My SD stopped coming over when she was 15/16 and missed a lot of weekends even before that. She was also alienated by her mother, so that was part of it.

Hopefully, your step kids have friends and will get jobs and they won't come over as much. My SD had no friends, no job, just a bitch of a mom.

My step brat was still up daddy's ass at 12 wanting Undivided attention 24/7. PURE hell. Around 13 SS got into Fortnite video game and plays almost non stop when over. Best thing I could ever hope so otherwise step brat would still be daddy daddy daddy. 

SD stopped wanting to see DH around 9, now at 12 she has started wanting to come around again because she realized he will buy her the trendy crap that preteens can't get enough of.

I don’t know, there are skids in their 20s still coming over on this board. I wouldn’t count on it ending anytime soon. 

Depends on the kid and how their other household is. I have a stepson, and I think gender is another aspect to consider, he lives with us during the week and BMs on weekends. He started asking questions about custody arrangements last year at 8yrs old. Ever since he's turned 9 he has become "braver" and risking the verbal abuse from BM by asking her to: stay a little longer-for her to come by later to get him, for her to bring him home early, and why she won't let him spend any weekends with us. Like I said it has a lot to do with the other household. So 9 is the age my SS is verbally letting BM and us know he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like disappointing any of us, he hates confrontation and has anxiety when he thinks he's going to piss off BM because when he's truthful with her (like telling her he doesn't want to live with her like she keeps pushing) she gets verbally abusive, her fiancé also attacks him (he was 8 the last time) for upsetting BM. It's a mess. Basically he's sensitive so it might take him a little longer (2-3 more years) to bold face refuse to go with her. 

As for girls....I can only go off of how I was a preteen and the other SD stories I've heard and I think they'll start straight up refusal and manipulation tactics as soon as they figure out how much control they have over their parents. Mean Girl mentality is very real and since most parents are played off each other I expect that to start around 10. I also find girls do the sleepover thing a lot more younger and often than boys so yeah ten would be my bet. 
 

if you want to try to encourage it sooner then start putting on those teeny bopper movies of girls doing gymnastics or dance or whatever Extra curricular and subtlety encourage it. Maybe her other household with put her in a sport or something that will start taking up her weekend time. I know most high conflict bms use this tactic all the time to keep dads from seeing their kids. 

It depends on the child and relationship.My exSD And DS both continued visits until they were 18 because in our home(s)  following a court order is expected and important. They both occasionally asked for accommodations - sometimes given, sometimes not depending on the reason.

I remember one poster a number of years ago whose 29-year-old mini-wife SD still came for visitation weekends with Daddy even though she had her own apartment. For some reason, that marriage did not last. :-) 

I remember one poster a number of years ago whose 29-year-old mini-wife SD still came for visitation weekends with Daddy even though she had her own apartment. For some reason, that marriage did not last. :-) 

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I remember that too.

Answer your question, when BM says so.

I'm hoping for when she starts to hit puberty, which could be only 3 years from now.  My actual kids would be 3 and 2 by then, young enough for everything to fade away. 

For most adults, once a parent, always a parent.  The better question is IMHO, when will DH stop tolerating them visiting every weekend.

That... is the question.