During the marathon phone conversation with SD 34 I kept telling her that she needed to work on her relationship with her father before contacting our bios. Bios do not want to be contacted right now since adult middle aged Skids are being so ugly to H and me.

SD 34 had plenty of excuses for why she could not and has not worked on her relationship with H:

1. SD called one time 6 months earlier and called at Christmas.(yeah 2 years ago and when H droped off step grands presents she was not friendly and would not let him in her house beyond the laundry room - yeh H felt that you really wanted to seee him NOT!)
2. Attempts at a relationship are going nowhere fast.(What attempts? 2 legitimate non fussing calls in three years??????)
3. SD does call him. (Every call SD has made, except for two, was placed to fuss at H on behalf of SS 35 or to try to clean up SS 35's mess).
4. SD rarely gets any time with him so SD would just as well not have a relationship;
5. SD would not get enough time with him so SD would feel rejected.
6. H would be two differant people if she was to see him by herself????? (I can not even begin to understand this one).

I told SD 34 that since she did not work all day she should call H and arrange to met for lunch or coffee, etc. I received the ecuses above. I also told her that she passed by his workplace daily she ought to drop by on occiasion - I was told she does not do "drivebys".

By far the most jawdropping response she gave me was that she could not handle the "rejection" she would feel if H was not able to spend the amount of time with her that she wanted him to because of his other "commitments".

I took it that the "commitments" she was referring to that took up all of H's time had to be work and our minor bios. I'm sure she was not referring to his socializing which he manages to fit in daily.

Yet, in the same breath she kept telling me that she was not jealous of bios. In my mind these two statements DO NOT make sense.

She kept going back to the issue that she wanted more time from H than he was able to give. Other than work the only other obligation he has is our minor bios that would "get in the way of him not having time so I just do not believe her statements that she is not jealous of our minor bios especailly when taken together with everything else SD 34 and SS 35 have said or done.

SD 34 actually told me that if H can not deliver on the required time that she needs she did not want a relationship! I know that she does not have this attitude with all of her relatives that she does not see regularly! SD 34 obviously does not have this problem with our bios as SS 35 and SD 34 are insisting that they are owed a relationsip with our bios despite the fact that they rarely see the bios and only from afar or in passing the few times that they do see them. At least to me these contradictions show that once again they are LYING!!!!!!!

And how much time does a grown a$$ adult woman need with her daddy??????????
I know this is more complicated because BM either sees her or calls her 15 times a day. Does she want or expect this level of micro-management from both mommy and daddy at her age?????? I don't even call my minor bios this often on a daily basis!

IDK - it just seems to me that the complaints just keep evolving so that adult skids and BM have something else to complain about.

For example, initially it was the inheritance and then the fact that I own most everything that is of any real value - basically money issues. Then it was the fact that we gave step adults and grands less in gifts at Christmas than we did minor bios. Then we were told that SS was really mad all of this time because his mother had reminded him that we should have all signed his birthday card 2 years ago instead of just H signing it. Now, all of a sudden, it is the fact that H has other commitments and they can not get enough of Daddy's undivided attention!!!!
It is just amazing to me that these adult steps actually seem to believe the lies and crap they say - again a typical trait of narcissists.

I mean - really - these are the steps that stopped talking to H 3 years ago and only started to periodically talk to him within the last year (most calls have been adult temper tantrums and rants though - so I do not know why they think that H would want to see them more unless he is a glutton for punishment).

Based upon the past - this seems to me to be just another trumped up excuse/lie. They never included H in anything in the past and seemed intent for years to try to hurt him by excluding him which seems to directly contradict their claims now that they just can not seem to get enough of him!!!!!!!!.

I really think what set off this recent spat of jealousy (and that is ALL I think it really is) was their seeing pictures the oldest bio posted of H and herself on facebook having a good time together. It has become obvious at least to my bios and myself that all of them- including BM -are stalking my bios and examining every picture, post etc. to try to find something to complain about.

I know a lot of you are step kids as well as SMs and would appreciate an honest opinion regarding whether you feel my assessment is on the money or am I being too harsh in my conclusions.

I have already disengaged (with the exception of this one phone call to tell SD to back off of my bios)but my H has not. He still calls them every once in a while and will talk to them if they call. Although he has stood up to them more lately he STILL puts up with their rants.........so I still have to put up with these adult temper tantrums and the after effects coming into my house. I do not see this changing.

It did occur to me though when I was speaking to SD 34 that I did not really know how to tell her that her dad probably would never make much of an effort to see her even if they got along well in the future because he basicaly is very lazy in this regard. To put it bluntly if I do not remind him it does not get done. I am done reminding as all I get from skids is grief and regardless of how much I do the SKids blame me. They are erroneously convinced that I have so much power over H that I keep him from calling them. Even when he tells them differant they refuse to believe him about this. For example, I told SD 34 I would remind H one last time to call her but after that they would have to handle their relationship on their own as they were both adults. I did what I said I would and reminded H yet H has yet to call to initiate anything. Once again I am sure that I will be blamed when in reality H simply is either avoiding doing so, or he is too lazy, or could not be bother to remember. I Do not know which of the aforementioned it really is but I do know I will AGAIN be blamed!

I am so sick of all of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!