A comment about this on another blog got me to thinking about "special days"- i.e. weddings, birthdays, graduations, births of a new baby, etc. and stepparents.

I think "special days" are for the skids to receive all the attention and praise from everyone in their lives. I do not think they are, or should be used as, justifications to exclude others or be mean to others.

When I got married, or have any other event pertaining to me that I invite my dad to, I invite my stepmother. Why? Not because I like her or am buddies with her. Because it's the right thing to do and I wouldn't want to be invited to an event for a family member without my DH, unless it's a baby/bridal shower or "girls night."

As far as I'm concerned, having a SP who is a good person at parties in honor of the skids' birthdays, weddings, or other celebrations pertaining to skids is a good thing because the SP is one more person who can give them praise and attention. And I also think that even if the skids don't want SP there, sometimes everyone has to "suck it up," even at events that are for them. If a birthday party was being thrown for Dad and skid's SO wasn't invited, for the simple fact that Dad doesn't like him/her, even if it's for no reason, I'd bet my bottom dollar that the skid in question would be hurt. They'd want Dad to "suck it up." Relationships are give-and-take. Dad may very well have to do "sucking up" and treat the skids' SOs with respect even if they don't like them. Even at events held pertaining to them. Shouldn't adult skids do the same?