Motion for Conciliation Question
I have been dating my bf for 5 years now and we are getting married in 5 months.
For the past year or so any type of communication with his ex wife has totally ceased. Except through "certified mail" The reason for this is because for the past few years she has called my bf numerous times and has left voice messages, and in the end of her messages she makes nasty remarks about "me" and she calls me horrible names. Also I had to file a police report because she called our home a couple of times and was laughing at me when I told her to stop calling (phone harrasment).
This year has been such a wonderful year for our family since we haven't had to deal with her at all. If there have been any concerns, or changes with the kids, or any changes in visitation we let her know by sending the certified letters, however she has failed to do this.
Last month my bf filed a motion with the court to see if he can get his child support reduced. With the economy the way it is my bf job that he has had for the past 30 years has forced the entire company to a "32" hour week. So, yesterday we get papers in the mail from her attorney that were sent to our attorney, in the papers she had 17 pages of "unreimbursed medical bills" some that were dated back to almost a year ago that she never sent to us, and there was also a motion that her attorney is trying to file for "conciliation" my question is can he be forced into going to conciliation??? We have never denied her of anything, or request, nor are we refusing to speak with her, he just prefers to communicate through certified mail because she is such a B***h! and she blames me for for standing between them in not communicating. She states I am the one who sends the certified letters to her but we both sign the letters, she absolutely hates the fact that I am going to be his childrens step mom, anyway if he is forced to go you can't make someone answer their phone if you call so this is all a waste of time and money we don't have. Does anyone know if she can force him into having to go?? does he have an option???
Thanks so much:)
Why are you signing the
Why are you signing the letters? Never mind just stop doing that. You're throwing gasoline on a fire.
You stay in the background as much as you can when it involves her.
Your BF has to obey every court order. Period If he received a summons he must obey it and show up. If he receives a invitation, no matter how harshly worded such as "You are requested....." "It is recommended...." he can ignore it.
Buy why? I would think that you would want him to be as co-operative as possible when it came to her. She has control of his children at least part of the time. Maybe the majority of the time. This is a woman he wants to get along with as much as possible. If she acts crazy or vindictive let her. Words are meaningless if you let them be.
You will find her far more co-operaive if he smothers her with reasonableness. That's doesn't mean he have to bow to every demand just be reasonable. It'll take time for her to come around since they've been at odds for years but it can happen.
I'll repeat: You stay out of this - as far back out of sight as possible. He answers or creates letters. He calls her. If she calls and you answer you put him on the phone instantly after saying "Oh hi hang on - or I'll have him call". He answers the door and delivers and picks up the children. Stay out of it.
This is actually not a bad
This is actually not a bad thing. This mechanism is used to try to resolve the emotional problems which might lead to continuing conflicts following the dissolution of the marriage. I think it is a good sign that she is the one that is motioning the court to try to work things out so that both parents can communicate effectively for the sake of their children. Everything that is discussed is confidential and cannot be used in court. The only thing the consiliator reports to the court is whether or not the parties have attended.
Of course it can be stipulated during those discussions that any non-emergency contact be via e-mail which is a whole heck of a lot faster than certified mail.
If money is an issue you guys can go before a domestic relations officer which is free.