You are here

employing your skids

MaGoose2010's picture

Submitted by MaGoose2010 on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 1:02am

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

Just want to ask a question, because this issue is causing WW3 in our relationship...

If you and FDH had a business together and it was decided to employ your SD and she stuffed up on a daily basis and you, after putting up with this for 18 months, as her supervisor decided to discipline her with a warning letter, which FDH questioned the validity of it....how would you feel and how would you handle it?

This is how I feel...
Betrayed, defeated, angry & just like calling it quits with the relationship, business and EVERYTHING!

Some advice....please...thank you!

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 1:32am

I'd be letting DH know that this is not working out and if he still wants SD to be 'employed' then he needs to go over her work and make sure it's correct and if not he needs to have her to do it over. I'd also suggest that you are becoming very frustrated by it all and you really do not want your frustrations to turn into resentments towards the girl. Are the mistakes costing you real money? I understand the wanting to give the girl a chance, a family business that might become hers one day if she is dedicated enough. I'd be tellng DH to face it, kids are NOT dedicated enough to want to actually work hard yet, emphasise YET with him. Suggest she tries out working elsewhere just to get a feel for how a day should go with a boss who is not family and who will not be so lenient with her. Come to DH from a place of concern, not to mention preserving your own sanity.
Ohhh it's soooooooo easy to tell someone else what you think they should do but not follow your own advice...damnit!!

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 1:33am

I know a place that if you have infractions they give you a week off without pay!! Just a thought??

LRP75's picture

Submitted by LRP75 on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 8:06am

Do you employ more than just SD? IF so, has there ever been a comparable employee that DH didn't want to put up with?

Or, perhaps it would be advantageous to prove to him what personal expectations are at other businesses and why it's so important for ALL employees to be held to those standards.

Not that you haven't probably already said all of that.

I suppose that if I were you, I would just keep saying to my DH:

"Remove the fact that she is your daughter from the equation -- and what type of employee are we left with? What would YOU do with that employee? I am not making an attack on your DAUGHTER -- I am standing up for and protecting THE HEALTH OF OUR BUSINESS."

If he can't see that, then the problem certainly isn't yours.

If he simply isn't willing to face the situation -- then it may be time to reconsider whether being in business with your DH is the right fiscal decision for you to make for your own life. If he can't make BUSINESS decisions, then he doesn't need to be running a business and he is just a liability.

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Mon, 06/11/2012 - 8:31am

DH has a business. MIL keeps pushing for SD15 to work there in the summers. I see this being a huge problem because this kid is a total moron!!

I think she should be treated as a regular employee. That is how I would treat SD if she ever comes to work with us!! No special treatment. If she ever goes and gets a job not working for daddy how will she survive it if she is babied all the time!!