Sadness this weekend
DH 's estranged daughter graduates college this Sunday. He only paid 60k for the experience and has reached out many times, calling her last weekend and even asking her who was invited and she didn't miss a beat in telling him who was going, but mentioned not a word about inviting him and his parents.
So today he tells me he has been getting emails from the college about where to park, and the events for family this whole weekend. He tells me he is even considering going, a 10 hour drive, and being there incognito. I told him he needs to let her go. I understand the hurt he must feel, but she has no value for him or his family other than what money they provide. I never witnessed these girls ever having reciprocal respect for the man. He only existed for their needs.
How cruel not to invite him!
So no surprise dh is working all weekend. Trying to take his mind off the pain.
I don't know. Maybe he
I don't know. Maybe he should go. Do it for himself. Not see her however, that would make him look groveling. However, it is a very small college so hard to be incognito.
Then he tells me that maybe
Then he tells me that maybe she didn't invite him because she didn't have enough tickets? Overflow will be in the gym.
I did tell him that was ludicrous.
Maybe he needs to go to feel like part of things.
Maybe he should go just so he
Maybe he should go just so he gets to see it. Don't try to mix with the other side of the family and the girl or he will just get hurt even more. I would have a hard time not at least having the satisfaction of seeing her graduate. It would be sort of a closure event. He did what he could. Got her an excellent education. Now --- drop the rope.
Oh, I would go. I would not
Oh, I would go. I would not only go I would be front and center so that the kid and the X and her family all knew I was there. I would also make it a point to broadcast that I was there to celebrate the result of my $60K investment. Not to mention that I would present a few subtle hints at what the X did not contribute financially to the daughter's education.
Most of all, I would have a great time doing it. }:)
My Skid invited the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool to his HS graduation, his mom and I insisted that they get an invitation, he also invited them to his USAF BMT graduation, his tech school graduation, and his promotion ceremonies.... nope, not one of the Sperm Clan showed up, ever. We did not want them there but thought it was important that they be there because it would be important to the kid.
He told me after the fact on those events that he only invited them because he knew his mom and I would tell him to though he did not care if they were there or not and that he knew they would not even send a card much less actually show up.
Truly sad! I would go. He
Truly sad! I would go. He will know that he always has and continues to do the right thing. He will NOT be the one with regrets one day...and it will be regretted!
The Ex's family did this to
The Ex's family did this to their own father! They are all this way. The Ex's mother is the grand dame queen.
If he show up it just reinforces that he is the terrible father. Frankly they don't view hiim as anything other than something to satisfy their needs, he failed to do it, so he is out.
I agree tog. He shared with
I agree tog. He shared with me last night that a few times over the past year when he had called her, she told he NOT to call anymore. This was after he had called her to get in contact with her sister---the very sister who took back her first payment of a cosigned student loan and has refused to make any payments or have any contact with my dh! This daughter for years would see the awful behavior but blame it on her sister or mother.
Both girls got 25 k each from a little trust fund that his parents had. They show up last year and get the money, and had a nice dinner at their home! Of course they ride off into the sunset. I never would have given them the money and certainly not made dinner for people who had treated my son like shit for years. So of course they have not heard anything from these parasites, and of course no invite for them for grand daughter's graduation!
Honestly, the one who stiffed him on the college loan is done with him. She has stabbed him in the back so many times....
This one talks when he calls....all about her. She has the attitude of total entitlement from her very narcissist mother. The final chapter in his relationship is not written yet. They have his number, and I mean literally. They know how to get him to jump.
He does not need to chase up to the college. He needs to walk away and value himself.