Make sure your DH understands the difference.
She is living under your roof, and it is a privilege for her to stay there. You need to establish boundaries, or unfortunately for her, there is the door, and don't let it hit her in the ass on her way out........
Shannon - 27 SD needs to find
Shannon - 27 SD needs to find an apartment. Yes, I realize you know that but DH doesn't.
Okay now to Plan B. I think there are some good suggestions here - especially the one about turning off the water. }:)
Seriously, this is your house not hers. Did she move back in or just never flew the nest?
Time for this older fledgling to fly baby fly. So how do you "assist" with that?
How about a nice trip to the nearest new apartment near her new job? How about offering to buy her a new couch? Does she have any friends who need a roommate?
You could always tell her that she must move out by April 15th. DH will probably go all gaga but at least the conversation is starting, right?
Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it just might work. Anything to get her out of YOUR house and YOUR life.
Lord, maux! What have we done
Lord, maux! What have we done with these folks? Ooops - shouldn't have said "we" should have said "they."
Degreed English major and it is your fault? :jawdrop:
I see the same entitlement issues with the grandskids. The entire world revolves around them. Can you say "child centric" home to the max?
It's almost as if the adult skids have taken the worst parts of their upbringing and then amplified it. GAH! GAH! GAH!
Yeah, I know I'm old fashioned but let me ask you this - when you were growing up did you evah evah tell your Mother "I won't eat that?"
What about your kids - did you allow this?
Yeppers grandskids do it every single meal. No more! This old bird is done with that crap. I will fix what we eat and I don't care if they never eat another meal in my home. Let the Princess and her DH deal with this. Go to Mickey D's or Burger King and buy them food - that's what they are used to anyway.
I told SD15 that she needs to
I told SD15 that she needs to shower everyday. Its gross not to shower, especially when you work out every day. She has been taking one in the morning but I HATE being in the shower and having it go cold all of the sudden. I told her she needs to take one at night and she said, "then my hair is hard to deal with the next day." She took one this morning anyway. Am I being a total selfish bitch to tell her to NOT take one in the morning?
First off, thanks so much for
First off, thanks so much for your comments/input. To mominator . .you've hit it head on. I can't wait until I can say the same thing. I've never been this miserable in my own household. We asked her to clean up behind herself, but the triffling B will leaves her dirty dishes in the sink for 3 days until DH gets in her ass about it. I've never seen her wipe off the stove or table for that matter.
I'd love to put her in the basement . . along with another shower. She went away to school a few years ago and moved back home w/daddy. She then went back to school, completed her Master's and is still here because she wanted to save for a house. DH didn't want to give her a move out deadline because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Thank goodness the boyfriend stepped up and they're getting married next year. We married a few years ago and I moved in with them and have been living with this annoying nightmare every since.
She pays a pittance in rent and I posted last week that my stupid DH wanted to give her back her rent for February because she has to pay a $500 deductible after a car accident. I told him "over my dead body."
Reading these posts also reminded me of her annoying habit of slamming doors, stomping feet, slamming the microwave door, yakking loudly on the phone. . . but she doesn't slam kitchen cabinets . .she leaves them open which is even worse. She's also good at leaving her nasty gunk all over the bathroom mirror . . pathetic and disgusting.
Finally, I didn't want to move in with them and I miss my quiet, clean, apartment where I had peace of mind and control over who came and who went. My buddy has asked what I would do if SD and fiance call off the wedding. I told her I was saving my money because I can't take more than another year of SD's antics. Her BM didn't even want her under her roof, and now I know why. Who wants to deal with a self-entitled, lazy, triffling, annoying, selfish creature when they don't have to? We already have enough to deal with.
Your house- your rules! The
Your house- your rules!
The more uncomfortable you make it, the more incentive she has to look for another place- where she can live a motr independent life- like she should be at 27! I liked the idea above about shutting off the water heater!
Yes I deal with this all the
Yes I deal with this all the time. My DH 21 year old daughter just recently moved back in with us -- said she had "changed" -- that her lifes experiences had changed her, and she was better -- this was how she convinced her dad to let her move back in with her. He then tells me that "if it was up to me, I'd let her move back in." She was in the next room. So now if I say no, its all on me. I was ticked. He had kicked her out of the house twice already -- and for 8 months this last year she was not allowed in our home because of the way she has treated me.
So yes, now that she is living in our home -- she makes tons of noise. Came home one morning I was still sleeping, and she turns her music up super loud and wakes me up. Leaves messes in the kitchen. I don't think she could clean up after herself if she tried. We ask her not to burn candles in her room, but she still does. I asked her one night to clean up after herself because she was making her 17 year old brother dinner -- her dad and I come home that night after 3 hours after I had asked her, and there were 3 other dishes in the sink, and she had not done the dishes that I'd asked her to do. So he asked her to do the dishes. He had to stand over her to make sure she used hot water and soap (wasn't going to), and he asked her to do the 3 other dishes too while she was at it (just put them in the dishwasher), and she refused because they weren't hers. Said it was the principal! I blew a gasket! She is living in our home for free, eating our food for free -- doing NOTHING -- but can't do three measley dishes.
His other kids are also equally as loud. His 17 year old's bedroom is right above ours, and EVERY night I have to go upstairs and ask him to turn down his tv so I can sleep -- EVERY NIGHT. Sometimes I have to go up several times. It's ridiculous. He's loud -- slams stuff --- stomps up and down the stairs -- slams doors.
I finally started wearing ear plugs so I could get a decent nights sleep. Right now I'm house sitting for a friend because I needed a break from all of them. The one I can't take it anymore from is the 21 year old though -- she needs to move out. She is selfish and self centered, and just flat out mean. She needs to go away and grow up. I'm simply tired. Glad I found this place.