Good grief Shannon61 .....she is clinging on to Daddy STILL ??? I also agree that I bet she loves coming over, knowing YOU won't be there and it'll be oh so cosy just Daddy and her !!! Yuk !!! Do you think she is having a snoop around while she's there ? Did you redecorate her old room, made any other changes, etc ?

It still makes me shiver that my sd21 was almost checking out our new house when she visited this Summer for 5 LONG LONG days !!! DH still doesn't believe she wants to move back over here and live with us, but I know she is still telling everyone that will listen to the Mythomaniac that she plans to come back here to him and with his help.... Which translated means with my DH sponsoring the move, and giving her a roof over her head and cash..... No way...... EVER !!!

Has she settled with her future hubby ?? Or do you think she is coming over and starting little seeds of conversation with your DH , like testing the water for maybe a future return ???

I organised the arse out of sd21's visit, two days under my roof, then three day city break in a Hotel, that really controlled how much time I spent in her company and made it bearable !!! And in the end it worked well because he agreed that she won't be visiting us soon again.

If your DH has to see her, can't he arrange to go over to their new place, then it doesn't interfer with your plans and you can stay put or it's time to get busy organising DH's calendar for the evenings or get involved in a new hobby together.....less time available for sd27 to pop over and visit !!!

Shannon-yuck, is he in love with her???? That's just gross. :sick:

I've gone to a shrink now with all the problems my two adult step kids have caused to my life.
He tells me this is how it goes.
I told him I've never been disliked like this, hated even...and it's hard to accept. I've bent over backwards (well, y'all know first hand how this goes) until it hurts
to accommodate their spoiled selves. What do I get back? Grief. A LOT of it, too.
My doctor said I have to understand and accept that in their minds all they see is that
I'm NOT their mother. I've never been. I'll never be.
I said to him that I never WANTED to be their mother (who lives close by) but a good and supportive friend.
Oh, no, he says...they ONLY can see you as someone who's not their mother.
You don't really exist outside of that.
So, stepparents out there. After years of trying with these two adults (who're now 30 and 27) I can only tell you that you (and I) are sent from
heaven to put up with...struggle with...all of it.
I've changed my ways & am getting results (for me).
Decided to paint the front door. Went to Home Depot & got a great combo/entry lock. Told hubby it was a deal. He put it on the door. Now
these "kids" no longer have a key. I feel safer. My belongings feel safer. Ahhh....baby steps.
I told hubby they are not welcome to our home if they cannot show respect. He is welcome to see them whenever he wants, just not in the one
place that's a sanctuary. I no longer feel comfortable with them here. This is hard stuff, mind you. He didn't see what was REALLY going on for
years (my doctor says this, too, is normal).

Mustang & StepAside have it. Don't leave your own home for her, and instead of having dinner with your sister at the shops (mall), invite your sister over and you can all have dinner together. You're making it too easy for them to enjoy their fortnightly dinners Why don't you just re-address her mail, so she no longer has the excuse to come over just to pick up the mail, after all, you can always say you thought it may have been urgent and were just helping out. In Australia we can fill in a change of address form at the post office and mail is automatically re-adressed to the new place. I am sure you would have the same thing. Good Luck.

Seriously what is it with the mail and skids. I had to deal with the mail issue with 3 different skids that lived with us for some time or another. One skid only stayed with us for 2 wks in between moving from one state to another! I finally got so sick of it I filled out change of address forms for each one of them and then no more of their mail came to our address. Each one of the skids claimed they sent the USPO the forms but duh the mail still kept coming to our address, but once I did it their mail never did come our way. One of the skids DID do a form but checked the entire family box rather than just their names so OUR mail suddenly stopped coming! It took me a few days to figure out what happened as they had moved to another state and then I had to do a change of address form to get OUR mail to come to OUR house. RIDICULOUS!! Getting the mail changed is not rocket science people but somehow it escapes them how to do it properly--arrrggghh!

Good Luck with that. My own experience with 29 year old SD says differnt. She and her boyfriend built a brand new home, moved into it and filled it all with braand new furniture, then produced a brand new baby, does she want to leave daddy - not on your life, she clearly still sees herself as daddy's daughter first ,last and foremost, not the baby's mother or the boyfriends de-facto WIFE, just daddy's little girl.

