H and other guest got turkey dropped by Twit!
For those not familiar with what a turkey drop is...it is done when college students break up, or take off on whomever they were dating. This tends to happen around Thanksgiving so the students refer to it as a turkey drop.
Right now H is at my house taking care of my dog while I am gone. Guess Twit invited him and Twit's husband's sister over for Thanksgiving. I guess she invited his whole sibling bunch but they declined (and I probably know why).
H called me late last night pretty peeved. First thing he said was that he is really starting to understand what I was talking about....on how Twit treats people. Seems he was told to be there by 4:30 and dinner was at 5. H says they hadn't even finished eating turkey etc. when Twit stands up and announces that SHE is leaving because she is going to Wal-Mart. Seems both Molly (SIL's sister) and he looked at each other and figured dinner was over and started to get up. She then proclaimed that though she and her "boys" (all over 21) were going, if they wanted to stay and finish, have dessert, SIL would stay with them! And off she went!
SIL was very uncomfortable with what had just happened, evidently he didn't know she was going to go..he looked quite shocked. H said it was very awkward. He finished his plate, would have like dessert, especially as he made the pumpkin pie (H is quite a good cook), but decided to take off for my home in light of the situation. SIL's sister did the same.
And then Twit wonders why her husband's brothers and sisters et. al have nothing to do with her.
H is peeved royally. Good! I wasn't there as I am visiting my very best friend in the world in New Orleans. The good thing is that when this carp happened in the past, he would always make excuses for her poor behavior and ignorance. If I commented that I didn't like being treated like that, I was automatically the bad guy hearing his excuses for her....she didn't mean it, etc. Well, now he is being getting the royal Twit treatment and he doesn't like it.
As I said, I am so glad this occurred when I was no where near the area. It was directed totally at him.
Last night he called and said he went back to talk to her about what the hell happened. Twit didn't have a clue in hades that she had done anything that wasn't normal or nice. Then she wonders why she has no friends and no one wants to come to her house. H said she had the audacity to ask about getting together at Christmas. H told her SDM has other plans already and so does he. Of course she pouted because....get this...."she just has to have a family Christmas". Lordy, the woman doesn't have a clue as to how to treat people much less family.
Me, I'm having a great time
Me, I'm having a great time in New Orleans. Friend lives in the Garden District and they decorate gorgeously for the holidays.
And best of al, Twit is not my problem.
Hi - Was that you? Cute dog.
Hi - Was that you? Cute dog. No, didn't see you, just kidding. Yes it is a very nice city, very interesting. Yes, been to the WWII museum and it is great.
I will be watching for you and the spaniel. Take care.
Cat - I think that H use to
Cat - I think that H use to defend Twit's behavior to me because he didn't want to admit, to face, that she is...well....a Twit. And, of course, if I was hurt by Twit's behavior I was over reacting, etc. Boy, times are a changing. My comment to him wen he told me this was: "so, what's new?" followed by NMP you deal with her.
And get this.....Twit was running to Wal-Mart to get one of those TV's on promo for her youngest ADULT son (22) who lives with her. He was suppose to be at Thanksgiving dinner and H says he never showed or called. Twit also said that he wasn't returning her calls to him either. IMHO, if that were my kid, adult child, I certainly would not be accepting the disrespect and running out to get him a big expensive present for Christmas.
Man, if I didn't show up for Thanksgiving Dinner with my family, my Mother would certainly not tolerate it, or that attitude. And I even hate to think what my Grandmother would have said. It is called respect for one's parents. My own daughter also was taught better. If she pulled that she certainly wouldn't be getting a big expensive tv from me for Christmas.
Can't wait for our next counseling session when I get back. If H's eyes were getting open before, they are probably saucer like now. Love it. Wait until I get back and he has to go back and live with her again....he is not moving back in until the matter is resolved to MY satisfaction. And there is a time limit.
Well, I'm back
Well, I'm back home....arrived yesterday. And we had our counseling session today. Verrry Interesting.
DH talked and told about Thanksgiving Dinner with Twit and her behavior, and how he felt about what she did as well as the other guest also seeing it as bizarre.
Counselor told him that her behavior was just outright wrong. Here she invited people, who showed up, and then took off on them to go shopping. I pointed out that this was not the first time Twit has done something like this. There again, her hubby was left to host everyone and to explain why Twit took off on everyone.
Counselor said that the woman has no respect for anyone, for their time, or anything. That it is a way of control for her....you come to me and I leave you because I (Twit) just don't care. She asked if SIL's family came around much since then. H told her that since the father passed earlier this year, Twit complains that she invites them but they don't want to get together. Gee....wonder why.
