To "Obey" or not to "Obey" the Skids
Well, the stuff hit the fan tonight. My DH contacted his son to set up a time to try and work things out with his son, by having an in-person meeting.
They converstaion immediately got tense and heated because my DH's son and his fiance are upset that I continue to post here - which basically means THEY CAN'T RESIST SNOOPING ON ME - and they are mad that they CAN'T CONTROL ME.
My DH's son and fiance ahd "asked" that I not post here any longer, because it upsets them. They don't like people knowing their business - and that I am acussing them of things that aren't true.
Basically, they are upset about what I am saying concerning his fiance. If you read my posts, you will see that I ALWAYS said "my stepson and his fiance". I never mentioned my SS's fiance alone.
My SS claims that I have called his fiance "manipulative". The ONLY person I called manipulative was my DH's EX WIFE. 
So, they are continuing to snoop and read my posts, yet they can't even read them correctly! :?
They are VERY upset that I continue to post here - even though it is all ANONYMOUS. It really pisses them off that I won't stop.
They don't like seeing things about them posted here for you to see - even though it is all ANONYMOUS!!! Our answer to that is "SO, STOP SNOOPING"! What you don't know, can't upset you!
The conversation ended where my DH's son basically told his father that - "When you want to start a relationship, call me." But we know that this really means is - "When you are ready to obey us, and do what we say, and stop your wife from venting on these boards, then call, and we will then allow you to be in a relationship with us."
My question is - would you OBEY or NOT OBEY!?
My DH and I already know what we are going to do - but we are curious - and it might help the SNOOPY SKIDS see how other stepparents answer this question.
Heh, you should have just
Heh, you should have just stuck with total denial.
"I don't know what you are talking about" , let them spin out and act like paranoid idiots, they obviously have no real lives if they are on here looking to see what you are saying to us mystery internet peoples.
Yes HRNYC it is not snooping
Yes HRNYC it is not snooping to read postings on a public board. However, this site is clearly marked "Where stepparents come to vent" and not only do a lot of us have heaps to vent about, it is one of the few places where we can without driving our friends insane. In regards to your statement 'I don't think I would like it if I were getting critized in public" how was this criticism public when no names or addresses were used. It was an anonomous posting, and given that it appears these adult stepbrats trolled through the site and managed to find themselves in "not the mom's" posting, then they musstt have recognised their behaviour, if it were not true I am sure they would have publicly responded instead of crying to daddy.
As I said the site is Where Step Parents Come to Vent - NOT where step kids come to try and get more ammunition to attack step mother with. I think what they did was similar to eavesdropping on a conversation, and the old saying says Eaves droppers hear no good about themselves. Clearly these people have no respect for not the mom, or for their father or they would not be behaving in such a way.
At least not the mom posted on this site, and did so without using names, it would appear that not only the stepkids but their partners felt the need to make it public within their family circle - why, to cause more trouble and upset their father. I agree no one would want to be critized in public, but in this case it was not the mom who got critized publicly and even lowly stepmothers don't like to be critized, but who cares, we are seen by in-laws and stepkids as "just the second wife" not because we are all bad people some of us make better parents and daughter-in-laws than NO:1 wife, but we are all being tarred with the one brush and we don't like it, we don't like being hated just because we married someone's father, and we have to put up with it in public forums also - a lot of these sk old and young seem to feel Facebook is a place where you go to badmouth your stepparent, call them names and make them the butt of their jokes and don't mind making up stories to get sympathy from their family and friends. Can you imagine how they would react to being told that stepmom/dad didn't like what was written on facebook, so they needed to stop writing on it. Yeah, they'd stop wouldn't they. Or else they would say "If you don't like it, don't read it. I'm thinking the second option is more likely. If we vent on this site to keep our sanity - SO WHAT. Better to let of steam here and keep it together at home.
Oh I cannot resist this one.
Oh I cannot resist this one.
Dear not-the-moms skids,
My name is alwaysanxious. guess what, you are reading this board and my SO's and skids business. You don't know who they are. Now let me explain this like you are five. I don't know who you are either. So even though I know a situation, I don't know whose situation this is.
Get a life and stop worrying what your stepmom does. You are grown and out of the house.
Signed,
Another annoyed stepmom
Not the mom, never obey anyone but yourself.
You stay here as long as you like.
No i'm can't win. LOL
No i'm can't win. LOL
Your SS and his fiance need
Your SS and his fiance need to back the F off and understand you can do whatever the hell you want!! Seriously, who in the hell do these two brats think they are?? They have no business dictating what you can and cannot do with your life and your thoughts.
Continue to post. It's all anonymous and names are never mentioned. I have an idea.....if they don't like it, they should stop reading it!! Seriously, these two children need to grow up.
What they are doing is called emotional blackmail. How dare they try pulling this crap with you and your DH.
So to the bratty children...this is for you. Knock off the childish tantrums and stop trying to manipulate your father and step-mother. You might want to consider why your Step-mother is on here reading and posting. It's not because you made her life sunshine and roses, otherwise she wouldn't have started looking for this site in the first place.