I am a grown daughter the only one my dad has and I still don't have the need to be all up in his stuff. He's remarried. He just got remarried 4-5 years ago. My step mom had no part in raising me. She is not my favorite person in the world. However, his house is his house, mine is mine. None of my mail goes there. None of his funds come to me. Well once I borrowed 75 dollars but its not like I come around every week. I don't even call him and he doesnt' call me but like once every couple of weeks. Its not that we don't have a decent relationship. I used to be his little princess. But I'm grown and flown. I don't need Daddy. I love the hell out of him and would love to spend more time with him but if she is there and I am there that's fine too.

I think its totally gross for grown women and their dads to be like up in each other's lives on the regular. like my bil and his grown daughter slept in the same bed while bil's girlfriend had to sleep somewhere else. She got pissed and said its not natural...bil's daughter was grown like 23!! Its NOT natural. They got in an argument and he sided with his daughter. GROSS dude. When I was a TEEN I didnt sleep in Daddy's bed.

Some people are straight up hicks. Its kinda gross but its a reality. And yeah its wrong. You grow up. Sure you can still love your dad and come around, see him on the holidays, visit once in awhile and make phone calls. But some things are weird.

Ya, It's sick alright! And just when you think DH has comprehended what you have tried to convey to him he blurts out something that throws everything back to square one. As of last December I disengaged from SD and will not allow her in our home unless she apologizes for her verbal attack and untrue accusations. Now that I refuse to play the game she's making him suffer for not leaving me. DH has been calling her on her cell phone for months - no return call, no Birthday or Father's Day card. He said she didn't return his calls becasue she didn't have our new number. I informed him that she could look on her cell phone and easily find out what number he is calling from. Then I said he needs to have a discussion about his divorce with her and that she transferred the balme on me when I had nothing to do with it. So what does he reply? "It's just normal for a child to want her parents back together." Can you believe that? Like he is condoning all of the abuse she put me through! I responded, "Yes, it may be common but it is still not right. I will never go through the abuse again!" He gave me that old sad, persecuted by the bitchy wife look. He made himself the victim - convenient. It makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing, staying with him.

You could always stay and offer to make dinner. What is her least favorite dish? }:)

I had the same problem for years, when Sk would come over and stay a couple nights sometimes even a week straight. I lived in my bedroom watching t.v and would not associate with them because of their nasty smerks and comments. Anxiety would come over me whenever I knew they was coming, I had never been so hated in my life, after trying to be kind and good and giving all they did was cut my throat so I seperated myself from them for the longest time, but then I thought...wait...I am doing EXACTLY what they want me to do, so to cailm my nervs before the big arrival I would have a couple glasses of wine and was ready to park my butt ANYWHERE I wanted to in my home, I was taking me and my home and the fact that me and their BD was together " Back". I was giving away the most important things in my life by evadeing them...not realizing it was exactly what they wanted. They loved the fact it was just them and their dad and I excluded myself as they wanted it to be anyways, when I started making my presence through out the home and they seen how happy their dad was to have me around when they was their they stoped being so big on coming back over. I was polite and acted happy and cheerful and obviously they could not handle it, it went from coming over all the tme to once in awhile now never at all. They could except the fact I was there as long as I did not participate in the household, when I started involving myself they resented it, so my opnion is...dont leave your home "ITS YOURS", have a couple glasses of wine to relaxs you, make good conversation and take you and your home and your entire world back :)If you do this she will see her place in your home and will realize it is NOT above you and you just took the fun right out of it for her Your the Queen of your castle...not her!

Just quit caring what they do and live your life and adore your husband - especially when they are there. }:) Men are clueless. They are not wired up like we are..... You can win - it's easy. Be sickenly sweet and attentive to them when they are there - plan activities together when they "want to come over" and include your bitchiest friends.... You know what I'm talking about. }:) Live girl live it's not your problem it's theirs. Oh and to all the children that want access to your home - simply tell them no - and to call before you come over : ) That should not be a problem..... it's easy. Just do it.