She told DH somethings that were, evidently right on. And gave him some points to watch with her. Told him that there is not much, if anything, he can do for her and she certainly understood why I was finished with the nonsense. I commented that if H or I were to do anything remotely like that to her, she would have a caniption fit, crying, carrying on and claiming that no one, loved her....boo hoo hoo.
Anyway, counselor says it is time for H to make the break if he wants to have a life with me. Twit cannot be allowed to behave as she does to me and to him. He did ask her that, if Twit got the idea that she had to change in order to have a relationship with him, did she think she would do it. Counselor told him that, one could always hope, but probably not as she doesn't recognize her actions and behaviors towards others to be any part of any problem.
When we left I think H's mind was still trying to comprehend the carp that Twit does. He was somewhat shell shocked, shall we say.
I talk to counselor at the end, alone, and she felt that H was realizing things and coming to terms with them. I asked if, perhaps just being so enlightened might help him in ways, new ways, of dealing with Twit.
Morning Cat - Interesting
Morning Cat - Interesting comment about Twit's son. In his senior year in high school he got caught with drugs on campus. Twit was all upset, how could he do this to HER! What will people think about HER! Notice, not about the son, but all about her.
Even more interesting was that she wasn't, as you point out, going into dramatics about him not showing up. Very interesting, didn't pick up on that.
He, IMHO, doesn't care much about her rebelling? He does come around and see me at my house. Heck, last Christmas he even came back in the house and gave me a big bear hug telling me that he loved me. This young man is not one that does that kind of thing very often. But then I take an interest in him. Don't lecture, don't get melodramatic, etc.
He got in with a bad crowd (the druggies etc.) and moved out of Twits. Getting in the wrong crowd he got his jaw broken - his "story" was that he got up at night time and tripped and fell into the table. This old lady doesn't believe that for a moment. So, without lecturing him, or prying like everyone else was doing, I sat down one day when he was watching t.v. and said this: "You know one has to watch people you hang around with in what they do, say, and how they treat others because sooner or later they WILL get around to you." After a few minutes I got a response - "G'ma, I am going to remember that...I think I already experienced it." Just those few words has seemed to solidify a relationship between us.
I find it interesting that
I find it interesting that Twit is a total narcissist and that she didn't have an adverse reaction as a result of her son ignoring her regarding thanksgiving dinner. It would seem to me that someone like twit would come unglued if her son blew her off. Why wasn't she crying all over the place when her son ignored her the way she cries and blubbers to her daddy when she wants to blame and create drama around you? Just an observation but since narcissists think that the world revolves around them, it would be completely unacceptable to an individual with this personality disorder to be ignored by any family member let alone her own son. Actually, my feelings would be hurt if one of my sons ignored my phone calls and a holiday dinner invitation and I'm a pretty emotionally stable person. This is why I find it odd that twit didn't have a cow about this. Then she proceeds to buy her son who ignored her a TV? I'm surprised she isn't buying him a few mixing bowls, a pan and a few knives and forks for his stocking. I'm sure you won't miss getting a piece of trash this year from her as a gift. I guess twit no longer has to go dumpster diving to get a gift for you.
Hi Amber - You are right,
Hi Amber - You are right, with our experiences with Twit she should be totally unglued by her son's actions, except for the fact that she believes her sons to be perfect and part of her. The one that didn't show rebels against her and her wacko standards. One is 26, out of the Marines, in college and "Mommy" still balances his checkbook, buys his clothes, etc. for him. I fear for the woman that falls for any of these boyz. Mommy Twit is going to be their worst nightmare.
Got any ideas other than what I mentioned above about why she wouldn't blow a fuse when the young man didn't show, et. al.? Yes, it was interesting that the reason she picked up and left at H's thanksgiving dinner with her, was to go buy this one a tv set. Seems almost surreal. Twit has never had a problem with overindulging her brood. This certainly doesn't fall in with narcissism does it. This type of thing tells me that she is just plain evil.
Oh, you are so right about Christmas....no carpy ashtrays, cheap resin plates etc. Joy, Joy! Be interesting to see if H gets her anything for Christmas on his own. My bet is that he doesn't.
It could be considered
It could be considered narcissism (how she treats her kids) in that her actions are manufactured to make her look good. It's just like you said regarding the son that got caught with drugs. It wasn't about getting help for her son, it was all about how she was going to look as a mother. Very sick and selfish. I see this as narcissism but I could be wrong.
I still can't wrap my head
I still can't wrap my head around the idea of buying someone an ash tray that doesn't smoke. It really sends a message doesn't it?
Totally agree...I can't
Totally agree...I can't either. But the cheap resin plate wasn't too far behind.
One thing interesting...Twit give this strange cheap stuff BUT wraps it beautifully! The wrapping paper et al certainly cost more than the carp inside. IMHO, that makes it even stranger.