Oh and Not-The-Mom - I'm
Oh and Not-The-Mom - I'm sorry you and your DH are being put through this kind of blackmail.
Thanks for the input, but
Thanks for the input, but really, why do people keep suggesting that I change my ID name - do you honestly think that will help? - NOT! :O
They found me the first time by snooping, mining for information and stalking me, what makes you think they won't do it again?
I know these boards are a public forum, but that doesn't change the fact that these two are still snooping. Besides, you didn't answer the question.......would you obey or not obey?
Dear HRNYC, if you really feel that way, maybe you should NOT be here. These boards are to VENT after all, why are you here anyway?
What do you want to bet that HRNYC is my SS's FIANCE?
No i wouldn't obey. They can
No i wouldn't obey. They can bite me.
Cartain posters on this site
Cartain posters on this site are here for no other reason than to stir shit up. You can decide for yourself what side each poster is on.
Are SS and fiance upset
Are SS and fiance upset because they can possibly see there is some truth to what you are posting? If they were so sure they are in the right they wouldn't be insistent that you stop posting your experiences. Yes, they read your posts and the only reason they can possibly know you are writing about them is because the events you are writing about actually occurred. If you wrote lies how would they recognize themselves? Shaman29 is right - this is blackmail. I am sure you are a lot like me and this site is the only place you can go to be assured it is NOT all your imagination, you are NOT over-reacting and you deserve to be respected in your own home. How many times have you ran into a stepmother who wants to share her history with rotten skids? Before I found this site I, like most SMs lived with the misconceived hope that someday SD would learn I was not so bad after all. How many movies have we seen where SM finally wins over a skid? Ya, that's Hollywood! I wrestled with the virtually impossible task of making SD "feel comfortable" in my home, kissing her behind and enduring abuse for decades. If my SD reads my posts and recognizes herself maybe she should ask why.
I say keep posting. They are
I say keep posting. They are weirdos. You can't do anything about that, and it's fun to wind them up and watch them spin.
I would stop. I wouldn't
I would stop.
I wouldn't want family and friends (or even some day dad)to blame me for father and son not speaking.
I wouldn't have anything to do with SS and his DF after this.
I guess my only question is
I guess my only question is why do they care? My stepmother is probably on all kinds of message boards...I wouldnt know. I dont dig into her personal activities. I have my own hobbies and pasttimes. I have a family. I choose to see the side of her that my dad sees, and funny how that works, we get all along really well. Have these kids not been talked to about adult boundaries?
I would explain that posting
I would explain that posting here keeps you from writing it all out in a "tell all" book.
But that is just me and I am truly evil.
No-I would never stop doing
No-I would never stop doing something that was good for me for my ss. I know that I sacrificed many things for many years to try and make a situation work and it failed miserably. So I am done with that. I would never post names or identifying information on here so I dont feel as if I would be harming anyone or maliciously spreading gossip. What I would do is let these "kids" know that you are willing to discuss with them anything you blog about. I do a lot of bitching in my blogs, but the issues involved are all things I am willing and ready to discuss with my ss, dh or inlaws. In fact, I would prefer to have a healthy productive discussion with all of them about the issues, but since that it is not possible I come here and discuss it.
At least that's what I would do. I would sorta love it if my mil stumbled upon a blog and took me up on my offer to discuss all the issues anytime something occurs-to actually producitvely discuss and try to resolve things. Or my ss-if he read some of this stuff and came to me with questions about why I said what I did-I would be more than thrilled to sit down and explain to him why I feel the way I do. Of course that would involve both of them giving me more than 5 seconds of thought-which apparently they are not interested in doing.
NICE
NICE
Dear not the mom---I too am
Dear not the mom---I too am from Mi. You are more then welcome to tell the family that your new name is godess-clueless then they can stalk my postings. If I ever suspected that anyone in my family was taking the time to stalk me I would be very tempted to make up such over the top stories just to make it worthwhile for them to snoop.
How can they even suggest they are seeing your postings??? Unless actual names are given every situation on here has constantly been repeated. Someone else could be posting.
I was on another site for a while. My DH had seen me typing and later when I was gone from the house he went on the site. In that situation there were very few daily postings so it was obvious which new member had posted. He was upset that I was "never letting the past with his daughters be past history" To my surprise he actually agreed and liked the answers given by several of the other posters.
On this site there are so many postings it would be difficult to say with any certainty that it was about your own family. So , either throw in a story now and then that would cause them LOTS of embarressment or just deny.
Just change your name, so
Just change your name, so they will shut up! The truth must be hurting them.
However, you are free to post whatever you like. They are attempting to emotionally blackmail you, which should be a crime.
I would not care, take responsibility for, or worry about in any way what people say about the state of relations between your DH and his 'children', who are legally grown adults.!! That is just a control technique and I refuse to be controlled like that.
