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if SD12 decided to move in with BM -who ows a lot of CS to us, do we need to pay her CS?

dalhia's picture
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the court established a CS payment a couple of years ago (we never asked before than) and she had to pay for a while (it was directly taken from her pay check) . then she lost her job AGAIN and decided that working was making no finacial sense for her (funny) and she is now living with a friend and getting money from welfare. She lives with her teenage son fro ma diffrent guy (not my DH) and the kid is not even going to school!
anyway, dont get me started...

She has not payed CS for a long time and she owes us quite a bit on medical stuff too (like braces for SD)
now, SD will want to move with BM eventually, im thinking in a year or so because we have a structured household, with rules and all that bad stuff and BM is all about TV until 2 AM and cookies.
my question is: if that happens, do we need to start paying BM CS? or she needs to first pay what she owes and then we would pay? how does it work?
first of all, we are not planning to just let SD go and live with BM for other reasons (not the CS) but SD's best interests. BM is not a good influence, has no life plans or goals and is on welfare by choice..for god's sakes!
any advice or answers?
thank you so much

bi's picture

most likely whatever the support would be determined to be owed by dh would be removed from bm's debt until she was cleared. a court is not going to make dh pay someone who owes him. that's ridiculous.

WifeVersion2.0's picture

It was sort of reverse here. When we got custody of SD my DH was in arrears due to being laid off and out of work for 2 years (he still paid 1/2 of his unemployment to her that whole time but that didn't cover the full support amount due each month). Instead of BM paying him, he took the amount she would be ordered to pay ($200/month because she is also a welfare mom and chooses not to work) and the order states that amount is applied each month towards his arrears. So we now have SD but still pay BM $200/month for her and $700/month for support of SS who still lives with her. We figure by the time he is caught up if she has a job he might consider going for CS for SD but I doubt that will happen.

stepmom1989's picture

Why would you "let" SD go live with BM if she is so lousy? Screw the, who wants to live with who deal. BM is clearly unfit to take care of her. No job, living with someone else, her son isn't in school, on welfire ect. Until SD can come up with a darn good, responsible, grown up reason to why she wants to live with BM, I would not allow it! Once she is 18, more power to her, whatever. But until then, I say it is a bad idea to let her decide and irresponsible on your part to let her, knowing the situation at her BM's. If she still thinks TV till 2am and cookies is a good enough reason to switch homes, it shouldn't be allowed to happen.

Stepmom156's picture

I agree. My SD11's bm can't keep a job, a home or even a phone number so there's no way we'd even consider letting her move back in with bm....thankfully it's not an issue. We are in the same boat. BM lets SD11 stay up all night and do whatever and eat whatever, but SD11 sees the things that BM does and pulls and the lies she has told and SD11 has made it clear that daddy's is home and it she doesn't like going to mommy's because she never knows where she'll be or what new boyfriend mommy will have. Tonight she looked at me while we were driving home and said "I just wish mommy would grow up." All I could think was me 2 kid me freaking 2!

Orange County Ca's picture

Hubby owes or need to pay nothing lacking a court order telling hubby to pay.

If she threatens to ask the court for child support Hubby reminds her of the amount she owes and that she is in criminal violation of the order that she pay and Hubby will ask the judge to jail her until she pays what is owed him.

This should end it.