If skids are that age there is no reason he should even be communicating with her. And if they have to it should be extremely minimal considering skids ages, and ONLY about skids.

That was completely inappropriate and my man would hear about it real quick...and so would the fucking neighborhood too!!! That is doghouse shit right there!!!! That to me anyway is emotional infidelity....FUCK THAT SHIT!!!

I have to admit. My ex says this to me a lot. Those exact words in a text "Thanks for being you".

We have no drama. We just do what we need to get our kids taken care of. It is a joint effort, my ex, me, my DH, my mom, ex's mom. We all work hard to have well adjusted kids and work together to get them where they need to be ect. I wouldn't think too much of it, if there was nothing else inapropriate in the texts, it was obviously about their "child" (albeit she is grown...). It is not easy to raise kids apart... together. And even though they are grown, it is nice that they can keep each other informed without drama.

I would let it go. If there is something wrong with this, than... I am super guilty.

Yes I would let it go.

Let's think about the text itself... "Thanks for being you". Well, who is she? She is the mother of his kids. And apparently a decent one? Maybe? Lets think about what he could have said instead:

"you are the best"
"thanks for being such a great mom"
"thanks for marrying me, having my kids, raising them, getting divorced and still being a good mom"
"thanks for being wonderful"
"thanks, I am still in love with you".

I mean really... thanks for being you, is a safe way to tell someone you appreciate them, for just being them, and not being a nasty bitch like so many of the BM's we read about here.

I think it was harmless...

It all depends on the individuals. If they have an open and above board PLATONIC friendship that is very different than when one or both still have some residual "feelings".

My DH had ONS years after his divorce which produced the second crotch dropping. I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER trust the two of them no matter what they say.

DH gets really pissed off at me and says he has no feelings for her - BUT no one can say one thing negative about her. I refer to her as "Perfect Pam" - although in reality she's a total tramp who was a horrible mother and wife.

And my knowing what is going on with my husband and another woman is way different than knowing someone else's salary. One is completely my business and the other is not.

OK now being honest it could have been nothing or it could be like my ex and my current DH. My ex was really good and throwing out "suggestive texts" that are borderline flirtatious to see if I bite. Even with my DH when we would "break up" he would do the same thing. Men are like that, so if I were you I'd ask him if theres still something there. Hell I would flip out.

I wouldn't feel comfortable if my DH wrote a text like that to his ex either. It would seem inappropriate for sure. I would definitely ask him about it and ask how he would feel if it were the other way around. Men tend to be even more jealous than women and if you said that it would make him second guess his flirty compliments to ex.

EX would probably feel like she is still real special to your DH and THAT would piss me right off! Ok getting angry now, for you. Good luck. Keep us posted.

I don't think it's worth mentioning. We've all heard of "you've got to know when to hold them" and this falls under that category. It would be different had you read . . "honey I love you and miss you more than you'll ever know" . . blah blah blah. I think the text was innocent.

If you mention it, DH will be sure to keep you away from his cell phone. Keep quiet and check the phone again in a few weeks .. just to make sure things are what they should be. Good luck.

I wouldn't like it. It would seem like a secret club that I didn't belong to. Would her say it in front of you? I hardly think so. But, and this is a BIG "but", there are lots of things I say about my DH to my family that I would never want him to hear or read. Everyone has secrets...usually, they are harmless.

Stepaside, thats a great idea. Men don like it when tables are turned

Good point, men can dish it but the sure can't take it.

I don't think that looking at texts from my DH is "snooping".

In my opinion my DH is eaten up with guilt over his leaving BM (decades ago long before me) so he wants to paint her as a saint. She is a total 0tramp. Or maybe I should say she was a tramp. She is now an older woman who is ultra religious.

I accept "some" of this but I draw the line at his having any interaction with her.

I looked at his texts once and vowed never to do it again because it made me so angry.
Dh told me that he had inadvertently sent a text for me to his daughter at the very beginning of them getting back together. Things were testy between them.
The main part of the text was very general, but ended with "I love you."
DD then sends text back saying she was puzzled by the love you.
So instead of dh standing up and admitting it was to his wife, he texts back that he loves her because she is coming back in his life.
They later had an argument on the phone and I overheard her saying "you don't love me". This was before I snooped. Did not make sense to e at the time.
I never told dh I snooped, but I still feel slighted by his inability to admit that the text was for his wife.
And this is from a man who prides himself on never lying!!!
If I only could bring this up.

I was cheated on SO many times in my past that I now am of the trust but verify camp.

If you looked at his messages and calls, then you were already harbouring suspicions about something. There is a deeper issue going on I think. Perhaps you could open up the lines of communication by discussing with him whatever it was you were worrying about that made you look at those messages.

If he needs anything YOU are supposed to be the one who is there for him. I find DH's comment "thank you for being you" odd, but I find the ex remark downright inappropriate. There does not need to be that level of communication when the Skids are grown.