I wish you could download a
I wish you could download a picture of this garbage (resin plate and ash tray) to this website. I am so curious as to what these items look like. Hey, I just realized I've been on steptalk for awhile now as I remember when you received these lovely gifts. A lot has changed in this past year for both if us Your DH is starting to see what his twit is doing to you and is learning how to be more supportive of you and my DH now sees his wonderful daughter for what she is (manipulative liar) and has 100% disengaged from her and psycho bio-mom. Who would've thought a year ago that this would be possible.
After reading Cat and Amber's
After reading Cat and Amber's questions about why Twit didn't go off the deep end about her son not showing for Thanksgiving Dinner etc., I had to call H and ask him about that. He said that she started down the bezerko trail but that her husband stopped her because his sister was there. H says she didn't completely let it rest, but she wasn't as she usually gets about it. H says he, and Molly, were avoiding her like the plaque.
Very interesting. I thought
Very interesting. I thought twit saw a doctor. She needs to see a psychiatrist. What a buffoon.
Yes, Twit did see a doctor.
Yes, Twit did see a doctor. Outside of what is said at counseling, I don't care what happens regarding that, but she does need a psychiatrist. In fact, IMHO, she needs to be committed.
I can tell you that at our counseling session this week, H wasn't all that concerned about making sure Twit has a safety net (I think she just needs the net, but I kept my mouth shut }:) ) Smart alex comments don't help the process, but sometimes it is so hard to bite my tongue.
One also has to realize that after so many years of being married to Twit, her husband is use to her and her nonsense, though he says she is escalating lately.
Your comment about the net
Your comment about the net made me laugh so hard. Thanks for that! Yeah I can see how it's better for you to not have to concern yourself with whatever help she's going to get (or as I suspect, not get). That's great to hear that H is seeming less concerned with her "net" (Ha Ha Ha Ha). God, I really feel for her husband. As I'm sure you know, my SD is severely mentally ill and my DH used to pine away for her love and her approval and was always trying to get SD mental, emotional and financial help (all she really wanted was $$$$. She's very sick but she still knows how to manipulate her parents for a financial gain). After DH received a healthy dose of her abuse (similar to the twit exposure your H is getting) my DH has completely dropped out of her life (willingly with no regrets) and took his "net" with him (like your H). Twit needs to learn how to help herself but I don't think that will ever happen. I know you said her husband is very devoted and takes his vows seriously but seriously, twits husband must be absolutely miserable. I wonder if he feels like he's trapped in a marriage without a real partner? How can twit engage in a truly meaningful exchange of emotions, care and love. Or even be a support to her DH when he needs a shoulder, a hug or companionship. My husband would be horrified if he had to prevent me from embarrassing him in front of one if his sisters. No wonder no one goes to twits house for dinner. I wonder if her son is mad at her or sick of her bad behavior and could that be at the root as to why he didn't show up? Is that why she bought the TV; to buy his love? Borderlines fear being abandoned and I'm pretty confident twit has BPD (among other things). Perhaps I'm reading too much into this but I'm laying around resting today and I have nothing to do but relax, engage in conversations on step-talk, think and ponder. If I had a problem with my son I certainly wouldn't carry on about it in front of DH's family. Twit has the common sense of a thimble (why a thimble I don't know???). This is why I called twit a buffoon (I love this word. It makes me smile and laugh).
Personally, I think her
Personally, I think her husband is miserable. I know that he spends lots and lots of time at work and seeing he is salaried he gets nothing extra for it. My guess has long been that better at work than home dealing with Twit, but what do I know.
I do know that she did complain to H many times about how many hours her husband puts in at work....goes in on Saturdays and even Sundays. One can only hope that with Twit for a wife, he finds a nice girlfriend that he is spending time with.
Twits children are a mess. The oldest one is about 29, weights way over 300 lbs and has a part time job. No ambition, nothing. Eventhough he does live on his own (probably doesn't want to deal with crazy), Mama helps support him.
No. 2, the ex Marine is a good guy but is willing to let Mama do all kinds of things for him that he should be doing. Mama balances his check book (she says this is the way she keeps track on what he does as he uses his debit card for most things). Takes his mail and packages to the post office because the poor baby is too busy (he's 26, out of the Marines and going to college!) to do such mundane things.
And you already know about No. 3.
Not a winner in the bunch. Gee, am I surprised? Not.
Cat - Very interesting...what
Cat - Very interesting...what would happen. I honestly don't know. Yep, SIL is stuck with her, I guess, until misery are enough to overcome what would be guilt in leaving her. My guess is that as long as the "boyz" are still around....the youngest is still living at home, he would stick around. But I have a feeling that once they are all gone and he is stuck with just her and her tantrums and antics things might change.
