A holiday funny
When SD was here during DH's health crisis, she and I discussed sourdough bread and its health benefits. I had begun buying it a few months earlier. So, as usual, the Christmas cookies arrive again this year, regularly labeled, "Your favorites!" (to DH). The cookies have a history: They began arriving after years of no gifts following DH telling his darlings not to send gifts if they could not acknowledge me (long story). The cookies are shareable, of course, but the message is always, "Your favorites," so they are really gifts to DH without looking like they are only for DH. If I were to bring that up, I'd appear to be paranoid. (Step-think, right? We get used to it.)
Well, this year, homemade sourdough bread came with the cookies! DumbA me (I am laughing) thought SD made the bread for me. So, like a decent human being, I texted her and thanked her. I naturally worded the acknowledgment as if the cookies were for her dad and the bread was for me, and I expressed how much I especially would enjoy it.
*Crickets*
DH later tells me the bread came with a very detailed message to him about how this would be really good for him (and why).
THE BREAD WASN'T FOR ME, EITHER. *ROFL*
*POedCrickets*
So, your husband did not mean
So, your husband did not mean what he said, as he is still accepting gifts that he knows are just for him.
Oh, all of us here likely
Oh, all of us here likely understand skilled skid manipulation and games and how the target/game keeps moving. Food is the "fuzzy area" here; even with my experienced SM hawkeye, I was fooled by this. It has become humorous at this point.
That's hilarious!
That's hilarious!
I thought this too. Good one
I thought this too. Good one OP, even if it wasn't intentional. Your SD was probably po'd!
Seeing reality is not
Seeing reality is not paranoia. Not seeing reality... is delusion.
That you see reality and DH is delusional regarding his manipulative failed family spawn, make him/them nauseating.
IMHO.
Take care of you.
Thank you. Merry Christmas! A
Thank you. Merry Christmas!
A friend and I talk about the sad, pathetic hope and delusion that seems to keep hanging on, even if just by a thread, no matter how much reality smacks them in the face. DH and I had a discussion just yesterday about how "the next generation" of the same thing is coming around now that he has a toddler, a baby, and one on the way as grandchildren. I'll post about that situation in the grandparent forum. Round II of roping him in, manipulating him, and dreams n' hopes of what will never be. He will always be on the outskirts, the banished. But cash will probably flow! And the guilt is strong! Luckily, there are some nontoxic people in my family who have young children who are pleasant, not manipulative, welcoming, and, well, FAMILY. We do get our "kid fix" from them :)
I believe this is the exact
I believe this is the exact direction we are headed - I am already focusing on those I know I can build a healthy relationship and I am prepared to play minimal to no role in SKID grandchild - I am not upset at all and realize I am not the one who's going to be missing out. :D
I told DH before the first
I told DH before the first grandchild was born that I was not putting myself in the situation to be hurt again or treated like crap, that I was not going to interact with hostages or pawns. It's not because I hate kids, of course (I love kids); it's because I need to protect myself.
And I'm with you: THEY are the ones missing out.
Totally get this perspective
Totally get this perspective and likely going to adopt your wisdom.
Unfortunately my SOs daughter
Unfortunately my SOs daughter and one of his sons have children. There are four grandchildren now. The son was recently on FB begging for money while posting pics of his 1 1/2 y.o. and one month old child in an attempt to manipulate people. He's too lazy to get a job on the weekend to supplement his income, and his girlfriend baby momma wants to remain a stay at home mother. She's getting all the govt support. He doesn't want to work extra because he doesn't want to be away from his "precious babies".
I do not, and never will, have a relationship with any of them.
DH has a grandchild
He has only seen once in 5 yrs. While we were away I saw so many gifts i would have bought had i been a participant. DH bought nothing. Right now he is trying to get a zoom call going with them to get on with his own parents. Usually they can't be bothered and it begs the question why can't they zoom with their own grandparents? They just got buckets of cash from them over the years. BTW I wanted to smack DH right now as he jokingly asked daughter to come for Christmas because i made a special dinner. He chases and chases and gets crapped on. It's painful to watch. He hides out when he talks with them now. Saves me from wanting to puke. Lol.
My DH does the same! At least
My DH does the same! At least half the time, he leaves the room/house to talk to them. The bulk of communications occur when I'm not home. That's good. It's fine. It works. I think they don't want us to witness what we already know ---> Your comment about chasing and chasing and still getting crapped on. Several years ago, I'd occasionally do a little "bunny hop" with my front "paws" raised to show my DH how he was behaving (more like a puppet or trained dog than a bunny). How awful of me, really. I thought if words didn't get through, perhaps the image might. My DH has backed off quite a bit from where he used to be (not because of my bunny hop-lol) but that glimmer of hope still shines. It is sad. And pathetic. I've given up. Do what you need to do, DH, to make things "work" for you all even though you are given zero respect and are always on the outskirts of the real "fam," as they refer to Mommy and Mommy's family that is constantly showcased on social media (I don't "watch" anymore); just please do not involve me. Thank you.
Going forward
I would send her a text thanking her as if she was including you. Ha!
Same. I'd buy a dollar tree
Same. I'd buy a dollar tree thank you card, buy several to use each and every time. Then write something like this in it:
Dear Skiddo who hates me,
We enjoyed your kind gift of x,y,z (this time Chicken and dumplings). What a nice treat for us. Thank you so much for thinking about us!!
Dad & you.
She will stew over it but can't say anything becuase then she'd expose her own craptastic ways. well worth a 2/$1 card and the price of stamp!
Extra points if the card has a Biblical verse inside!
Lol...this is absolute
Lol...this is absolute perfection!
I love this!
I love this!
what a crap person
id dump that chit in the garbage, and go radio silent.
She's always been a crap
She's always been a crap person and a huge phony and manipulator who speaks of the Bible and God.
UPDATE: The Sourdough Saga (lol)
She must have called him sometime after receiving my thank you: Although we had sourdough bread out, he strangely went to the freezer and took out the bread she made. This man has never eaten sourdough bread. I eat it. I had been urging him to switch to it. Then he had what she made and told me it was GOOD. I replied, "I know! I've been telling you to eat it [sourdough in general]." He responded, "Yea, but I didn't know she could bake so well." I'm sure he reported back to her how grateful he was for the bread.
Oh. My. God. You can't make this crap up. I'm just shaking my head.
Oh good grief. Yeah that
Oh good grief. Yeah that would happen here too. I can tell my SO something and nothing happens and it goes in one ear and out the other. If one of his idiot kids tells him the exact same thing it's a huge deal and he goes around telling everyone like it's the most earth shattering news ever and God himself has spoken.
Lol. Even my DW does this.
Lol. Even my DW does this.
I can advise, recommend, explain, etc, etc, etc..... I get a polite nod and maybe a quiet "thank you".
Meanwhile back at the rance and some time later.... "Do you know what (fill in name here) thinkss?".... followed by exactly what I have advised repeatedly.
I go all innocent smart ass in response. "Wow. Anyone who would advise that must be really brilliant!!!".
She just gives me the look and comments that she knows I have advised the same thing many times.
now you make a sandwhich
With the bread she made, and say how good it is, and ask how does he like the chit sandwhich because thats what you have been eating for years...then smile and go radio silent.