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hat is the difference between celebrating Christmas vs having a party?

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 11:22am

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Adult Stepchildren

With the help of ST, I have learned to disengage this year, and my life has been great in not dealing with these 6 golden eggs. However, something happened this morning and I need your help!

My DH and I went grocery shopping this morning. I picked out a ham (good size for 4-6 people or great leftovers) for our Christmas dinner. Christmas Day is just going to be us – my son (my other 2 kids are in the military) is coming later during the week.

Then DH asked:
DH - what about the party food?
ME - what party?
DH - the one with my kids?
ME – great – you’re having a party! (and I stressed YOU)
And I left it at that!

These past few hours I have been thinking - DH has been saying that “we’re not celebrating Christmas with my kids” speech for the past month and a half since he already sent them their Christmas gift (money), so now I’m wondering why are we (or he) having a party? WTF – why send the money if now they’re coming over?!?!

I believe my DH is trying to pull a fast one on me and have me re-engage with the golden eggs. Not only that, I’m pissed because I stocked my cupboards and freezer simply because I was told they were NOT coming!!!

These past few hours I have only thought of all the hurtful Christmases I have spent with these people – the selfishness, the OMG rude comments they said to me, the drunkenness, and the days of cleaning up afterwards (and yes, I mean DAYS!) But the worst memory I have of any Christmas I spent with these golden eggs was the one 5 years ago when SS38 that gave me a box of prunes (yes you read that correctly – PRUNES!) because “we saw my dad give you diamond earrings and I thought there was nothing else you needed!” Those fuckin’ prunes stayed in my cupboard purposely for 3 years to remind me what little bastards they are! And don't ask - DH kept his mouth shut and that hurt the worst!

So please tell me - what is the difference between celebrating Christmas and having a party in “a DH’s frame of mind”? I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill but on the other hand, I don’t want to spend time with people who have made my life a living hell since I married DH 10 years ago.

Trust me before Christmas, I am going to buy lots of prunes for dessert!!!

Frustratedlady's picture

Submitted by Frustratedlady on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 11:38am

PRUNES?!!! Are you serious??? They wanted to get the message across to you very clearly on how they felt about you, that's for sure!!! There would be NO WAY I would have my holiday with people that treated me like that. But just in-case you have no choice, my first thought was exlax brownies }:)

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 12:10pm

What an insult; f-ing prunes? This is worse than getting a fruit cake. I know people say its the thought that counts. If this is true then the thought that counts here is either that you are old or that you are full of shit as another poster stated. I would rip my kids heads off if they gave my DH a gift like this. Then when I get done ripping them a new one, I would proceed with public humiliation and I'd make them eat the prunes in front of us. Your SS is an asshole.

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 12:23pm

Yes my SS and all others are assholes - I couldn't agree more!!!

Those prunes stayed in my cupboard for 3 years until 1 granddaughter opened them up and of course, there were maggots!!!

My response, that's my xmas gift SS!

No one said a word!

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 12:57pm

Ha ha ha; this is beautiful. I am assuming that the granddaughter opened these up in front of everyone who was there. Too bad you couldn't gather the little critters into a jar and present them as a gift to asshole SS. Tell him you thought he might enjoy some new pets around the house for everyone to enjoy.

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 1:33pm

Yes of course, everyone was there (those prunes were sitting nicely for 3 years) and then everyone bitched at me because I did NOT clean out my cupboard. True, they are correct, but those prunes were there for a reason and they are too stupid to see it! Again, DH said nothing but only he and I knew why those prunes were there!

If my pets can't come throughout the house (we have a 1 car garage room just for our dogs) then NOBODY'S DOGS ARE ALLOWED IN THE HOUSE!!!

Respect is one word that most people have a hard time understanding!!!

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 2:51pm

Are you the person who posted something like "the queen is coming" the post about the SD who wanted to bring her dog into your house and you have new carpet? I'm just curious. Your cupboards are your business how dare they criticize you for keeping this lovely and thoughtful Xmas gift. Sounds like they are so simple minded that they didn't even get why you kept the prunes. I bet the look on their faces was priceless.

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:27pm

I read that post several times with DH. you handled it beautifully. I like your attitude and the way you take care of business Wink

CarpeOmnia's picture

Submitted by CarpeOmnia on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 12:31pm

To answer your question. Celebrating Christmas or having a party...same thing if it's anywhere near Christmas day.
If DH suggested a party to me...I would find out when HE planned to do it and then I would be gone that day. I would also NOT
lift a finger to clean up after it.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 2:01pm

DH - what about the party food?

"It is at whatever restaurant you all decide to go to. Have fun."

And send the damn prunes with him to give back to the asshole that gave them to you.

Having a Christmas party is the same thing as celebrating Christmas. Not sure what he is trying to pull here.

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:15pm

OMG - I googled prune recipes and you would not believe the recipes, prune cake, prune cookies, prune loaf - I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN!!! Thanks for the idea!

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:13pm

My DH did not say a word! I was so hurt that when SS left, I erupted like no volcano ever. And that's when I said no more!

Frustratedlady's picture

Submitted by Frustratedlady on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:29pm

You will have to come back and tell us all how you won them over with the prune recipes. I am sure a lot of us would love to be a fly on the wall at your house that day Wink

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:33pm

Or a fly on their bathroom wall }:)
They will be spending quite a bit of time in there

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 4:03pm

Guaranteed I will be posting to be ST family! I just wish we were able to upload pictures of the "OMG! Daddddeeee!"

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 4:03pm

Guaranteed I will be posting to be ST family! I just wish we were able to upload pictures of the "OMG! Daddddeeee!"

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 6:02pm

OMG I can't wait to hear about this. I'd have some extra toilet paper on hand if I were you. If you really want to be nice you could have some Cottonelle wet wipes available as well. No wait, I've got it; give them TP, Cottonelle and some Preparation H for their Xmas present with a card that says "Have a stinkin' merry Xmas"

Ok , I'm getting out of hand with this. }:)

Amber Miller's picture

Submitted by Amber Miller on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 3:29pm

You can always serve your prune dishes with a side of maggots. You know bugs are supposed to be high in protein

toywas's picture

Submitted by toywas on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 4:02pm

I totally agree with you Punkin! My DH definitely needs to make a stand not only for me, but for US! And I believe until he does I will keep putting up with the same shit every holiday and/or every time they come over.

I just heard the old saying "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me!"

Not only am I NOT a fool but I have those rose-colored glasses off too!

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Thu, 12/19/2013 - 7:30pm

What an offensive gift! Did she give it to you knowing you would be too polite to throw it out? Did she expect you to swallow it - metaphorically, rather than literally?

Back in my twenties I used to work as a tour guide when in college. You never knew back then how the tourists were going to thank you after the tour was over. And often you would meet nice people and make new friends, or at least get tips, but other times you would run into total a*holes who treated you worse than domestic help. The woman who trained me told us it was ok to get rid of the junk if it was offered to you in an offensive manner. She gave an example when after a guided tour of an art gallery some members of her group, females, probably drunk? shoved into her hands some kind of personal toiletries, lipstick that was used, mascara, and god knows what else. She said, thank you, calmly told the tour bus driver to pull over at the nearest corner, and depositied the entire bag into the trash can there and then, with the entire tour group watching her. The she smiled and proceeded to comment on the architecture. I have never forgetten that lesson but i never had to deal with anything as demeaning. However, it is good to be prepared...

So i hope i would have had the presence of mind to toss the box of prunes into garbage with the SD standing right there and say, Thanks, but not thanks, i will not be needing them. I DO have everything.