I know they say that many a divorce happens after all the children leave the nest. SIL has talked already about moving to a smaller house with less acerage after the kids are all gone. That is about the time things start to break up and mid-life crisis starts to set in. Should be interesting.
What would happen to Twit? Hum, we know she has problems, but people like her are survivors, they will crawl over anyone to get their needs met and don't are who they hurt or take down on their way. Time will tell.
I assume that twit has been
I assume that twit has been married to her DH for a long time. I do not know a lot about divorce and laws but I know in my state that if you were married for a long time (I think 9-10 years but please don't quote me) that the person ordered to pay alimony is on the hook for the rest of her or his life. I'm pretty sure I'm correct on this. She would get part if his pension, 401K or whatever he may have. If your SIL left her, she would be taken care of financially. I believe he would have to provide her with the lifestyle that she is accustomed to living. From prior posts, I am assuming that twit has never maintained consistent employment (other than selling spatulas and pots and pans). It may be better for SIL to work constantly in order to stay out of the house as if he divorced her than he would be on the hook financially. I think if she were to remarry that his obligation to her would end but I can't imagine someone wanting to marry this emotional cripple unless she found a wealthy 90 year old who suffers from dementia and needs a companion. Either way, I don't think twit ever has to worry about having to take care of herself.
Amber - Now that is when she
Amber - Now that is when she would cry that she has problems....so she would get more of the marital estate. Hell would have no fury like a Twit scorned. As I, for one can attest to.
Yeah - the Twit carp is going
Yeah - the Twit carp is going home to roost!!
We had over 10 inches of snow here which is quite a bit. DH asked one of the grandson's to drop him off at my place so he could help me with cleaning it out of the driveway. The grandson told DH that he would drive him up and clean the driveway and walks up for us....we were too old to deal with that! How nice.
But, the evil Twit was lurking nearby and heard that and told her son that he could NOT go up to our place until he shoveled out all of their driveways and sidewalks! Grandson told her that he was going and that was that. DH says her mouth was flapping as she didn't know what to say as he and Grandson got in the car and left.
Whoo Hoo!!
My phone was a jingling and Twit left a snotty message for her father, but I just deleted it and didn't even bother to tell him about it. Hey, it's my home, my phone. Didn't even listen to it, nothing Twit could say is worth my time.
God what a psychotic nut.
God what a psychotic nut. Good for GS to tell her how it was going to be. Had she been nice about it, I'm sure he could've helped her with her driveway when he was done helping you. I find it interesting that twit wanted to leave a snotty message for her father and she calls your phone. She's probably going crazy because you won't acknowledge and engage with her. She specifically wanted you to listen to that message, that's why she didn't wait to get ahold of her father and say what she had to say directly. Good for you for not listening to it. Like I said before: twit is a buffoon.
Had a strange dream last
Had a strange dream last night. Dreamed that DH and I were in a nursing home. The staff came by to get DH, they were rolling him up to the front door. Seems, as was par, Twit had called the staff and told them to have her father up front so she could wave to him as she drove through the circle by the front door.....that this was her way of visiting him.
Man, strange, but probably very true.
He is still peeved about her taking off on Thanksgiving. But, if you think about it, it is no different than what she did to us last Christmas. She served us frozen pizza and then pretty much pushed out the door. Guess she considers that spending time with her father, you know, the one she always cries to when she doesn't get her way, etc. Or the time she invited us over for a B-B-Q, along with her hubby's family and then left almost right away. Seems, she claims, she had totally forgotten about a pot and pan party she had allegedly pre-scheduled. Yeah, right. My bet is that opportunity to host one came up and the thought of money $$$ means more to her than family and other people. We are suppose to understand her and her poor treatment of us. She is just plain nasty and then wonders why his family doesn't want to get together with her now that his father is gone. They put up with Twit antics and trying to sell them pots and pans long enough.
Only massichists (sp?) who like being treated like dog poo are going to put up with her nonsense.
She has no friends except her pots and pans people, and those are really competitors and not friends. She once complained to me years back that no one wants to do fairs etc. with her. Turns out, that she takes all the contact infor for possible parties etc. on them. As Twit tells it, and it is very funny that she even tells this stuff, the last woman she worked with confronted her about why all her lead info was disappearing. Twit claims that the woman's kid was throwing it in the trash on her...yeah right. Guess they got into a BIG argument about it. Word gets around so no one works with Twit any more. I recall asking why the woman didn't just go to the trash and get the contacts her child was allegedly throwing in. Twit shrugged her shoulders with no answer. You see, she sees the woman is being mean to her not that her actions, thievery of the leads, was the real reason.
Reading this makes me wonder
Reading this makes me wonder why the heck I put up with this nonsense way too long.
I know I say it now, but it give me some kind of peace to read that I tried time and time again with the same results.