What does your husband say?
If the cap fits wear it!
If the cap fits wear it! cheeseeeeeeee louiseeeeee
What? They are NOT mature enough to see things from another perspective?
The worst thing that happened here was that they saw their own negativity from your perspective, the TRUTH can HURT!
I'd stop worrying about it, continue to VENT, and to hell with them. What is the worst they can do? Do not dignify their crap.
Since when is an adult in control of another adult's actions? Worse yet...WHEN THE HELL DID KIDS GET TO BE IN CHARGE??
Have at it kidddo, see ya!!
No I would certainly not obey
No I would certainly not obey them, but I would change my screen name, better yet, keep the old one for an odd post or two and have a new one for when you really need to vent. If they find you again, then it is because they recognize theselves by what you have written, therefore your postings must be true otherwise they would not recognize theseves would they.
It is not their place to tell you what you can and cannot do and if you need to vent well go for it. I can imagine their reaction if you told them to stop doing something that upset you. They'd probaby do it all the more for the sheer pleasure of getting at you.
Unfortunately these types of stepkids are usually spoilt little brats who want everything there own way, and nothing is going to change that.
Word to adult step kids - grow up, get your own life you have no right to tell your step mother or anyone else for that matter not to post on this site, unless of course you are being named. If family and friends are recognising you from anonomous postings, and you don't like it because it paints you in a bad light, then there is only one thing you can do. Change your obnoxious behaviour and behave like adults.
In answer to your question -
In answer to your question - hell no!!!! I would not obey the SKIDs. Absolutely cannot believe that they spent what must have been hours, days or weeks, trawling through posts in order to recognise themselves and make threats to you about it. They should get a life! This is on a par with rubbish that goes on on Facebook. I deactivated my account so that I would NOT have to read my SDs rubbish any more.
Perhaps I will tell my SDs about Steptalk so that they might punish me by not having anything to do with me for 2 years. Sounds like a plan!
Thanks everyone for your
Thanks everyone for your postings.
Yes, they are spoiled, controlling brats!
It really isn't all their fault, their mother has "programmed" them to be this way through years of over-indulgence, and catering to their every wish.
In order to indulge them she event went so far as to try and illegally obtain my husband's share in the family home after its sale. She claimed the money was "for the kids".
First, before she sold the home, she threatened to sue my DH for money. My DH's lawyer told him to not worry about it, because she signed a divorce agreement, and she has to stick by it.
Her next move was when she finally decided to move to a condo after the skids came of age and left home. She sold the house, but didn't tell my DH she sold it. They live two hours away from us, so this is why we didn't know of the house sale. Then the EX tried to get all the money from the sale of the home, by not telling the Title Company about the divorce agreement. :O
If it hadn't been for my DH's mother - who informed him of the sale - the EX would have gotten away with it. You should have seen her face when we showed up for the closing of the house!
The Title Company people were VERY surprised to see us, and concerned. They would have been part of an illegal activity if she had gotten away with it.
She doesn't seem to care how her actions adversely affect others, as long as she gets her own way. This is the way the skids are also.
It looks like my DH's son is marrying someone who is the same way. My DH tried to warn his son, but you know how that went.
I am not divulging anything here my DH hasn't said to his son and his fiance. Also, my DH's mother passed away last year, so she will not be in danger of receiver their wrath about what I shared here.
Thanks again for all your input.
Happy Halloween! BOOOOOOOOO
I have to say that I'm quite
I have to say that I'm quite shocked by the audacity of these two "adults" thinking they can control your behavior. I can't help but conclude that this is a symptom of having had way too much power over the adults in their lives. There's no way in hell I'd obey these children on this issue or any other. Unless they failed government or civics classes they should know that this is a free country with freedom of speech in our Bill of Rights. And, they are free NOT to read what's posted here and to get a life.
You are right Maux, what do I
You are right Maux, what do I have to lose now? If the skids think what I have posted in the past is juicy, wait until they see the really good stuff I have been holding back?
I will let them be on pins-and-needles for while before (or if) I decide to share the really juicy stuff. Just the fact that they will never know if or when I will do it is enough torture for them.
They need to get at life and stop obsessing about what I am up to!
Keep posting as much as you
Keep posting as much as you like. Your steps are not the boss of you. Last time I checked we have freedom of speech in this country. You are not naming names so nobody knows who they are. You are not breaking any laws. They need to get a life and mind their own business!
I have to also agree with
I have to also agree with previous posters who said that the "adult" skids see too much TRUTH in your postings.
The reason I agree is because when I first started reading people's posts/blogs on this website, I was ASTOUNDED by how similar SO MANY stories were to my OWN!!
So, as to whether or not another adult needs to "obey" a younger "adult"...well, I think you know what my answer would be!
Oh, and for the stalking, trolling skids of Not-the-mom...GET A LIFE!! If you don't like what people say about you...DO SOMETHING TO CHANGE IT. And by change it, I mean change the only person you can...YOURSELF!